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phebe

phebe

@clitullus.bsky.social

480 followers 160 following 5.2K posts

green and sweet, but with a taste for salt https://linktr.ee/phebewrites

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phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 11h

downton abbey is quite tedious. there are no stakes! everyone is mean but in a petty way; conflict is contained, surfacing only for a scene or two, and resolving neatly before the end of an episode. the plot is threadbare as are the characterizations. quips and counters keep the show chugging!

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 12h

I don’t WANT to get the rest of my joints x-rayed. I know what’s there—or, rather what isn’t…

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 1d

your knee has a marvelous mustache, I now imagine—but of course it would, the scoundrel frog…

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 1d

it takes a block!

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 1d

convinced the (lovely, misinformed) owners of the (darling, insane) new lab-boxer puppy on our block to ditch the choke collar, then scrounged up Celia’s old harnesses for hand-me-downs—they were thrilled! also gave them some pointers on leash training, because that pup is a puller extraordinaire…

Reposted by phebe

jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · Aug 3

you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 1d

“point of order: beyond paradise is foreign film” - my sexual partner

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 1d

“whose cum is it anyway?”

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 1d

do they ever take an incredible home-museum and frame the entire entry/visiting experience (loosely, or perhaps just for the children’s semi-guided experience) as if you are sneaking/breaking in? Less robbery, more mixed up files?

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 1d

reflecting on the louvre robbery this morning and separately how much I loved visiting the maison de victor hugo in paris years ago, so quiet and dark and full of texture and detail…

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

look at her!!!! she’s a perfect baby angel. talk shit, get hit :)

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

well she is YOUR daughter…

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

But also: don’t fucking talk about my dog.

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

I then walked one hundred feet to the shop, bought some pedialyte, and returned to find them gone! If there’s one thing that teaching ages 10-18 has taught me, it’s how to handle a little shit.

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

I was fair until the puppy-fucking… then I called them fourteen year olds, a palpable hit, and told them to hurry up and hop the fence, as my puppy (like them) was out past her bedtime—or should I call security, as they didn’t look athletic enough to repeat the feat without injury or embarrassment?

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

They laughed at me, told me to go fuck myself, asked me if I ever fucked my puppy, said she was stupid and turd-shaped, and were otherwise extremely unpleasant.

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

I was very reasonable! I just pointed out that it’s rude and fucked up and selfish — and also they were trespassing and littering and generally being complete and utter shits!

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

this time, it was the spoilt sixteen year old shits from soho who broke into the community garden* to smoke cigarettes and feel cool

*funded solely by donation; maintained entirely by elderly volunteers; beloved by all locals

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

not even 30 and already spending my saturdays yelling at local youths…

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 2d

“brad lander and a contingent of drag queens” is my ideal rotation

adam whalen, mph 🐳 @awhale.bsky.social · 2d

hundreds of people out for No Kings NYC, led by @bradlander.bsky.social and a contingent of drag queens carrying signs that read “no kings only queens”. solidarity is palpable

photo of the protest, lots of people and signs

closer photo of signs

Brad lander poking out of the front of the march crowd

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 3d

you know shit is bad when kinsale’s prince of midnight is your comfort read.

Reposted by phebe

👻madeline boOoOoOodent👻 @oldenoughtosay.com · 3d

every adult should know how to craft something. i use that loosely: cook a meal, do a bit of DIY, sew a button, grow a plant.

if there is nothing in this world that you can make yourself... why. what are you doing

Zach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · 4d

Do you have any extremely niche, but serious, ethical stances?

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 4d

can’t wait

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 4d

Probably not to any degree of detail!

phebe @clitullus.bsky.social · 4d

Sheridan le Fanu’s supernatural feel like gossamer.