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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson

@fartsjohnson.bsky.social

3.3K followers 4.2K following 24K posts

Most things I say are jokes I'm Farts Johnson Twin Peaks/Cheers/Star Trek/MASH/Dr Who/Community Pink Floyd/Prince/Rush/The Cure/Funkadelic/Gorillaz TRON/MST3K/Garfield Dogs/Cats Southern as Fuck I'm 39

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · Feb 2

bunch of rednecks sitting around a bonfire on a very clearly cold night. the one sitting on the back steps, he spits and says "Dracula, huh?"

everyone nods and mumbles in agreement

the dude still sitting in his truck says, "We gotta go get that mother fucker"

in this seven-film pitch, I will

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Elizabeth Veldon @thatelizabeth.bsky.social · 1h

You’ve got blood on your hands

Each and every one of you transphobic bastards have blood on your hands.

The politicians, the ‘journalists,’ the ‘academics,’ the ‘concerned parents,’ the people with ‘legitimate concerns.’

You all have fucking blood on your hands

Izzy Kamikaze @izzykamikaze.bsky.social · 1h

Marie McGowan, 89, has died 3 years after a brutal assault during which she was put headfirst into a rubbish bin. Her attacker, Alex Bailey, believed she was "a man dressed as a woman."

This is the world the transphobes are creating "to protect women."

RIP Marie. share.google/PFaI5YTh9tBw...

Woman, 80s, dies three years after Dublin attack

A woman in her 80s who was attacked in south Dublin just over three years ago has passed away.

share.google

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 1h

open.spotify.com/track/3i25w2...

Fool in the Rain - Remaster

open.spotify.com

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Woltergeist II: The Other Side @wolter.bsky.social · 2h

that’s ralph johnson

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 2h

he *does* have Powerful Eyebrows lol

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Spooky Scary Sarahtons 🎃 (they/them) @sarahndipity.bsky.social · 2h

its the eyebrows. id die for Ralph.

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 2h

People just love that Ralph

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Spooky Scary Sarahtons 🎃 (they/them) @sarahndipity.bsky.social · 2h

omg Ralph!

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 2h

RALPH

my beloved black and tan mutt of a son, looking at me, on the front hall couch

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 2h

a man in a suit and tie says i hate so much about the things that you choose to be .

Alt: Michael Scott says i hate so much about the things that you choose to be .

media.tenor.com

Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 2h

lmaoooo

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Well actually it's the real world that's scary these days :smug: @axleblaze.bsky.social · 2h

You literally beat me by 8 seconds
bsky.app/profile/axle...

Well actually it's the real world that's scary these days :smug: @axleblaze.bsky.social · 2h

@fartsjohnson.bsky.social taking his dog for a walk

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Well actually it's the real world that's scary these days :smug: @axleblaze.bsky.social · 2h

@fartsjohnson.bsky.social taking his dog for a walk

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 2h

me destroying @jamesleech.bsky.social with a high kick

Homestar Screens @grapenutsrobot.graphics · 3h

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 2h

Ralph n me

Homestar Screens @grapenutsrobot.graphics · 2h

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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 9h

Nemiscam, Alberta

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🎃🎃🎃Tars or Treat!!!👻👻👻🍭🍭🍭🕷️🕷️🕷️ @tarstarkas.bsky.social · 15h

I see 4, including MY SIDE PIECE HIT THE LOTTO and MY SIDE PIECE FOR FANS ONLY

My Side Piece and Hit the Lotto look connected, For Fans Only and Full Body Massage may be connected, all are directed/written by the same two guys

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 2d

ah, my favorite Zeppelin album, PIG FIT

cover of PHYSICAL GRAFFITI with the letters P I G F I T highlighted

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 2d

I wonder if there's a whole series of MY SIDE PIECE thriller films.

poster for MY SIDE PIECE: FULL BODY MASSAGE

Movie Description: When her husband's empire fails, an author finds he and her beat friend are plotting her murder. She must write her own ending to survive

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · Nov 18

I instructed my lawyer to change my will to say, at my funeral, as my casket is lowered into the grave, the worst song I've ever heard has to blast from the hole on repeat til the casket is buried. That's right, everyone's gonna have to deal with "Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band while they cry.

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Ing aka Tophat Artooning @ingforart.bsky.social · 16h

Gonna be real, this is some Addams family dynamics

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

We try

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · Mar 3

To add to the Mythos, Farts Johnson's attorney is also his Landlord, who Farts rents the library from. Main reason the attorney/landlord decided to finally take the Bar exam is because he knew Farts will eventually marry another crazy/possibly abusive person, given Farts's type.

All Of This Is True

Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · Nov 18

yes, Farts Johnson has an attorney. lmao

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

open.spotify.com/track/2DNDL8...

Candyman

open.spotify.com

Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · 16h

open.spotify.com/track/4uKP3i...

Believe

open.spotify.com

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Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson @fartsjohnson.bsky.social · Nov 27

Is Charles Emerson Winchester III from M*A*S*H related to Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural?

In this 25,978 page fanfiction, I will

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