Jill Twiss
@jilltwiss.bsky.social
23K followers 810 following 2.8K posts
Comedy writer. "Have I Got News For You", "Last Week Tonight", "The Amber Ruffin Show." Author of "A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo" and "The Someone New." Friend to several penguins.
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jilltwiss.bsky.social
My body is not cut out to be this furious all the time. I am built for naming dogs Doctor Reginald Pancakes and telling people about the time two bees stung me while I was on the toilet
jilltwiss.bsky.social
imagine staying here in time and trying to explain it to me
jilltwiss.bsky.social
it's all been worth it
jilltwiss.bsky.social
This headline is an excellent vocal warmup
jilltwiss.bsky.social
ok but this is really going to confuse kids who are just trying to dress like Target employees
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Just killed nine acres of trees and it told me to try saying "hi"
jilltwiss.bsky.social
oh one really fun idea i have is that the Supreme Court should resolve the issue before they go around making the whole country do what they say
atrupar.com
Amy Coney Barrett defends heavy use of the shadow docket: "If we wrote a long opinion, it might give the impression that we have finally resolved the issue, and in none of these cases have we finally resolved the issue."
jilltwiss.bsky.social
i think it's funny that people thought AI was going to work when i've never once countered an automatic faucet that worked right and we've had those for decades
jilltwiss.bsky.social
all in on Hot Foghorn Leghorn
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Yeah but I was lifting 235 before Covid so it’s less of a plateau than a slight bummer. But shall forge on!
jilltwiss.bsky.social
I took pills because I cannot swallow goopy liquid. Could have been placebo effect but lifting felt easier after about a week. I did also feel bloaty though if you’re worried about that
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Stillllll at 205 post-Covid. Sad! Thank you for your attention to this matter. (Also stopped taking creatine which may be the real culprit)
jilltwiss.bsky.social
ahhh so it's just more time for bullying
jilltwiss.bsky.social
MY Halloween party is semi-formal, so we’ll be roberting for apples (i am so sorry)
jilltwiss.bsky.social
it was alarming in the past few days to figure out that this world was just hanging on by a Dolly Parton
jilltwiss.bsky.social
It is helpful to know I have their permission
jilltwiss.bsky.social
How weak must your beliefs be if you think a kid reading a book is going destroy those beliefs
mattcohen.bsky.social
I spotted Marlon Bundo on the "Children's Banned Books" display at The Strand this weekend. It's so sad that we live in a world where this is a real category.
Some of the books in the "Children's Banned Books" display in The Strand bookstore include Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi, Sylvester And The Magic Pebble by William Steig, A Day In The Life Of Marlon Bundt by Jill Twiss (illustrated by EG Keller), When Aiden Became A Brother by Kyle Lukoff (illustrated by Kayla Juanita), It's Perfectly Normal by Robin H. Harris and Michael Emberley, The Amazing Bone by William Steig, No, David! by David Shannon, Not Quite Narwhal by Jessie Sima,  And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell, Green Eggs And Ham by Dr. Seuss, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, Strega Nona by Tomie dePaola, Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown (illustrated by Clement Hurd), The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak, The Family Book by Todd Parr, The First To Die At The End by Adam Silvera, Charlotte's Web by E.B. White (pictures by Garth Williams), Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin, Jr.  (art by Eric Carl), Julián Is a Mermaid by Jessica Love, and many others.