Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3h

I’m seeing double: twelve Krustys dead in gangster-related violence!

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 15h

Me, showing someone to their table and also destroying democracy: right this way, sir.

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 17h

The solution is obviously some flashing lights and a sign that asks you to please only do 60.

Shawn Micallef @shawnmicallef.bsky.social · 17h

"Safe Parkside" filed a Freedom of Information request to get top speeds from the ill-fated & much abused Parkside camera. The speed limit is 40km/h.

Killers, all of them, with the ear & heart of Premier Doug Ford.

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 17h

This morning I have learned I know which way is east and which is west at least 60% of the time.

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 17h

Tag yourself, I’m water consepation methoos.

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 18h

“I am capable of imagining a thing that makes me very angry. This means it has to be happening somewhere. I am not brain-rotten and should immediately be given a 36-episode commitment to a Father Ted reboot.”

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 21h

I decided to dip into that particular rabbit hole, and now if I ever hear someone mention David Cronenberg I can say “what, the evil haunted glove guy?”

Also I guess Colm Feore must have had some gambling debts, which he paid off and then celebrated by accumulating more gambling debts.

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 1d

Apparently your problem is that you write 25,000-word articles, but they’re just the phrase “AI bad” repeated 12,500 times.

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 1d

One of the reasons Manitoba remains a sane place is that demographically it is Winnipeg, Winnipeg’s suburbs, and an empty etcetera made up mostly of Brandon.

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 1d

“Sure, this is theoretically amusing, but does it really add anything? No? In fact it might just be dumb? Then I won’t bother posting it” count for the day: 3.

I apologize to the engagement gods for my sin.

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 1d

Around these parts we call it Discover-Feeder’s Gold.

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 1d

The one where you have money.

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 1d

At the intersection of “non-space heroes shouldn’t go to space” and “it’s fun when being Canadian matters in a Marvel comic” is “Brendel probably shouldn’t research what Alpha Flight were doing in the 2010s”.

Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 1d

One thing I ADMIRE about X-men is how often being Canadian is important to a Wolverine story. Like he goes to Winnipeg to uncover a secret more than you’d expect someone to ever do that.

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 1d

The newest version of watchOS for the Apple Watch includes an improved sleep tracker with a cute numerical summary. This lets me get a good score in sleep, which is both normal to want and possible to obtain.

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 1d

Look, maybe *you* like staying grumpy and ignorant about the world. Personally, I love it when people share cute little cartoons about the American federal government’s war with the FDA, which is an agency of—hold on, gotta look up something real quick

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 2d

If you ever wondered why Canadians get cranky, EVERY GODDAMN REPLY to this post about Canadian Thanksgiving (a holiday that is neither American nor about Christopher Columbus) is about the United States and Christopher Columbus.

Hey, nobody *made* them vote for the host of Wrestlemania 4 @legalminimum.bsky.social · 2d

If for some reason you can’t get behind Indigenous Peoples Day today, feel free to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving. Americans stole a perfectly good holiday and turned it into a day for Columbus, in exactly the same way they coopted Remembrance Day and made it about their Veterans only.

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3d

The day Ted Nugent dies, half of every right wing concert in America will have to become someone playing an 8-track of Ted Nugent’s greatest hits.

onion person @junlper.beer · 3d

dying at rightwingers falling for what looks like an ai generated turning points USA half time show with special guest “measles”

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3d

Yknow what though, she *was* targeted for destruction by the royal family and every media outlet in British. She gets at least one break.

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3d

The second lesson: check your rear view mirror before making a turn.

(Curriculum only valid at comedy traffic school.)

Jesse Hawken @jessehawken.bsky.social · 3d

Get in, get out: first thing they teach you at comedy school

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3d

“You can’t *rehearse* improv.”

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3d

Cashman *and* West? What a get!

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3d

Reading Ranma 1/2 to learn more about the Diet of Worms.

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3d

Just For Laughs could start a forest fire that takes out half of Quebec and people would still say “yeah, but still less bad”.

2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3d

Consequences would require the average Canadian (or at least the average Canadian media) to give half a damn what Meghan Markle’s husband says about anything.

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2000 SCC 69 enjoyer @sirilyan.com · 3d

Hollywood made whatever’s the opposite of a mistake when they didn’t fall over themselves to tell him Hillbilly Elegy was the best movie of the year.

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