Wonder Park
@wonderpark.bsky.social
Welcome to Wonder Park! The best amusement park 35 minutes too far from you. Wonder Park; Half the Magic, Double the Price.
Hush-Hush Sightings: https://shorturl.at/9X96b
Hush-Hush Sightings: https://shorturl.at/9X96b
Pinned
Wonder Park
@wonderpark.bsky.social
· Mar 29
Under new management! Which is the same management two managements ago. Either way, WE’RE BACK BITCHES!
ITS NOT FOR SALE, STOP ASKING
Could you be more specific about the finger?
November 18, 2025 at 9:43 PM
ITS NOT FOR SALE, STOP ASKING
To the parents who left their child in the park overnight:
1. He’s fine
2. He ate a weeks supply of Deep Fried Mayo Cubs (we’ll bill you)
3. Was he always missing a finger?
1. He’s fine
2. He ate a weeks supply of Deep Fried Mayo Cubs (we’ll bill you)
3. Was he always missing a finger?
November 18, 2025 at 12:17 AM
To the parents who left their child in the park overnight:
1. He’s fine
2. He ate a weeks supply of Deep Fried Mayo Cubs (we’ll bill you)
3. Was he always missing a finger?
1. He’s fine
2. He ate a weeks supply of Deep Fried Mayo Cubs (we’ll bill you)
3. Was he always missing a finger?
Hush-Hush sighting in the tunnel that goes under the train tracks, take alternate routes.
November 16, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Hush-Hush sighting in the tunnel that goes under the train tracks, take alternate routes.
Uber has stopped picking up in front of the park because you people wouldn’t stop throwing up in the back seats on your way home. Hope you’re proud of yourselves.
November 15, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Uber has stopped picking up in front of the park because you people wouldn’t stop throwing up in the back seats on your way home. Hope you’re proud of yourselves.
Rain won’t stop our rollercoasters from running.
(No really, they won’t stop, the rain screws up the brakes)
(No really, they won’t stop, the rain screws up the brakes)
November 13, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Rain won’t stop our rollercoasters from running.
(No really, they won’t stop, the rain screws up the brakes)
(No really, they won’t stop, the rain screws up the brakes)
You legally cannot operate one of our rides unless you have a monster energy drink tattoo. We don’t make the rules.
November 10, 2025 at 10:03 PM
You legally cannot operate one of our rides unless you have a monster energy drink tattoo. We don’t make the rules.
Volunteers needed to “Push” the carousel in circles the rest of the day. New motor parts won’t be in till tomorrow. We pay in Deep Fried Mayo Cubes.
November 9, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Volunteers needed to “Push” the carousel in circles the rest of the day. New motor parts won’t be in till tomorrow. We pay in Deep Fried Mayo Cubes.
Our lawyer wants us to make clear that this post is in no way an admission of fault. It’s freakin’ Jonothons fault and he’s been perma-banned!
Christmas Tree going up today. Let’s not have a repeat of last year’s incident. We’re still paying that settlement.
November 8, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Our lawyer wants us to make clear that this post is in no way an admission of fault. It’s freakin’ Jonothons fault and he’s been perma-banned!
Christmas Tree going up today. Let’s not have a repeat of last year’s incident. We’re still paying that settlement.
November 8, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Christmas Tree going up today. Let’s not have a repeat of last year’s incident. We’re still paying that settlement.
Now taking applications for new acts for the freak show. Please keep it PG-13.
November 5, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Now taking applications for new acts for the freak show. Please keep it PG-13.
Great news! The arcade has been upgraded and now accepts coins. We will no longer accept teeth.
November 2, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Great news! The arcade has been upgraded and now accepts coins. We will no longer accept teeth.
We had a lot of candy left over so we gave it to the raccoons. Now they’ve taken over the carousel. We recommend avoiding that one today.
November 1, 2025 at 4:28 PM
We had a lot of candy left over so we gave it to the raccoons. Now they’ve taken over the carousel. We recommend avoiding that one today.
Today our employees are dressing up as people who care. Enjoy it while it lasts.
October 31, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Today our employees are dressing up as people who care. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Our lawyer wants to ban you from the park.
Shoes are required … you didn’t say we had to wear them on our feet. Loophole!
October 30, 2025 at 5:42 AM
Our lawyer wants to ban you from the park.
yes shoes are required AT ALL TIMES in the park. Stop asking ya nasties.
October 29, 2025 at 7:56 PM
yes shoes are required AT ALL TIMES in the park. Stop asking ya nasties.
Maybe we “relocate” the chewing gum to where the brakes should be and accomplish two things at once…
Even if it's just from the old brakes, chewing gum removal!
We’ve raised enough money to add one more feature to our rollercoaster. What would you like to see?
* Another loop
* Brakes
* Chewing gum removal
* Another loop
* Brakes
* Chewing gum removal
October 27, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Maybe we “relocate” the chewing gum to where the brakes should be and accomplish two things at once…
We’ve raised enough money to add one more feature to our rollercoaster. What would you like to see?
* Another loop
* Brakes
* Chewing gum removal
* Another loop
* Brakes
* Chewing gum removal
October 27, 2025 at 7:29 PM
We’ve raised enough money to add one more feature to our rollercoaster. What would you like to see?
* Another loop
* Brakes
* Chewing gum removal
* Another loop
* Brakes
* Chewing gum removal
And your ticket purchase is a full release of photo/video rights so it’s def going on our only fans!
You do realize we have cameras in the tunnel of love right?
October 26, 2025 at 8:34 PM
And your ticket purchase is a full release of photo/video rights so it’s def going on our only fans!
You do realize we have cameras in the tunnel of love right?
October 26, 2025 at 5:48 PM
You do realize we have cameras in the tunnel of love right?
To the people tailgating in the parking lot, it’s technically not allowed, but we’re willing to look the other way for a few beers.
October 25, 2025 at 6:33 PM
To the people tailgating in the parking lot, it’s technically not allowed, but we’re willing to look the other way for a few beers.
@dukesmayobowl.bsky.social do you sell in bulk?
October 23, 2025 at 11:34 PM
@dukesmayobowl.bsky.social do you sell in bulk?
Next week we will have two haunted houses open.
* An Evening with Hush-Hush. (No idea what that’s about)
* DMV After Dark
* An Evening with Hush-Hush. (No idea what that’s about)
* DMV After Dark
October 23, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Next week we will have two haunted houses open.
* An Evening with Hush-Hush. (No idea what that’s about)
* DMV After Dark
* An Evening with Hush-Hush. (No idea what that’s about)
* DMV After Dark
Please stop stuffing the prizes down your pants at the human claw machine. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.
October 23, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Please stop stuffing the prizes down your pants at the human claw machine. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.
Despite our best efforts it has turned into an official rave, so we are just going to roll with it.
Yes, the lights in the bathrooms are strobing uncontrollably. No, it’s not a pop-up rave.
October 22, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Despite our best efforts it has turned into an official rave, so we are just going to roll with it.