Tristan Olson
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tristanolson.bsky.social
Tristan Olson
@tristanolson.bsky.social
190 followers 34 following 790 posts
Author and occasional poster of funny things.

www.tristanolsonbooks.com
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tristanolson.bsky.social
Try as they might to tone down the problematic aspects of the Phantom in the modern comics, one place that is still super behind the times is the model kits in the clearance section of local hobby stores. cc: @jfruh.bsky.social
The box for a model kit of the comic strip character "The Phantom." This one comes with a "voodoo wit h doctor" jumping around with a huge mask and a skull on a stick.
December 9, 2025 at 3:39 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.
December 8, 2025 at 1:56 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Kind of silly, but a role of his I've always loved was as Don Johnson's boss in the first 2 seasons of Nash Bridges. He wasn't a hard ass or ineffective, he was an awesome guy in a position of authority that believed in doing the right thing. Not a lot of roles for Asian actors like that in the 90s.
The cast of the first season of Nash Bridges. From left to right: Jaime P. Gomez, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Jeff Perry
December 5, 2025 at 5:26 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
I fucking hate this country. We can't just have healthcare or free education, we have to force parents to make money for the ultra-wealthy by gambling on the chance of being able to provide for their children.
A paragraph from an article. The text is: The enormous pledge will go toward funding “Trump Accounts,” which will provide parents an investment account to manage on behalf of their children. The “Trump Accounts” were proposed this summer as part of President Donald Trump’s “One Big Beautiful Bill Act” and are set to launch in 2026.
December 2, 2025 at 4:01 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
My local independent book shop had blind date books. I saw this and immediately knew what it was. Score!
@kashana.blacksky.app
A book completely wrapped in brown paper. It has the handwritten words "adult fiction; debt/student loans; revenge; Power, race, and class" in black felt pen as well as a pair of sunglasses drawn on it The cover of the novel "The Payback" by Kasha a Cauley in the partially unwrapped brown paper from the first image
November 29, 2025 at 10:59 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
An image of Bluey, an anthropomorphic cartoon dog from the cartoon "Bluey". She is sitting at an electronic keyboard (the music kind, not the typing kind) with the caption: PLAYFUL MUSIC STOPS
November 26, 2025 at 8:59 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
An image of a very surprised woman often used in memes. In the original she's saying "Beyonce?!" but in this image she's saying "The Death Star?!"
November 26, 2025 at 4:53 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Really neat of him to put that little unnecessary point in the word balloon tail so it's even harder to tell who's talking.

I guess it's better than when he has the tails writhing around each other.
A panel from 9 Chickweed Lane.
November 24, 2025 at 10:46 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Dang. I posted this last night and should have waited a day.
A comic strip based off of the television show "Bluey." It is recreating the opening theme, where four anthropomorphic dogs dance in a blue background. In the first panel, three of the dogs are pointing at the mother dog, who has the word "mum" over her. In the second panel, three dogs are pointing at the father dog, who has the word "dad" over him. In the third panel, suddenly Tom Servo from the television show Mystery Science Theater 3000 is hovering in the middle of the panel. He is a res robot made out of a gumball machine. He has the words "Tom Servo" floating over him. The dogs look surprised and alarmed. In the final panel, Crow T Robot from Mystery Science Theater 3000 has also joined in, he is a gold robot made out of a bowling pin, athletic wire mask, and other stuff, and he is practically popping out of the panel at the viewer. The word "Croooow!" floats over him. The dogs just look confused now.
November 24, 2025 at 3:53 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
#Comics #Bluey #MST3k
A comic strip based off of the television show "Bluey." It is recreating the opening theme, where four anthropomorphic dogs dance in a blue background. In the first panel, three of the dogs are pointing at the mother dog, who has the word "mum" over her. In the second panel, three dogs are pointing at the father dog, who has the word "dad" over him. In the third panel, suddenly Tom Servo from the television show Mystery Science Theater 3000 is hovering in the middle of the panel. He is a res robot made out of a gumball machine. He has the words "Tom Servo" floating over him. The dogs look surprised and alarmed. In the final panel, Crow T Robot from Mystery Science Theater 3000 has also joined in, he is a gold robot made out of a bowling pin, athletic wire mask, and other stuff, and he is practically popping out of the panel at the viewer. The word "Croooow!" floats over him. The dogs just look confused now.
November 24, 2025 at 5:18 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
I'm trying to figure out if "nearly" here is a typo and is supposed to say either "yearly" or maybe "nearby" or if this is some weird dig at the quality of the fair. Like, it doesn't qualify as a county fair, but is above a town fair.
A panel from the comic strip Dick Tracy in which a clown is chasing two people in roach costumes while spraying them with a giant novelty can. A text box reads "Sheriff Somners and I saw Ozob's clown act at the nearly county fair. It was getting late so I took my family home."
November 22, 2025 at 4:56 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
My personal favorite.
A man standing in his driveway with a partially destroyed flag and the words "Blacks Rule" spray painted on the pavement. He claimed someone else had done it.
November 19, 2025 at 11:47 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
There really is only one playbook.
A photo of Bill and Hillary Clinton dancing together in swimsuits on a beach in the US Virgin Islands in 1998. The photo was taken and released shortly before the Lewinsky scandal broke.
November 16, 2025 at 4:39 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
A picture of the comic strip character "Heathcliff" an orange cat who is known for nonsensical comics involving ham.
November 1, 2025 at 1:19 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
I went to the National Gallery and was really struck by how much Andrew Cuomo reminds me of Quentin Matsys' "The Ugly Duchess" and now you all have to see it too.
A picture of sex pest, former NY governor, closet Republican, casual senior citizen murderer and all around POS Andrew Cuomo. He's kinda frowning and wearing a suit. Honestly if you don't know what he looks like you're lucky and I'm not going to be the one to describe him to you. If you really want to know what he looks like ask a trusted friend and maybe they'll help out. A picture of Flemish painter Quentin Matsys' "The Ugly Duchess." It's a painting from 1513. It's a wrinkled old woman in medieval garb. She's got a silly hat thing with a big brooch or medallion and a white train. She's wearing some kind of low-cut dirndl-ish dress that looks too tight. In my opinion Andrew Cuomo kind of resembles her.
October 26, 2025 at 10:05 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Hi and Lois have the Jeff and Gina Dabe dynamic.
Two pictures. The first is of Jeff Dave and his wife Gina sitting together. Jeff is famous for his large hands and forearms. Nicknamed "Popeye" Jeff is a machine operator and arm wrestler with fingers that are over four inches in circumference. The second picture is a close up of his wife's face from the first picture. She is smiling in a way that could be considered suggestive if your mind is as broken as the rest of ours.
October 20, 2025 at 2:57 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
A picture of the late actor, writer, director, and sculptor (among other things) Paul Sorvino, known for roles in Goodfellas, Law & Order, Romeo + Juliet, The Rocketeer, Nixon, Reds, and The Cooler. A picture of actress Mira Sorvino. She is known for roles in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, Summer of Sam, Mimic, Quiz Show, and The Replacement Killers. She graduated magna cum laude from Harvard with a degree in East Asian Studies and was UN goodwill ambassador for combating human trafficking.
October 14, 2025 at 2:42 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
One minor but regular irritation in my life is that "Don't ask again" on this site actually means "reduce."

Also since it seems to require this every time I sign in, I'm going to have to call BS on "reducing."
A screenshot from a website. There is a checkbox for "Don't ask again on this device". The tooltip is selected, showing "Selecting 'Don't ask again on this device' reduces the number of times you are asked to provide one time passcodes to MySchoolBucks.'"
October 13, 2025 at 3:15 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
A meme of an old Batman comic where Batman is slapping Robin. Robin is saying "What you fail to see Mr. Pope-" and Batman is saying "That's 'Your Holiness!'"
October 5, 2025 at 10:04 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Looking back, Airborne proudly marketing itself as "created by a schoolteacher" and not a virologist or an immunologist was an important warning sign that America had turned away from listening to actual experts.
A picture of the original Airborne package. It is zesty orange flavor. It's a dietary supplement. It has an asterisked "helps support your immune system". It shows people on some kind of transportation, probably an airplane. Most importantly, it features the phrase "Created by a school teacher".
October 1, 2025 at 6:57 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Okay but that's clearly an orb weaver.
The title still of a trailer for a videogame called "Huntsman" which features a giant spider that is definitely not a huntsman spider.
September 30, 2025 at 2:45 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Coincidentally, a couple bags of these are some of the Legos she got for me.
Four flat 1x2 Lego tiles. They are a transparent light blue, and have koi fish printed on them.
September 19, 2025 at 2:46 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Damian Lewis as a detective that spent 12 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit. Comes back to the LAPD while secretly investigating the murder he was framed for and uncovering a vast conspiracy. Weird, funny, brutal.
The cover of the first season DVD set of the television show "Life". Damian Lewis is wearing a suit and dangling his feet in a pool. Sarah Shahi crouches over a dead body. L.A. is in the background.
September 13, 2025 at 2:27 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Although I agree with this message at my daughter's school, I'm not sure why it's being delivered by a feline Unabomber.
A picture taken of a wall mounted monitor in a middle school lunchroom. It has the words "You're only as cool as you treat people" and features a drawing of a cat in sunglasses and a hoody that strongly resembles the old FBI sketch of the unabomber from the 1980s. An FBI sketch of the unabomber from 1987. A man with a thin mustache wearing sunglasses and a hoody.
September 10, 2025 at 3:41 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
The runner ups. Runners up? Whatever.
A meme of Drake where is avoiding "Responding with a new diss track" but liking "Calling your lawyer." A Simpsons meme where Moe is throwing Barney out of the bar. Moe is labelled "Hitting the 'fewer like this' button" and Barney is labelled "Google news alerts about pro wrestling." In the third panel, Barney is back inside the bar. A meme where a member of the Brotherhood of Steel from Fallout is shooting a laser over Elon Musk's head labelled "People like Elon Musk are bad" while Elon Musk says "Wow!! Cool power armor!!!"
August 31, 2025 at 3:46 AM