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cielsosinfel.bsky.social
rue ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ
@cielsosinfel.bsky.social
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rue 30โ†‘ he/him. fagdyke ่… ๐Ÿ”žโš ๏ธNSFW. FUBM freely! too offline for fandom right now. but i like CRPGs, FE3H ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’›&็‹‚่ก๐Ÿšฌ๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ’•&๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿ†— PFP & header: @12cd.bsky.social ๐Ÿ’ž ๆ—ฅๆœฌ่ชžๅ‹‰ๅผทไธญใฎใง้–“้•ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใ‚‰ใ™ใฟใพใ›ใ‚“
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Forced myself to go to social thing instead of wallowing in my apartment and it's going ok so far. Feeling normal. Won two games of pool, singles and doubles. Neighbor I never spoke to before who recognized me from the vigil gave me a pep talk and I realized oh. Staying home bad.
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And this woman she interviewed now seems to get it
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the day that society at large understands that testosterone and estrogen are necessary hormones in your body regardless of your sex, and that hormone supplementation is a health question rather than a loaded emotional question, will be one of the greatest days in human history.
when trans people take HRT to feel normal: โ€œlook at these depraved sex freaks performing their sick fetish in public, we should bully them out of existenceโ€

when cis ppl take HRT so they can fuck real good:
trying to talk about the relationships and community dynamics i navigated while homeless makes me feel insane and like i am from an alternate plane of reality from anyone around me. much like being a survivor of child sexual abuse, or a survivor of a controlling abusive relationship.
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It is baffling that the framing is "cis people benefit from testosterone" and not "there are more trans people than we realized and when we take the stigma away from HRT their lives are improved"

But what do I know, I'm just a trans dude who didn't get the care I needed until I hit perimenopause
when trans people take HRT to feel normal: โ€œlook at these depraved sex freaks performing their sick fetish in public, we should bully them out of existenceโ€

when cis ppl take HRT so they can fuck real good:
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a flower bouquet โ˜บ๏ธ
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ๅฎŒ่ตฐ่จ˜ๅฟต
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We care about your experience with Adeptus Mechanicus. Please hold
#wh40k
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one of my favorite depictions of a queer family ; the painter depicted her partner, their adopted daughter, and her father here. if you look closely in the bottom left corner, all 3 dolls wear dresses. a touching and oft overlooked piece of queer history.
Malerinde og Barn I Atelieret (Painter and child in the studio) (1893) - Emilie Mundt #genre_painting
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ใƒใ‚คใ‚นใƒšใ‚ญใƒกใƒฉ
did the 2013 menier chocolate factory production of merrily we roll along get removed from youtube!!!!!!!!!!๐Ÿ˜ญ
We caught the train to another neighborhood to get ramen and hang out for a bit, then went back to the bar thinking movies would be over, but then they were playing In the Mouth of Madness which hits all my institutionalization trauma

It's not my week
People making jokes about death or murder has a 70/30 chance of making me break down crying in public very nice very chill

Couldn't even play pool with my friend last night because the bar played Poltergeist and Halloween 4 back to back and apparently this is too much for me
Which armored core cus I know something about 6 made a bunch of people insane in a horny for fucked up relationship dynamics way

Bloodborne is my actual vote though because it is really really really good, style, music, combat, worldbuilding, memorable character
.....
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Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader (2023)
And I don't get it as badly as someone more masculine, or men of color

But the constant stress I experience when a child just wants to interact with a neighbor they see often with a dog they want to play with and I have to worry about whether I'll be accused of predation for being nice to them
i have constant anxiety about this

kids coming over to my apartment to ask to play with my dog. kids asking me for hugs. kids asking me to help them find their toys in the courtyard. kids asking me to help carry groceries home. like i do not know your parents. you have no idea what this looks like.
did talk with another trans guy neighbor about wanting to look out for the kids in the building, and a large part of the vigil was people speaking about everyone in the community needing to help look out for the kids, but the fact of being a man/queer/trans making that incredibly risky
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you actually don't need to have affective empathy to be a good person. if you don't feel sad when other people feel sad or whatever, that doesn't make you a monster.

it's your behavior and how you choose to treat others that decides your character. not the presence or absence of emotions.
Do you have any extremely niche, but serious, ethical stances?
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An English fan translation of "Screaming Mad George's Paranoiascape" (PS1) has been released by "Aeon Genesis": aeongenesis.net/projects/par...
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The Wicked and the Willing by Lianyu Tan is one of my favorite queer horror novels and favorite vampire novels, everyone go read it (it's like in the first 3 on the list)
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