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Mara

@lordxelizor.bsky.social

190 followers 370 following 1.4K posts

Your least favorite baseball account’s least favorite baseball account Professional recidivism speedrunner #RepBX 🗽 #GoPackGo 🧀 #RipCity 🌹 #GoGators 🐊 #CelticFC ☘️ #Bohs 🔴⚫️ #VamosRayo ⚡️ #TodoUnPueblo 🇵🇸

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Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 8h

Bill James? The Trevor Bauer apologist?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 8h

Really pissed I got arrested before all the frogs and shit cuz I'd love to be down there is some insane outfit right now but my PO would probably shoot me for even thinking that (I'm still not really sure how probation works)

Reposted by Mara

KD Casey — Read Breakout Year Today! @kdcaseywrites.bsky.social · 16h

if your blake be snell, gosh you're doing well
if your blake be treinen, you are not doing fine-en

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 9h

Me but I'm octoboxing LOI every week

Will Harris @sandwichpick.bsky.social · 17h

Me next year:

"My son is fine"

Madam, your son has watched 44 World
Cup matches in 12 days

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 9h

Pirates Legend Quinn Priester mentioned

CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 18h

what in the hell just happened in Milwaukee

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 9h

Median member of the Trump administration fr

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 9h

Crazy that the Secretary of Agriculture is married to the president of the oil company that George W Bush did insider trading with (allegedly)

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 19h

I've only heard of the band 30 Seconds to Mars in the context of jokes about people thinking that's how long it takes to get to the planet

But it's the Jared Leto band? fuck that fucking band jfc

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 21h

Always surprised when large portions of the internet have the opposite opinion of me on a piece of media when I haven't gone out of my way to be contrarian and I really shouldn't be surprised and yet

Just goes to show I have and will always continue to have strange opinions

Schooley @schooley.bsky.social · 22h

Finally watched John Oliver on Bari Weiss. That felt cathartically personal.

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 22h

Jon Snow was named after his dad's boyfriend btw

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 22h

When I was in jail, I couldn’t call anybody in town to let them know anything because the only numbers I know are my parents’

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Opened up the twitter account I used for ASOIAF shit and was immediately reminded why nobody there likes me. I don't think there's such thing as a rightful king (it would be Catelyn if such a thing existed but they're not ready for that convo), the starks aren't good guys, and I actually read AFFC

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

If you can shoot a zombie you can 100% kill it by dropping a rock on its head from on top of a wall. And guess which one is less of a drain on resources and theoretically infinitely reusable and absolutely everywhere?

I want slings in my zombie movies please

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Where tf are people getting all the bullets in zombie shows?

Like surely you have to go to slings pretty fast cuz bullets would become rare relatively quickly. Ten years out from the apocalypse, you should be using like at least 90% medieval tactics no?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

And why tf do they use knives aka the only weapon where you have to get fully into biting range for it to be useful? Where are the polearms? Surely a knife on a long stick is safer than a knife in the hand. Gimme a zombie thing where the main character has a massive sword they use for area control

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

I’m mostly mad that there’s no ditch and only one layer of wall around Jackson in The Last of Us show. You should have holes and then drop big rocks into those holes once the zombies fall in. Also boiling water would probably help. Save the bullets for when they’re far or inside the walls

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Where tf are people getting all the bullets in zombie shows?

Like surely you have to go to slings pretty fast cuz bullets would become rare relatively quickly. Ten years out from the apocalypse, you should be using like at least 90% medieval tactics no?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Those pedos who are like "I didn't know she wasn't 18" are the most full of shit people have ever been. Anybody with two functioning brain cells could clock a 17 year old at a bar as out of place. Idk if they're trying to delude themselves or what but mf you are a creep gfys

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

The only convincing way to write adolescent characters in fiction is to make them absolute dorks. There is no such thing as a cool high schooler. The most damning sign of the apocalypse would be if a teenager ever said the right thing in any context.

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Yes I'm watching the new episode of task and grieving the loss of my goat Lizzie and then this scene with Emily and the kid from her ice cream job and it's just the least cool two people have ever been and I was just like "these are well written children"

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

The only convincing way to write adolescent characters in fiction is to make them absolute dorks. There is no such thing as a cool high schooler. The most damning sign of the apocalypse would be if a teenager ever said the right thing in any context.

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

John Oliver does basically the dressed up version of that one tweet that's like "twitter is where you make up a guy and then get mad at that guy" or whatever it is like multiple times and episode

And it's just completely unrelated to the topic and not funny and I don't get why he keeps doing it

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Watched my first episode of Last Week Tonight since I was in middle school and it's exactly the same in the worst way possible.

I was just like "lemme see someone make fun of Bari Weiss even more" and instead I got literally the same 5 jokes his staff has been using for a decade

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

I understand that like he's about as left wing as someone can be on a major american television network and he has generally well informed opinions but I just wish there was some creativity in the format. Like we all know late night shows are boring but I'd forgetten that Oliver wasn't exempt

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Watched my first episode of Last Week Tonight since I was in middle school and it's exactly the same in the worst way possible.

I was just like "lemme see someone make fun of Bari Weiss even more" and instead I got literally the same 5 jokes his staff has been using for a decade

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Has there ever been a year where the Ravens and 49ers haven't been injured to shit?

I feel like it keeps happening with those two teams specifically over the past few seasons. At what point is it not an issue of luck anymore?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

I think there’s still a world where he can get over the hump and become like a top 5-7 guy but it’ll be hard to get over the urban Meyer of it all ya know

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

His arm talent, his processing as a pocket passer, and his athleticism have all been like at least 90% as advertised but he’s so inconsistent when the play breaks down (not helped by the fact that the rest of the offense makes that happen a lot) that none of his best traits can shine