Vapid Chuckles
@vapidchuckles.bsky.social
Super Bowl Ad Pitch:
Kendall Jenner walks up to federal agents and extends out a Pepsi.
ICE guns her down and starts yelling orders at her lifeless body.
The scene fades to black as Kristi Noem announces Pepsi protestors are paid terrorists.
Narrator: “Drink Coke. Don’t be a hero.”
Kendall Jenner walks up to federal agents and extends out a Pepsi.
ICE guns her down and starts yelling orders at her lifeless body.
The scene fades to black as Kristi Noem announces Pepsi protestors are paid terrorists.
Narrator: “Drink Coke. Don’t be a hero.”
February 8, 2026 at 6:52 PM
Super Bowl Ad Pitch:
Kendall Jenner walks up to federal agents and extends out a Pepsi.
ICE guns her down and starts yelling orders at her lifeless body.
The scene fades to black as Kristi Noem announces Pepsi protestors are paid terrorists.
Narrator: “Drink Coke. Don’t be a hero.”
Kendall Jenner walks up to federal agents and extends out a Pepsi.
ICE guns her down and starts yelling orders at her lifeless body.
The scene fades to black as Kristi Noem announces Pepsi protestors are paid terrorists.
Narrator: “Drink Coke. Don’t be a hero.”
Reposted by Vapid Chuckles
Death Camp For Cutie over here
February 6, 2026 at 4:27 AM
Death Camp For Cutie over here
Bill Gates likes his software like he likes his girls: under-developed and prone to Russian viruses.
February 7, 2026 at 5:27 PM
Bill Gates likes his software like he likes his girls: under-developed and prone to Russian viruses.
If you made a country from scratch in the ideal image of how American government was taught in schools—and you saw that country’s executive leadership behaving like ours—you’d expect their congress to be holding impeachment hearings everyday until their government was replaced with adults.
February 6, 2026 at 5:13 AM
If you made a country from scratch in the ideal image of how American government was taught in schools—and you saw that country’s executive leadership behaving like ours—you’d expect their congress to be holding impeachment hearings everyday until their government was replaced with adults.
Expecting Ezra Klein’s next op-ed to drop any day now: “ICE is Practicing Law Enforcement the Right Way”
January 25, 2026 at 10:45 PM
Expecting Ezra Klein’s next op-ed to drop any day now: “ICE is Practicing Law Enforcement the Right Way”
“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. Execute them and claim self-defense.”
- Kristi Noem
- Kristi Noem
January 25, 2026 at 10:57 AM
“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. Execute them and claim self-defense.”
- Kristi Noem
- Kristi Noem
If you’re on a warm beach somewhere next to Ted Cruz, while Texas is freezing and without power, and think he’s happy to see you, it’s actually just his tail tucked between his legs.
January 22, 2026 at 1:47 AM
If you’re on a warm beach somewhere next to Ted Cruz, while Texas is freezing and without power, and think he’s happy to see you, it’s actually just his tail tucked between his legs.
You’re telling me I’m drinking camel meal tea?
January 21, 2026 at 4:01 AM
You’re telling me I’m drinking camel meal tea?
How do we have the most openly bribe-able and pathetically vain man for a president?
January 16, 2026 at 6:22 AM
How do we have the most openly bribe-able and pathetically vain man for a president?
What is the Venezuelan version of the Taliban, and how do I buy stock? Want to get in on the ground floor.
January 5, 2026 at 5:03 PM
What is the Venezuelan version of the Taliban, and how do I buy stock? Want to get in on the ground floor.
Is it too much to hope for a respectable country to come run the US government until a safe transition can take place?
January 3, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Is it too much to hope for a respectable country to come run the US government until a safe transition can take place?
Have you ever imagined something so deeply arousing that you can’t stop thinking about it? Anyhow, it’s been over a decade and my conservative family still can’t help mentioning that Michelle Obama is trans and that Barack Obama is in a satanic gay marriage.
December 28, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Have you ever imagined something so deeply arousing that you can’t stop thinking about it? Anyhow, it’s been over a decade and my conservative family still can’t help mentioning that Michelle Obama is trans and that Barack Obama is in a satanic gay marriage.
The new Apple iOS sucks. Taking away visual clarity and introducing additional taps and steps to complete the same previous basic functions is a downgrade.
December 12, 2025 at 3:09 PM
The new Apple iOS sucks. Taking away visual clarity and introducing additional taps and steps to complete the same previous basic functions is a downgrade.
We can’t have socialism because only capitalism can produce a society that asks the innovative questions, such as “how can we run for-profit women’s shelters in a way that thinks about the shareholders first?”
December 11, 2025 at 5:31 AM
We can’t have socialism because only capitalism can produce a society that asks the innovative questions, such as “how can we run for-profit women’s shelters in a way that thinks about the shareholders first?”
Naming your new baby girl “Tula” is unique and nice, but what’s even better is knowing her full legal first name is “Tarantula”
December 3, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Naming your new baby girl “Tula” is unique and nice, but what’s even better is knowing her full legal first name is “Tarantula”
“You can train a dog on any cue. Like I can say ‘avada kedavra’ and she’ll play dead. Oh, for like everyday stuff? Yeah so for ‘go to the bathroom’, I just sharply bark ‘HURRY UP’ at her. Just repeat it faster and louder and angrier each time, just like ‘HURRY UP, HURRY UP, HURRY THE FUCK UP!”
November 25, 2025 at 5:38 AM
“You can train a dog on any cue. Like I can say ‘avada kedavra’ and she’ll play dead. Oh, for like everyday stuff? Yeah so for ‘go to the bathroom’, I just sharply bark ‘HURRY UP’ at her. Just repeat it faster and louder and angrier each time, just like ‘HURRY UP, HURRY UP, HURRY THE FUCK UP!”
Seeing F1 cars finally dust off and put on full wet tires: “Maybe I’ve been too hard on myself, perhaps I also have an unrealized purpose in life”
November 22, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Seeing F1 cars finally dust off and put on full wet tires: “Maybe I’ve been too hard on myself, perhaps I also have an unrealized purpose in life”
Oh my god—in between assaulting minors who were sex trafficked to a remote island—two adult-age males may have consented to posing for a blowie photo? They ain’t ever going to live that down! That shit is GAAAAAAAAY!
November 17, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Oh my god—in between assaulting minors who were sex trafficked to a remote island—two adult-age males may have consented to posing for a blowie photo? They ain’t ever going to live that down! That shit is GAAAAAAAAY!
A House of Dynamite = A Film of False Dichotomy
November 16, 2025 at 5:44 AM
A House of Dynamite = A Film of False Dichotomy
It’s one month’s health insurance premium, Michael. What could it cost, $10,000?
November 14, 2025 at 8:37 PM
It’s one month’s health insurance premium, Michael. What could it cost, $10,000?
At least, at any moment, I could just give up and cave on my principles without being the reason tens of millions of Americans can no longer afford to have health care. So, in a way—you could say—I am fortunate.
November 11, 2025 at 3:50 AM
At least, at any moment, I could just give up and cave on my principles without being the reason tens of millions of Americans can no longer afford to have health care. So, in a way—you could say—I am fortunate.
You know the devil got his rizz turned up to eleven today to welcome Dick Cheney
November 5, 2025 at 4:44 AM
You know the devil got his rizz turned up to eleven today to welcome Dick Cheney
To be fair, I also think the government owes me $230 million
October 24, 2025 at 1:05 AM
To be fair, I also think the government owes me $230 million
Portland: “Hellhole”
Chicago: “Hellhole”
Los Angeles: “Hellhole”
New York: “Hellhole”
Mar-A-segregated golf club trafficking minors-Lago: “Beautiful”
Chicago: “Hellhole”
Los Angeles: “Hellhole”
New York: “Hellhole”
Mar-A-segregated golf club trafficking minors-Lago: “Beautiful”
October 14, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Portland: “Hellhole”
Chicago: “Hellhole”
Los Angeles: “Hellhole”
New York: “Hellhole”
Mar-A-segregated golf club trafficking minors-Lago: “Beautiful”
Chicago: “Hellhole”
Los Angeles: “Hellhole”
New York: “Hellhole”
Mar-A-segregated golf club trafficking minors-Lago: “Beautiful”
NIMBYs: 1) Why don’t you go build the homeless shelter near the homeless people’s houses instead of near my house? 2) Please hurry up and do something about all the homeless people in and around my neighborhood.
October 12, 2025 at 8:49 PM
NIMBYs: 1) Why don’t you go build the homeless shelter near the homeless people’s houses instead of near my house? 2) Please hurry up and do something about all the homeless people in and around my neighborhood.