Author | Lightnews

~garry~

@garrykerls.bsky.social

1.4K followers 820 following 220 posts

🏄‍♂️surfin’ the web🕸️ | words 4 @flagrantmag.com @hard-drive.net - @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social

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~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 19d

accidentally parked in a witch’s spot and my car got toad

17 34

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 1h

it sure as hell wasn't Wet Min that's for sure

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 1h

tell your cat not to clock-in one more minute at the biscuit factory until they unionize

3 11

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 1h

a world covered in water would like to have a word with you

1 1

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 3h

movies 20 years ago would just slap eyeliner on a kid and tell you that they’re Johnny Depp’s character in a tragic backstory flashback

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 3h

helping my mom sign up for Medicare and this is the third question…

1 3

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 7h

"the best i can do is two weeks of SNAP benefits"

Reposted by ~garry~

HBO MaXXXinoparsnip @dekkoparsnip2.bsky.social · 1d

Actually Frankenstein is the name of the movie

3 35 150

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 7h

grandpa got mad at a commercial and now i can't eat in november

1 8

Reposted by ~garry~

pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 1d

Frankenstein is in cinemas? Awful. He should be in prison!

41 220 1.8K

Reposted by ~garry~

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 1d

Wasn’t able to watch WS live but apparently the Jonas Bros did some of a song at some point? I cannot express this urgently enough: NO. Baseball is not meant to be associated with entertainment. The beauty of baseball is its uninterrupted agony. The outside world must be barred from the stadiums.

75 400 3.8K

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

added to the watchlist

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

how dare you

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

gonna start pronouncing patio like ratio

4 3 22

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

a man in a red jacket is sitting at a table with a binder and a book .

ALT: a man in a red jacket is sitting at a table with a binder and a book .

media.tenor.com

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

this elliptical at my gym was once used by the dinosaurs

2 1 21

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

when i was a sophomore in college i showed up to the B improv club for the rejects who didn’t get accepted into the A improv club and found out everyone who tried out made it after sitting in an empty room for 30 minutes

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

sorry babe, the plastic Dracula teeth stay ON during sex

2 1 13

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

can any scientists tell me how intense a shock i would need to endure for my bones to be visible for a second? i’m trying to impress a girl

3 14

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

all America needs right now is a streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds

8 30

Reposted by ~garry~

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 3d

when the Beatles said "i read the news today, oh boy" i felt that

18 56

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 2d

my favorite Mario Party character is Shy Guy because same bro

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 3d

when the Beatles said "i read the news today, oh boy" i felt that

18 56

Reposted by ~garry~

ceej @ceej.online · 3d

After a lengthy period of difficult reflection, I have reluctantly decided to endorse my own party’s nominee. Despite being overwhelmingly popular with voters, I will be extremely careful to frame my endorsement using bad faith language cribbed directly from their opponent’s attack ads

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~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 3d

in my belly

1 1

~garry~ @garrykerls.bsky.social · 4d

in my him era

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