Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 12h

That is the absolute worst case thing that could possibly happen. At least if an asteroid hits your house you have a good chance you'd be dead.

Fortunately mine is quickly solvable. I've now blocked out 10.30 in my calendar to go to the shops.

2

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 12h

"Lest we crum-pet"

a man wearing a cowboy hat holds his hand to his head

ALT: a man wearing a cowboy hat holds his hand to his head

media.tenor.com

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 12h

This post is brought to you by me running out of illy red classico and making a cafetiere instead.

I'm having a minor crisis

1 3

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 12h

The person who wrote this is insane.

I'm not going to knock back a can of monster at 6.30 am while fixing the kids' breakfast.

Besides which cafetiere coffee's barely a functional substitute for espresso you shits.

1

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 12h

The whole edifice of shoehorned AI interface onto the end user whether they want it or not is utterly nuts

1

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 12h

"content may be surprising or inaccurate"

How on earth have consumer facing organisations, never mind ones where their customers absolutely depend on the accuracy of information provided, persuaded themselves this is an acceptable thing to roll out?

Jason Hazeley @jasonhazeley.bsky.social · 13h

‘Surprising’

1 1

Reposted by Gibby

chiller @thechiller.bsky.social · 1d

I wrote a lovely poem about the good old days, to go with the nice pink one off Facebook that's quoted below.

The Good Old Days

Tuberculosis, ricketts
Polio and smog
He kicked the wife for five days
On weekends kicked the dog
The choir boys were fiddled with
The priest put round the plate
And then those lads went off to war
And mental health was great.
My gran made broth with only bone
She couldn't afford cheese
And several of her kids died
From preventable disease
Wasn't allowed a bank account
Couldn't get a job
Tuberculosis, ricketts
Polio and smog.

15 78 250

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

Yeah- there's obviously a liability loophole linked to that or something because I think the trains did similar in their mea (though it wasn't us but someone else) culpa.

To be honest pal, you're the one that took and kept my details, you're the one I hold responsible

1

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

Just trying out names for the twins for them 👍.

Top friending right there

1

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

Hooray I love it. Wait what? You bastards

I guess I am now the very definition of 40 something

3

Reposted by Gibby

Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 1d

My response when my wife asks me what last-minute preparations need to be made for my 50th birthday party.

‘More rice, bigger chairs and reinforced toilets.’ Headline for imminent sumo basho in London.

3 6 59

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

Jump through our hoops or we'll make your account more streamlined & better

1

Reposted by Gibby

Luke Plunkett @lukeplunkett.com · 1d

kids teacher just sent this home as part of an assignment he's doing and i want to smash every computer at the school

130 1.7K 7.4K

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

The 17yo son of a friend stood on a weaver fish last summer.
Despite me:
knowing what had happened,
knowing the treatment,
actually taking him to a cafe and applying the treatment,

the number of people (both in our group and strangers) who wanted to have a go pissing on him was remarkable

Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social · 1d

Three panel cartoon by Wawa wiwa comics

An octopus, a shark and a jellyfish are talking to each other

Octopus: I once saw a human and peed myself

Shark: a human saw and peed himself

Jellyfish: a human touched me once and his friend peed on him

Octopus: dude…

Shark: what?

Reposted by Gibby

Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social · 1d

13 620 2.1K

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

"Festive Rectal prolapse for the whole family, ****"

3

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

Slightly concerned at the tickets we've booked for the Christmas production at the Yorkshire playhouse now with my mum and kids.

1 6

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

Also wasn't "can't be disabled" how the shutter sound on a phone camera was implemented initially?

Not heard one of them (apart from on my 75yr old mother in law's phone) in over a decade

1 4

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

Woop-woop, that's the sound of da police

Shoop-shoop, Cher's woke crap's deceased

1

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 1d

And lo, the spirit of Christmas past was followed by the ghost of Christmas Pegging

2

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 2d

*Looks around.

Yeah, you know what? Go ahead you mad fuckers.

Sure, why not

2 6

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 2d

Being over six foot I have a longstanding hatred of beds with footboards. That could have been cured for me if you'd just ventured a little further north with your big machete

2 3

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 2d

In greek myth Procrustes was a dodgy innkeeper who'd cut off the feet of anyone who slept in his bed who was too tall for it (he'd also stretch those who were too small so he was an equal opportunities nutter) so it's a longstanding fear!

2 10

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 2d

Well ain't that fab.

Both LNER and Renault (for my car) have written to tell me they've been hacked and had my data stolen. Just waiting for ASICS to join them as my running shoes for a proper transport hat trick.

This feels like it could become inconvenient and annoying to me suddenly

1

Gibby @thegibbon.bsky.social · 2d

Honestly this is almost as bad as that massive pepsi I bought to share with a date I went to the cinema to see the titanic with, only to find she didn't like cola.

The boat started sinking with lots of rushing water far too early in that film

3