Author | Lightnews

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓

@borntoeatbacon.com

660 followers 360 following 11K posts

Old gimp who likes Halloween/Samhain, Sci-Fi, & horror. *On the spectrum. *My roommate is a cat. *I know were my towel is. *Location: North-East Ohio *Letterboxd: https://boxd.it/eh3g *Wishlist: http://wishlist.borntoeatbacon.com

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Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 20m

Well yeah, you're supposed to roast your nuts on an open fire, like the song says......right?

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 30m

This is so unfair. 5 hot guys and ME?
Like they aren't gonna know it was me?
So I stole your bacon, get over it already!

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 36m

a squirrel is wearing a hula hoop around its neck and standing on its hind legs .

ALT: a squirrel is wearing a hula hoop around its neck and standing on its hind legs .

media.tenor.com

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 1h

Perry Mason
Ironside
Rockford Files
Quincy M.E.
Crossing Jordan
Bones
Castle
X-Files
Warehouse 13
Haven
eureka
Fringe
Dexter
ST-DS9
ST-NG
Babylon 5
Farscape
Stargate SG-1
Stargate Atlantis

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 2h

Don't say memory loss? That is gonna make things awkward next week when I'm at the neurologist for memory loss.

Nurse: "So what are you hear for today?"

Me: "Um, I forgot?"

Reposted by Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓

Sacrifice! At the Harvest Festival @theharvestmaid.bsky.social · 3h

A scary number of people are waaaaay too comfortable with the idea that being a young white man and being a Nazi go together like peanut butter and jelly. It really doesn't have to be that way!

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Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 4h

That is a brilliant way to accomplish ankle support in style. Full marks, Grannie!

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 4h

"The last <insert random thing here> will shock you!"

No. No it won't. Using this stupid fucking click bait phrase will get your post blocked though, bye bye!

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 4h

I'm honestly kind of jealous.

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 4h

First stop......

a man is dancing in an office with the words bacon written on the bottom

ALT: a man is dancing in an office with the words bacon written on the bottom

media.tenor.com

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Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 4h

a cartoon of a man in a stockade with the words i 'm free i 'm free

ALT: a cartoon of a man in a stockade with the words i 'm free i 'm free

media.tenor.com

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Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 4h

At 50 F (10 C) I actually had to pause and consider whether to wear shorts, or pants and a hoodie.

Shorts obviously won, but I did pause to consider pants. Briefly.

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Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 5h

Are you sure we aren't all just visitors in a communal coma dream?

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Reposted by Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓

AnnaMolly will delete @anna-molly.bsky.social · 5h

Pardon me while I slip into something a little more comfortable (a coma)

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Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 5h

I was really torn between the back and the navy, but chose the navy in the end.

I have many shirts from them, they hold up better then Fright-Rags and some other, in my opinion.

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 6h

I wonder how these white "Christians" would feel if they found out the leader of their church had pagen tats beneath his robes?

I imagine they would be inconsolable and demand he step down immediately.

Reposted by Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓

AnnaMolly will delete @anna-molly.bsky.social · 8h

The family that plays together…

A book titled, hand jobs for the whole family
With an old fashioned illustration of a family of seven, busily working in the kitchen

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Reposted by Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓

Veruca's Alt @verucas-alt.bsky.social · 11h

Your apology should be as loud as your error.

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Reposted by Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓

Tony Pennino @beatnikprof.bsky.social · 17h

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
― George Carlin

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Reposted by Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓

trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 14h

if you’ve ever cured your insomnia no you didn’t

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Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 14h

This is me sleeping.

a close up of a man 's face with the letter m written on his face

ALT: a close up of a man 's face with the letter m written on his face

media.tenor.com

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 16h

There is no way you are going to get me to Google "gimp suit".

Reposted by Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓

Thievesy @thievesy.bsky.social · 17h

would I trick or treat there? #49

this is so gaht dang clever, I love it. not much to dissect here, but they don’t need anything else. guillotine and a handcarved pumpkin; take my money! (or my hand, whichever). likely butterfingers. yes, I would trick or treat there. 🎃🍬

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Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 17h

I would try pickle pops...

Born to Haunt Bacon 🥓 @borntoeatbacon.com · 17h

Butterfingers handling the guillotine. We'll played, deal me in!