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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 17h

Cutting off a text post before the anticipated ending for comic effect has a long history in internet parlance. In this ess

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 1d

just slightly northwest there’s a neighborhood literally called Sherwood Forest with street names to match haha

a screenshot of google maps showing a neighborhood called Sherwood Forest in Atlanta, with street names like Robin Hood Rd and Friar Tuck Rd

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 1d

2000 active cases of white suburban women finding a leaf on their car and thinking that they’re being marked for trafficking/murdering

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 2d

doing monday emails in warm sunlight on the porch and, i hate to say it, but anthropogenic climate change really popped off today ladies

Robert in a gray tank top relaxes in dappled sunlight

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 2d

my therapist: mpreg lowly worm isn’t real he can’t hurt you

mpreg lowly worm:

from the animated children’s show The Bus World of Richard Scarry - the character Lowly Worm reclines against a loaf of bread, but for some reason (which by the way is not explained in the show and he was like this the whole time!!) his abdomen is distended

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 2d

Bach at four-forty

🏰meg⚔️ @Birthright Audiobook! @impavid.us · 5d

In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

I'll go first: Six page commercial lease.

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 3d

three-way tenor divisi

🏰meg⚔️ @Birthright Audiobook! @impavid.us · 5d

In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

I'll go first: Six page commercial lease.

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 3d

(also i forgot that the soldier in this scene is Neelix!)

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 3d

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 3d

le Gommage, n’est-ce pas?

Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 3d

Every once in a while a group of 10-15 tourists vanish without a trace in the Paris Catacombs and then afterward the Eiffel Tower is a few feet taller

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Reposted by Robert B. (he/him)

Liner Notes Danny @linernotesdanny.bsky.social · 27d

In conclusion: you do not, under any circumstances, gotta hand it to Jordan Peterson

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 3d

all of which is to say: you’re not the incompetent one by any stretch of the imagination :)

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 3d

i used to get this all the time and (imho) most of it is a byproduct of the weaponized incompetence of so many men who are parents…people (esp women) feel they need to go out of their way to commend any visible parenting being done by a man 😅

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Reposted by Robert B. (he/him)

Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith.com · 6d

This also 💯 has the vibes of those Facebook ad t-shirts that say stuff like

“MY WIFE IS A MAMA BEAR WITH A HUSBAND (WHO IS ME) AND SHE MIGHT BE A LITTLE CRAZY BUT SO AM I AND IF SHE EATS YOU THEY WILL NEVER FIND YOUR BONES I LOVE THAT B-WORD AND GOD IN THAT ORDER IT’S A DOUG THING TRY TO KEEP UP.”

the corgi from cowboy bebop @realqrampage.fightins.online · 8d

LMAO LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH
EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH

Kash Patel in his own merch looking fucking embarrassing as hell lmao

he’s so fucking ugly

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Reposted by Robert B. (he/him)

McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 4d

“I’m surprised you don’t know this, since you’re a doctor,” I said, “But NOT letting your monkeys jump on the bed actually has far worse consequences. I saw a twenty-seven-part TikTok about it."

I’m a MAHA Mom, and Here’s Why I Won’t Stop My Monkeys from Jumping on the Bed—No Matter What the Doctor Says

I’m a proud mother of five who is obsessed with keeping her monkeys healthy. Some people think it’s crazy how much time I spend making sure everyth...

buff.ly

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 5d

there are still lifes everywhere for those with eyes to see

(i passed this tableau, exactly as pictured, in the hallway near my office – no one seemed to know how these two objects got there or who they might have belonged to)

a tall circular table on the center of which sits a tomato and a pencil

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 5d

thank you for cascading this critical information to us as we drive the business forward!

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 7d

Monteverdi when responding to Artusi:

Judd Greenstein @juddgreenstein.bsky.social · 7d

yes, but it was my generation. actually, it was just me. I ruined modern music. sorry everyone

inane headline, "did a single generation ruin modern music for everyone else?"

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 7d

which a) it was already required to cover with a towel so functionally no one was visibly nude anyway and b) who cares if people want to show their wieners to each other with consent (i never witnessed any cruising there but it’s not my cup of tea so perhaps i was oblivious lol)

Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 7d

my gym just changed the rules and now nudity is not allowed, but i feel like if i register my dissatisfaction (which is mostly about not wanting to have to schlepp trunks and then have them soggy in my gym bag) it will sound like i’m just mad i don’t get to look at wieners 1/

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 7d

zendAIya is meechee

a headline from FreightWaves [I don’t know either] reading “Al surge fuels logistics transformation as Coupa buys Scoutbee”

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 7d

has there ever, in the history of this vast and remarkable planet, been a person who was buying napkins and suddenly remembered that they also needed…onion powder??‽ i’m all for innovative pairings but what was the reason??

a grocery store aisle stocked with paper napkins, with a small extra shelf poking out that has small containers of onion powder

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 9d

All Chads Are Boring

disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 9d

Idk who needs to hear this but ACAB includes chads

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 9d

who is The One Who Started The Fire?

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Robert B. (he/him) @violadagoomba.bsky.social · 10d

better aingredients, better apizza

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