Author | Lightnews

apology amatti

@kbandersonyo.bsky.social

580 followers 320 following 870 posts

Los Angeles comedian person, writer of text, enemy of toilet Coproducer of the Avatar 2 Comedy Show https://bit.ly/avatar2noway

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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · Aug 1

Last night at 2:17 am every child from Mrs. Gandy's class woke up, got out of bed, went downstairs, opened the front door, walked into the dark ...and they never came back.

This is why now more than ever the Democratic Party needs your help. Will you pledge $7 today, Kevin?

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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · Aug 6

AAAAARE YOU GONNA TAKE ME OUT TODAY
OHHHHHHH SO I CAN SEE BELOW THE WAVES
AAAAARE YOU GONNA SHOW ME ALL AROUND
GLASS BOTTOM BOATS YOU MAKE THE OCEAN WORLD PROFOUND

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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 14h

The Rizzler implies the existence of the Gizzler if we're going by Wu-Tang logic

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Molly Knight @mollyknight.bsky.social · 16h

oh my god they actually did it lmao

Fox News chyron: by winning, democrats are actually losing

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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 13h

I am so poor

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 14h

The Rizzler implies the existence of the Gizzler if we're going by Wu-Tang logic

7 51 260

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 17h

Can't wait to get a bunch of emails from the democrats like

"a person with left wing ideals has become mayor of New York. This is why now more than ever the Democratic Party needs your help. Will you pledge $7 today to help us in our fight to remain useless"

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 18h

Look nobody here is wrong including me

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 1d

MAMDANI IN
CHENEY OUT
I'M EATING CARTOONISH STEAKS TONIGHT Y'ALL

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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 1d

showing up to Dick Cheney's funeral in hunting gear and shooting his friend again

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 2d

Alpha male asking Google AI "how do I find tacos where are they is there food in my city"

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 4d

Nobody ever told me how much of adult life is spent not wanting to get out of bed

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 8d

The plus side is, knowing Idris Elba endorses ServiceNow AI Technologies really makes me trust the brand

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 8d

good to see all these celebrities with millions of dollars are still getting good commercial work. would hate to see those jobs go to people who aren't already set for life

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merritt @merrittk.com · 8d

Zohran caught in LIES: Mamdani claims to have "loved Final Fantasy III" when he was growing up. yet research indicates that the game he played was in fact the SIXTH Final Fantasy game

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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 9d

I went and saw a whole Bruce Springsteen movie after the third inning and this game is still going, legendary shit. Born to Run long

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 9d

if you reply to any dumbshit fascist dude spewing trash on social media with "sorry about your wife" with no context it will absolutely land. Every time. Somewhere, somehow, there's always a wife issue

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 9d

Attempting to build a life for yourself in America right now kinda feels like jacking off on the Titanic

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 9d

If you can't handle capitalism at its "44,000 gun related deaths per year,"

you don't deserve capitalism at its "15 second midroll ad for Burger King's new Cheesy Beefy Shitsticks during an episode of America's Next Top Advertiser on Bõmbo, the new streaming service from Lockheed Martin"

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Joe Kaye @joekaye.bsky.social · 13d

People don’t ask to hit your penjamin anymore, they just look at you like this.

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apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 14d

The Chair Company is showing signs of becoming an all-timer dark comedy saga and I'm so excited to care about an episodic release again

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 14d

Guy at the UPS store gave me props on my sweatpant style: "Damn you got the one leg rolled up like LL Cool J!"

Little does he know that I'm just a mess

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 16d

Andrew Tate is a peak male? Yeah, a WIDOW'S PEAK male!!

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 19d

also the zombies are woke

Letterboxd review got Night of the Living Dead

Night of the Living Dead (2025)

"the TV says we should evacuate"
"Yeah but Rogan said we should stay in the cellar and smoke cigarettes around our sick kids in an unventillated room"
"Why is your kid sick, didn't she get the zombie vaccine at school"
"....we're alternative parents"
*Charlie Kirk's corpse stumbles into the room, gets shot in the head again*

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 20d

You know this next comic from his AI deep fake account where he generates videos of children falling into zoo exhibits and slowly drains the earth of its resources....give it up for WHYYYYYY

apology amatti @kbandersonyo.bsky.social · 23d

what they don't tell you in the story is that little red riding hood shot her grandma to death earlier in the week while she was shopping for wolfskin coats. dumb as shit dude