Wonder Park
@wonderpark.bsky.social
Welcome to Wonder Park! The best amusement park 35 minutes too far from you. Wonder Park; Half the Magic, Double the Price.
Hush-Hush Sightings: https://shorturl.at/9X96b
Hush-Hush Sightings: https://shorturl.at/9X96b
Pinned
Wonder Park
@wonderpark.bsky.social
· Mar 29
Under new management! Which is the same management two managements ago. Either way, WE’RE BACK BITCHES!
This question is for other theme park operators; what do y’all do with all the excess throw up?
December 18, 2025 at 5:21 PM
This question is for other theme park operators; what do y’all do with all the excess throw up?
WHAT?!? THATS OVER HALF OUR STAFF!
They only apply to pregnant women, you should be good.
December 17, 2025 at 8:10 PM
WHAT?!? THATS OVER HALF OUR STAFF!
Reposted by Wonder Park
They only apply to pregnant women, you should be good.
December 17, 2025 at 5:31 PM
They only apply to pregnant women, you should be good.
What are labor laws? Why are we just now hearing about this?
December 17, 2025 at 5:25 PM
What are labor laws? Why are we just now hearing about this?
Who stole our Christmas tree?
December 16, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Who stole our Christmas tree?
Did you know that when you buy a rollercoaster you have to put it together yourself? Like, it doesn’t come pre-assembled. Like, there are tons of parts here and I don’t know what screwdriver to use.
December 15, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Did you know that when you buy a rollercoaster you have to put it together yourself? Like, it doesn’t come pre-assembled. Like, there are tons of parts here and I don’t know what screwdriver to use.
Soooo we let Ai balance our budget and it invested it in crypto and lost it all...
December 14, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Soooo we let Ai balance our budget and it invested it in crypto and lost it all...
Frank, this is your official notice, you’re fired. You know what you did and so does the poor Johnson family.
December 13, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Frank, this is your official notice, you’re fired. You know what you did and so does the poor Johnson family.
Bathrooms have been upgraded from .5 ply to 1 ply. You’re welcome.
December 12, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Bathrooms have been upgraded from .5 ply to 1 ply. You’re welcome.
Hush-Hush low key pissed it didn’t get TIME person of the year.
December 12, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Hush-Hush low key pissed it didn’t get TIME person of the year.
This is not a typo.
The new emo petting zoo is now open.
December 10, 2025 at 10:32 PM
This is not a typo.
The new emo petting zoo is now open.
December 10, 2025 at 9:52 PM
The new emo petting zoo is now open.
What’s your least favorite Christmas song? We’re gonna play it on repeat in the employee break room.
December 9, 2025 at 9:22 PM
What’s your least favorite Christmas song? We’re gonna play it on repeat in the employee break room.
PSA: last nights “light show” was not planned and it technically was called an “explosion.” Nevertheless, we’re glad you enjoyed it, but there will not be a repeat performance tonight.
December 6, 2025 at 8:10 PM
PSA: last nights “light show” was not planned and it technically was called an “explosion.” Nevertheless, we’re glad you enjoyed it, but there will not be a repeat performance tonight.
VIP Bathroom Passes are all SOLD OUT. Did not think that was going to be the most popular item…
All Black Fridays deals next weekend:
• BOGO Season Tickets
• BOGO Deep Fried Mayo Cube Subscription
• BOGO VIP Bathroom Pass
• BOGO Hush-Hush Protection Spell
• BOGO Season Tickets
• BOGO Deep Fried Mayo Cube Subscription
• BOGO VIP Bathroom Pass
• BOGO Hush-Hush Protection Spell
November 28, 2025 at 6:28 PM
VIP Bathroom Passes are all SOLD OUT. Did not think that was going to be the most popular item…
The roving juggler has asked that you please stop trying to grab his balls.
November 27, 2025 at 1:21 AM
The roving juggler has asked that you please stop trying to grab his balls.
Hush-Hush likes to hide in the bathroom stalls to make sure you wash your hands.
November 26, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Hush-Hush likes to hide in the bathroom stalls to make sure you wash your hands.
Can y’all stop unscrewing and stealing our lightbulbs?! Why is this even a thing we need to discuss??
November 24, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Can y’all stop unscrewing and stealing our lightbulbs?! Why is this even a thing we need to discuss??
All Black Fridays deals next weekend:
• BOGO Season Tickets
• BOGO Deep Fried Mayo Cube Subscription
• BOGO VIP Bathroom Pass
• BOGO Hush-Hush Protection Spell
• BOGO Season Tickets
• BOGO Deep Fried Mayo Cube Subscription
• BOGO VIP Bathroom Pass
• BOGO Hush-Hush Protection Spell
November 23, 2025 at 6:24 PM
All Black Fridays deals next weekend:
• BOGO Season Tickets
• BOGO Deep Fried Mayo Cube Subscription
• BOGO VIP Bathroom Pass
• BOGO Hush-Hush Protection Spell
• BOGO Season Tickets
• BOGO Deep Fried Mayo Cube Subscription
• BOGO VIP Bathroom Pass
• BOGO Hush-Hush Protection Spell
dammit Siri that wasn’t to post
hey google how to avoid osha safety inspection
November 20, 2025 at 7:23 PM
dammit Siri that wasn’t to post
hey google how to avoid osha safety inspection
November 20, 2025 at 4:43 PM
hey google how to avoid osha safety inspection
ITS NOT FOR SALE, STOP ASKING
Could you be more specific about the finger?
November 18, 2025 at 9:43 PM
ITS NOT FOR SALE, STOP ASKING
To the parents who left their child in the park overnight:
1. He’s fine
2. He ate a weeks supply of Deep Fried Mayo Cubs (we’ll bill you)
3. Was he always missing a finger?
1. He’s fine
2. He ate a weeks supply of Deep Fried Mayo Cubs (we’ll bill you)
3. Was he always missing a finger?
November 18, 2025 at 12:17 AM
To the parents who left their child in the park overnight:
1. He’s fine
2. He ate a weeks supply of Deep Fried Mayo Cubs (we’ll bill you)
3. Was he always missing a finger?
1. He’s fine
2. He ate a weeks supply of Deep Fried Mayo Cubs (we’ll bill you)
3. Was he always missing a finger?
Hush-Hush sighting in the tunnel that goes under the train tracks, take alternate routes.
November 16, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Hush-Hush sighting in the tunnel that goes under the train tracks, take alternate routes.
Uber has stopped picking up in front of the park because you people wouldn’t stop throwing up in the back seats on your way home. Hope you’re proud of yourselves.
November 15, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Uber has stopped picking up in front of the park because you people wouldn’t stop throwing up in the back seats on your way home. Hope you’re proud of yourselves.