Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

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The Onion @theonion.com · 9d

Weird Relative At Family Reunion Knows How Everyone Related To Each Other https://theonion.com/weird-relative-at-family-reunion-knows-how-everyone-rel-1819579336/

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ca-dmv-bot @ca-dmv-bot.bsky.social · 14d

Customer: (not on record)
DMV: og=original gangster, customer is Doug

Verdict: DENIED

California license plate with text "OGDOUG".

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The Onion @theonion.com · 13d

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Sabrina Carpenter https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-sabrina-carpenter/

Are you a natural blond?

We’re all born bald, and we’ll all die bald.

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ca-dmv-bot @ca-dmv-bot.bsky.social · 13d

Customer: THE ACT OF DOING SOMETHING OF GREAT SKILL
DMV: SLAY

Verdict: DENIED

California license plate with text "SLAYYYY".

4 20 100

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🌵Disobey @disobey.gg · 20d

✨ PSA ✨

Supporting a creator is NOT a free ticket to being entitled & overstepping boundaries 🙅‍♀️

9 25

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ca-dmv-bot @ca-dmv-bot.bsky.social · 12d

Customer: FISH EATER
DMV: SEXUAL/ FISH EATER

Verdict: ACCEPTED

California license plate with text "FSH ETR".

4 26 79

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Wario64 @wario64.bsky.social · 12d

MARVEL Cosmic Invasion demo is up on Steam buff.ly/ti1YN87

Trailer buff.ly/CnJ3FuX

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Scott Snyder (NYCC Booth #H-44) @ssnyder1835.bsky.social · 28d

Can't get enough Absolute Catwoman? Then here's some more incredible variant covers we've got for ABSOLUTE BATMAN #13!

Pre-orders for the issue end today, so act now!

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Sarah 🍅 @paintingtomato.bsky.social · 29d

The poster for 1987 comedy Tree Men and a Baby, painted over to say Three Omi and a Baby. With Sagawa holding a naked baby Ryuji (who's got his bleached hair and chops, still, pouting angrily). On his right is Shimano, resting his chin on Sagawa's shoulder. On his left, Nishitani is giving blue steel.

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Metal Fear Sinisterity 👻 @mgearsolidarity.bsky.social · 29d

the thing i love about society is how we make massive scientific advances then some absolute hobgoblin says it isn't real and people just believe him. they believe the hobgoblin.

doesn't even need proof.

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Sexy CHOAM Nomsky costume @samthielman.com · Sep 12

[the shooter is unidentified] the left must be purged with the sword

[the shooter is, again, a compulsive masturbator who loved Hitler] I believe it was pascal who said that the heart has reasons that reason may not know

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The Behemoth @thebehemoth.com · Sep 11

Four Brave Climbers

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ghost ace @kinkcynical.bsky.social · Sep 12

mutantapologist
Magneto: Are you interested in
joining my team of mutants fighting
for the end of mutant
oppression?
A mutant: sure what's it called?
Magneto: the brotherhood of evil
mutants
Mutant: w
Mutant: why's it called that
jakemorph
like you all wouldnt be hyped as fuck to join a
gay rights club called the "brotherhood of evil
gays"
xplainthexmen
this is an exceptionally valid point.

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Wario64 @wario64.bsky.social · Sep 8

Free Steam Points Shop Items (Political Fest) buff.ly/9Qw7PCt

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Bluesky @bsky.app · Sep 8

v1.108 is rolling out today 🚚

Now live, at long last: Bookmarks, aka Saved Posts. For all those posts you'll definitely plan to come back to!

Update the app and give it a try. The button is right down there 👇

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Kelly Turnbull @coelasquid.bsky.social · Sep 7

Look at this fuckin supermodel dog

Shikoku puppy looking like he’s roguishly chuckling

Shikoku Puppy smiling politely at camera

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Jason Schreier @jasonschreier.bsky.social · Sep 4

Silksong's first boss is tricky as hell

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Wario64 @wario64.bsky.social · Sep 4

Alan Wake 2 is $14.99 on Epic Games Store. Deluxe Upgrade is $6 buff.ly/48erQAm

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James Gunn @jamesgunn.bsky.social · Sep 4

Watch the Man of Tomorrow Prequel AKA #Peacemaker Season 2, airing a new episode tonight on HBO Max at 9 pm EST/6 pm PST.

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SteamDB @steamdb.info · Sep 4

Hollow Knight: Silksong has reached 535,213 concurrent players on Steam for the first time https://steamdb.info/app/1030300/charts/?utm_source=Bluesky

Hollow Knight: Silksong Steam Charts

Steam player count for Hollow Knight: Silksong is currently 492962 players live. Hollow Knight: Silksong had an all-time peak of 535213 concurrent players on 4 September 2025.

steamdb.info

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The Onion @theonion.com · Sep 4

Planet Fitness Bans Proper Form

HAMPTON, NH—Stressing its commitment to making everyone feel welcome regardless of athletic ability, national gym franchise Planet Fitness instituted a new policy Thursday that bans proper form. “We d...

theonion.com

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DOGUBOMB @dogubomb.bsky.social · Sep 4

Perfection💙

iam8bit @iam8bit.com · Sep 2

Sketch out floorplans and take down memos with our Blue Prince Mount Holly Estate Notebook!

It comes bound in luxury faux-leather, boasting a debossed Mount Holly crest on the front.

bit.ly/blueprincenotebook

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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · Aug 31

my bluesky

A dedication page to a book. The page says "To my family. Please don't read this."

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The Onion @theonion.com · Sep 3

86 Years Ago Today:

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James Gunn @jamesgunn.bsky.social · Sep 3

Man of Tomorrow. In theatres July 9, 2027

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