Mike Landers
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ukplissken.bsky.social
Mike Landers
@ukplissken.bsky.social
260 followers 150 following 1.6K posts
8 minutes and 20 seconds from stardom. Vlogs about Burnley FC. Swears a lot. Proud Socialist. Runs One Touch Football, the ex-forum for When Saturday Comes. (https://www.onetouchfootball.com) Often wrong, never in doubt.
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Reposted by Mike Landers
It's not in this article but the government asserts that the sandwich was thrown at "point blank range", which implies subway sandwiches have defined effective weapon ranges of varying lethality, and I would like to see the government's chart of these ranges.
Reposted by Mike Landers
summoning circle, hope this works

🕯
🕯 🕯
🕯 🕯
A cure
🕯 For being clums- 🔥

🕯 Ah shit 🔥

Ah no 🔥 🔥
🔥 🔥 🔥 Oh no oh no
🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥
I know what you're thinking. "Did he squeeze six shots or only five?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a 100g jar of Colman’s English, the most powerful mustard in the world and would blow your head clean off…
Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest.

The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.

"I could smell the onions and mustard."
Reposted by Mike Landers
Dunno what this is referring to (I’ve got dickhead over there muted) but I would recommend watching something less staged and fake than AFTV.

Like professional wrestling for instance.
I park above Manchester Road train station. Brisk walk up the hill (which is always a killer) and then home via Rawtenstall.

Can recommend Bannys. Always freshly cooked to order.

Walking from there, seeing the Turf from the roundabout (especially when lit up) gets me in game mood.
Yeah but I go posh and sit inside. In the summer I walk to the Turf via the canal. Part of my pre-game ritual.
Reposted by Mike Landers
Reposted by Mike Landers
Fascinating comparison of Guy Fawke’s signature before and after he was forced to watch an episode of Mrs Brown’s Boys
Reposted by Mike Landers
I turn 40 in stand up years on 19th Nov.
19th Nov 1985 my first circuit gig at a pub in Putney.
40 years later I mark the passing of time performing at Medical Aid for Palestinians benefit.

Hope you can join me.

It is an amazing line up. SALUT!

london.thecomedystore.co.uk/event/stand-...
Stand Up For MAP
london.thecomedystore.co.uk
Reposted by Mike Landers
This imagined defense by Cheney ("What I Got Right About the Iraq War") from The Onion in 2023 ought to run as a sidebar to every obit that's published this week: is.gd/mzdB9j
He shot him while hunting *quail*.

That’s one step up from shooting at grass.
Reposted by Mike Landers
Nigel Farage currently railing against Parliament being full of "professional politicians".

He founded UKIP in 1993 and was first elected as an MEP in 1999, twenty-six years ago. Less than 5% of current MPs (31 to be precise) have a longer career in politics than Farage. ~AA
You just *know* that if the cheating algorithm was removed before release the same people would be demanding a refund because it wasn’t an accurate emulation.
Reposted by Mike Landers
I will support any New York mayoral candidate who admits bodegas are just convenience stores and everywhere in the world has them
Looking at the Arsenal game and wondering whether some of their fans can actually ever enjoy a game of football?

"Why So Serious? - Burnley 0 Arsenal 2"

youtu.be/kRHex6W-TE4

#burnleyfc
Why So Serious? - Burnley 0 Arsenal 2
YouTube video by Out Of My Tiny Mind
youtu.be
Reposted by Mike Landers
even when far rightwingers are having an extremely positive experience on all fronts they’re still able to hallucinate a situation where they’re the victim
"at the transgender coffee shop"
Vlog is practically a one-taker this week.
Reposted by Mike Landers
Reading this, one proposal is to raise state pension age to 70, which is fine except our ageist society routinely forces people out of work in their 50s. Add to that most people can't afford to retire in their 50s and you potentially have a giant fucking crisis right there
Beyond Our Means - Policy Exchange
Download Publication Online Reader The UK faces a twin-pronged fiscal crisis. At about 100% of GDP, public debt is inordinately high and is set to rise a good deal further. Debt interest alone account...
policyexchange.org.uk
Reposted by Mike Landers
You simply do not have to give article space to Tony Blair every time he wants to sell something.
Reposted by Mike Landers
Reposted by Mike Landers
Please just let me type in the year I was born. No more scrolling. We don’t have to keep doing this to each other.
But there’s me committing the greatest crime in football punditry again:

“Remembering what someone said”.
As someone once said “this lot see a maverick genius changing the game in hitherto unexplored ways, I see a bloke who can’t organise a defence.”

Bielsa is quite rightly lauded in Leeds. But isn’t it funny how he isn’t mentioned anymore by the analysis brains in jars?