apology amatti
@kbandersonyo.bsky.social
Los Angeles comedian person, writer of text, enemy of toilet
Coproducer of the Avatar 2 Comedy Show
https://bit.ly/avatar2noway
Coproducer of the Avatar 2 Comedy Show
https://bit.ly/avatar2noway
Pinned
Last night at 2:17 am every child from Mrs. Gandy's class woke up, got out of bed, went downstairs, opened the front door, walked into the dark ...and they never came back.
This is why now more than ever the Democratic Party needs your help. Will you pledge $7 today, Kevin?
This is why now more than ever the Democratic Party needs your help. Will you pledge $7 today, Kevin?
Reposted by apology amatti
Just in my lifetime we've slid from:
"just the facts ma'am."
to "fuck your feelings."
to "facts are tricky, let's just do stuff based on what we feel SHOULD be true."
to "I invented a robot that says 'very insightful' every time you delude yourself! To deny its rise is punishable by gov't torture."
"just the facts ma'am."
to "fuck your feelings."
to "facts are tricky, let's just do stuff based on what we feel SHOULD be true."
to "I invented a robot that says 'very insightful' every time you delude yourself! To deny its rise is punishable by gov't torture."
December 22, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Just in my lifetime we've slid from:
"just the facts ma'am."
to "fuck your feelings."
to "facts are tricky, let's just do stuff based on what we feel SHOULD be true."
to "I invented a robot that says 'very insightful' every time you delude yourself! To deny its rise is punishable by gov't torture."
"just the facts ma'am."
to "fuck your feelings."
to "facts are tricky, let's just do stuff based on what we feel SHOULD be true."
to "I invented a robot that says 'very insightful' every time you delude yourself! To deny its rise is punishable by gov't torture."
Back on my bullshit*
*downloading every dating app and opening them each one time total
*downloading every dating app and opening them each one time total
December 20, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Back on my bullshit*
*downloading every dating app and opening them each one time total
*downloading every dating app and opening them each one time total
Proving once again that Trump is an affront to Mankind
December 17, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Proving once again that Trump is an affront to Mankind
Whenever I wanna get mad about Trump's trashy ass Reiner rant, I just remember that when he dies in like a year the internet is going to cook his dead ass into oblivion and then I smile faintly
December 16, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Whenever I wanna get mad about Trump's trashy ass Reiner rant, I just remember that when he dies in like a year the internet is going to cook his dead ass into oblivion and then I smile faintly
Reposted by apology amatti
My Fucking Ex Took the 8 Red Kids
December 14, 2025 at 4:11 AM
My Fucking Ex Took the 8 Red Kids
Deus ex Bigalow: Male Gigalo
December 13, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Deus ex Bigalow: Male Gigalo
What do you call the rock bottom below the rock bottom? Überocken bōttem? The Underdark? Whatever that is, yeah we found it. Not my fave tbh
December 12, 2025 at 4:18 PM
What do you call the rock bottom below the rock bottom? Überocken bōttem? The Underdark? Whatever that is, yeah we found it. Not my fave tbh
Reposted by apology amatti
she's so blind she thought she was talking to Kevin Smith about Tusk
December 11, 2025 at 1:17 AM
she's so blind she thought she was talking to Kevin Smith about Tusk
she's so blind she thought she was talking to Kevin Smith about Tusk
December 11, 2025 at 1:17 AM
she's so blind she thought she was talking to Kevin Smith about Tusk
annoying guys: "if it were me in Pluribus I would react better to it than Carol is, I wouldn't be angry like her"
me: "that's incredibly interesting"
me: "that's incredibly interesting"
December 4, 2025 at 4:15 AM
annoying guys: "if it were me in Pluribus I would react better to it than Carol is, I wouldn't be angry like her"
me: "that's incredibly interesting"
me: "that's incredibly interesting"
Reposted by apology amatti
How much ketamine does it take to hit the Harkonnen phase?
December 1, 2025 at 2:43 AM
How much ketamine does it take to hit the Harkonnen phase?
I like all these articles from people who shouldn't be paid to write that are like
IS LOUIS CK MAKING A COMEBACK? CAN HE RECOVER FROM HIS EPIC CANCELLATION?
WILL HE RECEIEVE SOME SORT OF ACCOLADE, ONE THAT PERHAPS IS ACCOMPANIED BY A GIFT OF A GOLDEN IDOL THAT REPRESENTS ACHIEVEMENT?
IS LOUIS CK MAKING A COMEBACK? CAN HE RECOVER FROM HIS EPIC CANCELLATION?
WILL HE RECEIEVE SOME SORT OF ACCOLADE, ONE THAT PERHAPS IS ACCOMPANIED BY A GIFT OF A GOLDEN IDOL THAT REPRESENTS ACHIEVEMENT?
November 30, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I like all these articles from people who shouldn't be paid to write that are like
IS LOUIS CK MAKING A COMEBACK? CAN HE RECOVER FROM HIS EPIC CANCELLATION?
WILL HE RECEIEVE SOME SORT OF ACCOLADE, ONE THAT PERHAPS IS ACCOMPANIED BY A GIFT OF A GOLDEN IDOL THAT REPRESENTS ACHIEVEMENT?
IS LOUIS CK MAKING A COMEBACK? CAN HE RECOVER FROM HIS EPIC CANCELLATION?
WILL HE RECEIEVE SOME SORT OF ACCOLADE, ONE THAT PERHAPS IS ACCOMPANIED BY A GIFT OF A GOLDEN IDOL THAT REPRESENTS ACHIEVEMENT?
Hello @profanity.accountant have i been doing cusses or do i get to go to heaven
November 30, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Hello @profanity.accountant have i been doing cusses or do i get to go to heaven
What are you unpopular film takes that you don't actually believe?
Mine is "all movies should be one hour and 46 minutes long"
Mine is "all movies should be one hour and 46 minutes long"
November 30, 2025 at 3:37 AM
What are you unpopular film takes that you don't actually believe?
Mine is "all movies should be one hour and 46 minutes long"
Mine is "all movies should be one hour and 46 minutes long"
Extraterrestrial being after learning of the "not me" meme prompt:
"But...but it is you. It is clearly you imbibing your second coffee drink before the sun has fully risen in your sky. Do you take me for a fool?"
"But...but it is you. It is clearly you imbibing your second coffee drink before the sun has fully risen in your sky. Do you take me for a fool?"
November 29, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Extraterrestrial being after learning of the "not me" meme prompt:
"But...but it is you. It is clearly you imbibing your second coffee drink before the sun has fully risen in your sky. Do you take me for a fool?"
"But...but it is you. It is clearly you imbibing your second coffee drink before the sun has fully risen in your sky. Do you take me for a fool?"
Grown Ups 2 & Grave of the Fireflies double feature anyone???
November 29, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Grown Ups 2 & Grave of the Fireflies double feature anyone???
The patron saint of 80's childhood trauma is St. Rangerthings
November 29, 2025 at 2:46 AM
The patron saint of 80's childhood trauma is St. Rangerthings
Reposted by apology amatti
This is not true.
Trans-Siberian Orchestra was named after the railroad in Siberia, a symbol of hope in a harsh, unforgiving place.
December 11, 2024 at 3:32 AM
This is not true.
Reposted by apology amatti
Blast our music at your Thanksgiving dinner. Don't be a pussy.
November 27, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Blast our music at your Thanksgiving dinner. Don't be a pussy.
"Hey Kev it's me, Marty. I got this new picture I want you to star in! It's about a piece of shit rapist who lives in hotels so technically isn't homeless at all. It's a documentary. You in?"
November 20, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Hey Kev it's me, Marty. I got this new picture I want you to star in! It's about a piece of shit rapist who lives in hotels so technically isn't homeless at all. It's a documentary. You in?"
Nobody should ever look into the infrastructure failures that cause LA to become a fucking water park every time it rains twice, the system is perfect and running smoothly. "Everyone almost drowns in their cars" is my second favorite season behind "everything is always on fire." Don't go changin'
November 18, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Nobody should ever look into the infrastructure failures that cause LA to become a fucking water park every time it rains twice, the system is perfect and running smoothly. "Everyone almost drowns in their cars" is my second favorite season behind "everything is always on fire." Don't go changin'
Reposted by apology amatti
The drink is called Stop Yelling At Us
Beginning Monday, a Frozen Peppermint Hot Chocolate drink will be available exclusively at Starbucks cafés inside Target stores.
The chains are hoping the drink can drum up excitement from customers this holiday season.
🔗https://tinyurl.com/yrshv45s
The chains are hoping the drink can drum up excitement from customers this holiday season.
🔗https://tinyurl.com/yrshv45s
November 17, 2025 at 8:56 PM
The drink is called Stop Yelling At Us
Reposted by apology amatti
do u guys think he finished like this
November 16, 2025 at 9:23 PM
do u guys think he finished like this
do u guys think he finished like this
November 16, 2025 at 9:23 PM
do u guys think he finished like this
they shoulda called Zootopia 2 "Twozopia" but whatever
November 11, 2025 at 9:51 PM
they shoulda called Zootopia 2 "Twozopia" but whatever