betty
@ytteb.bsky.social
82% made-up statistics, 21% jokes, 10% tater tots, 5% the one percent, 4% math. New and improved formula!
I love the show The Residence on Netflix because I’ve said OMGWAITISTHAT Balki from Perfect Strangers? And [tilts head] Taran Killam?? And whaaaaa… is that the guy from Mallrats?! JANE CURTIN??!!?! And I love Uzo Aduba. She is *insanely* talented
February 10, 2026 at 2:48 AM
I love the show The Residence on Netflix because I’ve said OMGWAITISTHAT Balki from Perfect Strangers? And [tilts head] Taran Killam?? And whaaaaa… is that the guy from Mallrats?! JANE CURTIN??!!?! And I love Uzo Aduba. She is *insanely* talented
Well, isn’t that something
February 9, 2026 at 2:12 PM
Well, isn’t that something
Stop giving Drunk Uncle the microphone
Trump at National Prayer Breakfast: "They rigged the second election. I had to win it. I needed it for my own ego. I would've had a bad ego for the rest of my life. Now I really have a big ego. Beating these lunatics was incredible ... The first time they said I didn't win the popular vote. I did"
February 5, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Stop giving Drunk Uncle the microphone
Betsy?! My name is literally my email address and you can’t even get it right when you’re trying to sell me something? To the Junk folder you go
January 28, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Betsy?! My name is literally my email address and you can’t even get it right when you’re trying to sell me something? To the Junk folder you go
Gentlemen: if a woman confides in you that she’s uncomfortable because a man (or more than one man) is hitting on her at a work conference, your response should never be “that must feel very validating” or “at least you know you’ve still got it” or “I wish women would hit on me at a conference”
January 17, 2026 at 8:42 PM
Gentlemen: if a woman confides in you that she’s uncomfortable because a man (or more than one man) is hitting on her at a work conference, your response should never be “that must feel very validating” or “at least you know you’ve still got it” or “I wish women would hit on me at a conference”
[getting gas]
Would you like a car wash?
No.
Would you like a receipt?
No.
Would you like Larry inside the gas station to give you a nice wave?
No.
You sure you didn’t want that car wash?
Stop it.
I think I’m gonna print a receipt anyway, cool?
Smh
Would you like a car wash?
No.
Would you like a receipt?
No.
Would you like Larry inside the gas station to give you a nice wave?
No.
You sure you didn’t want that car wash?
Stop it.
I think I’m gonna print a receipt anyway, cool?
Smh
January 3, 2026 at 5:34 PM
[getting gas]
Would you like a car wash?
No.
Would you like a receipt?
No.
Would you like Larry inside the gas station to give you a nice wave?
No.
You sure you didn’t want that car wash?
Stop it.
I think I’m gonna print a receipt anyway, cool?
Smh
Would you like a car wash?
No.
Would you like a receipt?
No.
Would you like Larry inside the gas station to give you a nice wave?
No.
You sure you didn’t want that car wash?
Stop it.
I think I’m gonna print a receipt anyway, cool?
Smh
Wonder when the DJT VS. VENEZUELA 2026 t-shirts will launch on trumpmerch dot com
January 3, 2026 at 12:36 PM
Wonder when the DJT VS. VENEZUELA 2026 t-shirts will launch on trumpmerch dot com
If you know me at all, you know I was almost in tears when I walked in here 😭
December 21, 2025 at 4:22 PM
If you know me at all, you know I was almost in tears when I walked in here 😭
Fuck first class. The real power move is buying all the seats on your side of the aisle ✈️
December 3, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Fuck first class. The real power move is buying all the seats on your side of the aisle ✈️
If only there was a way to forward an email to someone else and cc: the person whose out of office message you got so that upon their return to the office, the person doesn’t have to try to figure out if you forwarded the email elsewhere
October 24, 2025 at 6:25 PM
If only there was a way to forward an email to someone else and cc: the person whose out of office message you got so that upon their return to the office, the person doesn’t have to try to figure out if you forwarded the email elsewhere
This week was my first time in Boston(!!!) and I got to go on a super cool tour of Fenway Park ⚾️
October 23, 2025 at 12:34 AM
This week was my first time in Boston(!!!) and I got to go on a super cool tour of Fenway Park ⚾️
It has just come to my attention that a word which was given to me in a spelling bee in 1991 was mispronounced. Is there a superhero who exacts vengeance in these types of scenarios?
October 18, 2025 at 12:55 PM
It has just come to my attention that a word which was given to me in a spelling bee in 1991 was mispronounced. Is there a superhero who exacts vengeance in these types of scenarios?
Reposted by betty
"the menswear guy isn't fair and balanced." do you even hear yourself?
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
September 25, 2025 at 11:53 PM
"the menswear guy isn't fair and balanced." do you even hear yourself?
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
"fork lady is eroding public confidence."
"ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field."
"lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability."
that's what you sound like.
I love that Comfrt sells mid sweats and their social media ads seem like they believe that no one’s ever seen sweats before
September 25, 2025 at 3:29 PM
I love that Comfrt sells mid sweats and their social media ads seem like they believe that no one’s ever seen sweats before
Hulu/Disney/whatever:
• cancelling Jimmy Kimmel (even though I don’t like him and you did bring him back) was a shit move
• then raising prices for no reason (or maybe because so many people cancelled their subscriptions?) was a shit move
• BUT LOGGING ME OUT OF ALL OF MY DEVICES?!
We are done
• cancelling Jimmy Kimmel (even though I don’t like him and you did bring him back) was a shit move
• then raising prices for no reason (or maybe because so many people cancelled their subscriptions?) was a shit move
• BUT LOGGING ME OUT OF ALL OF MY DEVICES?!
We are done
September 24, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Hulu/Disney/whatever:
• cancelling Jimmy Kimmel (even though I don’t like him and you did bring him back) was a shit move
• then raising prices for no reason (or maybe because so many people cancelled their subscriptions?) was a shit move
• BUT LOGGING ME OUT OF ALL OF MY DEVICES?!
We are done
• cancelling Jimmy Kimmel (even though I don’t like him and you did bring him back) was a shit move
• then raising prices for no reason (or maybe because so many people cancelled their subscriptions?) was a shit move
• BUT LOGGING ME OUT OF ALL OF MY DEVICES?!
We are done
If a Michigan answer is anything like a Michigan left, it goes too far, does a 180, and then has you turn the other way in order to get where you want to be
September 12, 2025 at 1:15 AM
If a Michigan answer is anything like a Michigan left, it goes too far, does a 180, and then has you turn the other way in order to get where you want to be
Heaven help you if you watch a couple episodes of a series on Prime. Every day, it’s an email that’s all HEY GIRL HEY YOU BETTER WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE IT’S LEGIT ON PRIME VIDEO RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR DUDE FOR REAL WATCH IT RIGHT NOW YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO
August 29, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Heaven help you if you watch a couple episodes of a series on Prime. Every day, it’s an email that’s all HEY GIRL HEY YOU BETTER WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE IT’S LEGIT ON PRIME VIDEO RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR DUDE FOR REAL WATCH IT RIGHT NOW YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO
I’m “randomly” selected for enhanced screening 80% of the time at the airport. The being diverted to go through the backscatter thingy and then the extra and INCREDIBLY unnecessary pat down that followed made the whole experience all the more special in KC yesterday 💕
August 29, 2025 at 8:02 PM
I’m “randomly” selected for enhanced screening 80% of the time at the airport. The being diverted to go through the backscatter thingy and then the extra and INCREDIBLY unnecessary pat down that followed made the whole experience all the more special in KC yesterday 💕
tbh, I kinda love hell pumpkin
August 24, 2025 at 1:03 AM
tbh, I kinda love hell pumpkin
Congratulations to the Boston Crusaders!!!!!!
August 10, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Congratulations to the Boston Crusaders!!!!!!
BRAND NEW FROM LULULEMON: IT’S ALL THE SAME STUFF, BUT IT’S IN DIFFERENT COLORS AND IT COSTS $50 MORE
August 7, 2025 at 12:16 AM
BRAND NEW FROM LULULEMON: IT’S ALL THE SAME STUFF, BUT IT’S IN DIFFERENT COLORS AND IT COSTS $50 MORE
Happy birthday to the 85 LinkedIn connections who have a birthday today. And congratulations to your parents who apparently REALLY enjoyed Halloween
July 31, 2025 at 10:58 AM
Happy birthday to the 85 LinkedIn connections who have a birthday today. And congratulations to your parents who apparently REALLY enjoyed Halloween
Bar soap is now “solid body wash”? We used to be a proper society
July 21, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Bar soap is now “solid body wash”? We used to be a proper society
FYI, @lecreuset.bsky.social customer service is the absolute best and their warranty process is simple, fast, and efficient ❤️
July 19, 2025 at 9:52 PM
FYI, @lecreuset.bsky.social customer service is the absolute best and their warranty process is simple, fast, and efficient ❤️