Jacob Evans
@vumpire.bsky.social
Borned on a mountaintop in Tennessee. Hair black as coal, lips red as the rose. Cheerful in all weathers. Fast n bulbous.
Diggin thru the archives
December 14, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Diggin thru the archives
Instead of thinking of Abraham Lincoln as Our Tallest President why not think of him as Our Longest
December 13, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Instead of thinking of Abraham Lincoln as Our Tallest President why not think of him as Our Longest
This is the kind of stuff I'm into
December 12, 2025 at 2:57 AM
This is the kind of stuff I'm into
Did Cindy Crawford's son misunderstand a face tattoo, or *get* a misunderstood face tattoo? Also: very egotistical of Chrissie Hynde to name her daughter "Chrissie Hynde's Daughter"
December 10, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Did Cindy Crawford's son misunderstand a face tattoo, or *get* a misunderstood face tattoo? Also: very egotistical of Chrissie Hynde to name her daughter "Chrissie Hynde's Daughter"
Love this picture of JJ Cale with Leon Russell looking like a vaguely threatening muppet
December 10, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Love this picture of JJ Cale with Leon Russell looking like a vaguely threatening muppet
"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a...juicy and delicious roasted chicken???'
December 9, 2025 at 5:03 PM
"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a...juicy and delicious roasted chicken???'
The Mavericks were a strange group for Garth-Era 90s country: they had a decidedly throwback aesthetic, with an approach that suggested a deeper & wider set of influences than their more successful contemporaries. They had hits, but should have been bigger. RIP Raul Malo
youtu.be/fKdk6mOGP3s?...
youtu.be/fKdk6mOGP3s?...
The Mavericks - Oh What A Thrill
YouTube video by MrChriskopa
youtu.be
December 9, 2025 at 3:38 PM
The Mavericks were a strange group for Garth-Era 90s country: they had a decidedly throwback aesthetic, with an approach that suggested a deeper & wider set of influences than their more successful contemporaries. They had hits, but should have been bigger. RIP Raul Malo
youtu.be/fKdk6mOGP3s?...
youtu.be/fKdk6mOGP3s?...
Night Falls on Taco Bell
December 9, 2025 at 11:29 AM
Night Falls on Taco Bell
How have they not made some shitty Grinch movie where the little girl from the first movie comes back to a fucked-up Whoville & everybody is like You're The Chosen One, You're The Grinchslayer. It basically writes itself.
December 8, 2025 at 4:00 AM
How have they not made some shitty Grinch movie where the little girl from the first movie comes back to a fucked-up Whoville & everybody is like You're The Chosen One, You're The Grinchslayer. It basically writes itself.
Hearing Orson Welles say "they have a Wimpy's on the Champs-Élysées" is a thing of beauty
youtube.com/shorts/HUj5U...
youtube.com/shorts/HUj5U...
🍔 Oliver Reed and Orson Welles discuss the merits of American-style burgers.
YouTube video by Scene and Heard
youtube.com
December 6, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Hearing Orson Welles say "they have a Wimpy's on the Champs-Élysées" is a thing of beauty
youtube.com/shorts/HUj5U...
youtube.com/shorts/HUj5U...
I do believe this, but not how you might think
December 4, 2025 at 2:43 AM
I do believe this, but not how you might think
Remembering the time in 1999 when my 13 year old brother, who looked exactly like Bobby Hill, told me--with the sass and attitude he learned from watching 25 hours of wrestling a week--to "stay out of [his] biznass"
December 2, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Remembering the time in 1999 when my 13 year old brother, who looked exactly like Bobby Hill, told me--with the sass and attitude he learned from watching 25 hours of wrestling a week--to "stay out of [his] biznass"
Celebrity sighting at circle k
December 1, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Celebrity sighting at circle k
Had some business with a locksmith earlier, a member of an ancient and honorable guild
November 30, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Had some business with a locksmith earlier, a member of an ancient and honorable guild
Wrote this some time ago about Astral Weeks, released on this day 57 years ago:
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/1806456...
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/1806456...
hyenabutter.tumblr.com
November 30, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Wrote this some time ago about Astral Weeks, released on this day 57 years ago:
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/1806456...
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/1806456...
Once again it looks just like this outside
November 29, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Once again it looks just like this outside
Ceci n'est pas une handyman
November 25, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Ceci n'est pas une handyman
New character I'm work shopping: Fat Serpico
November 25, 2025 at 2:39 AM
New character I'm work shopping: Fat Serpico
Bit of a butterface tbh
November 24, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Bit of a butterface tbh
The absolutely embarrassing, private shit people will loudly discuss in the store is incredible. Just once in my life I wish I could be so free.
November 22, 2025 at 2:56 AM
The absolutely embarrassing, private shit people will loudly discuss in the store is incredible. Just once in my life I wish I could be so free.
At 8 o'clock this morning, without my asking, a guy wearing this shirt, with a pistol in a shoulder holster, told me about how he was being sued by his mother for ownership of a truck she bought him, and that he was trying to get her rabbi to talk some sense into her. "Wish me luck," he said.
November 21, 2025 at 2:08 AM
At 8 o'clock this morning, without my asking, a guy wearing this shirt, with a pistol in a shoulder holster, told me about how he was being sued by his mother for ownership of a truck she bought him, and that he was trying to get her rabbi to talk some sense into her. "Wish me luck," he said.
Poem on his birthday
November 18, 2025 at 5:19 AM
Poem on his birthday