Transmetropolitan Headlines In Real Life
@transmet-irl.bsky.social
Collecting real news headlines that look like they came from the strangely prescient post-cyberpunk pages of Transmetropolitan.
Fan account managed by Z. Mann Zilla (@pandangit.com)
Fan account managed by Z. Mann Zilla (@pandangit.com)
Next on SPKF: THIS Asshole.
Remember what happened after "let them eat cake"?
What'cha suppose should follow from "don't let yourself eat a cookie"?
To anyone tossing around that old "eat the rich" chestnut, here's a pro-tip: it's more effective if you're holding a carving board instead of a menu.
Remember what happened after "let them eat cake"?
What'cha suppose should follow from "don't let yourself eat a cookie"?
To anyone tossing around that old "eat the rich" chestnut, here's a pro-tip: it's more effective if you're holding a carving board instead of a menu.
“You don’t have to try every cookie on the holiday table,” wrote Mehmet Oz in an email to all Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services staffers.
Dr. Oz Tells His Federal Employees to Eat Less
“You don’t have to try every cookie on the holiday table,” wrote Mehmet Oz in an email to all Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services staffers.
wrd.cm
December 13, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Next on SPKF: THIS Asshole.
Remember what happened after "let them eat cake"?
What'cha suppose should follow from "don't let yourself eat a cookie"?
To anyone tossing around that old "eat the rich" chestnut, here's a pro-tip: it's more effective if you're holding a carving board instead of a menu.
Remember what happened after "let them eat cake"?
What'cha suppose should follow from "don't let yourself eat a cookie"?
To anyone tossing around that old "eat the rich" chestnut, here's a pro-tip: it's more effective if you're holding a carving board instead of a menu.
I started this account as a way of joking about how so many real-world headlines are becoming as crazy as the fictional ones from Transmet.
But this IRL version of the Beast literally talks like Transmet's traits are an actual thing that exists - AND is framing it like it's a bad thing?!
But this IRL version of the Beast literally talks like Transmet's traits are an actual thing that exists - AND is framing it like it's a bad thing?!
Trump: "Transgender for every member of your family. If they're not feeling well that night, let's just change their sex."
December 10, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I started this account as a way of joking about how so many real-world headlines are becoming as crazy as the fictional ones from Transmet.
But this IRL version of the Beast literally talks like Transmet's traits are an actual thing that exists - AND is framing it like it's a bad thing?!
But this IRL version of the Beast literally talks like Transmet's traits are an actual thing that exists - AND is framing it like it's a bad thing?!
Up next on Amfeed: Secretary Of State Declares A Font "Wasteful Diversity"
What a Helveticunt.
What a Helveticunt.
Marco Rubio ordered diplomats to return to using Times New Roman font in official communications, calling his predecessor's decision to adopt Calibri a “wasteful” diversity move
Rubio Stages Font Coup: Times New Roman Ousts Calibri
The secretary of state called it a "wasteful" diversity move, according to an internal department cable seen by Reuters.
www.huffpost.com
December 10, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Up next on Amfeed: Secretary Of State Declares A Font "Wasteful Diversity"
What a Helveticunt.
What a Helveticunt.
Finally, science makes itself useful.
Lab-grown penises are on the horizon, scientists say
Growing the organ from a patient's own cells would decrease the risk of rejection.
www.washingtonpost.com
December 6, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Finally, science makes itself useful.
Thank you for your service, ham sniffers.
Think Santa Is Busy? Ham Sniffers Are Pushing Their Noses to the Limit
Christmas is the busy season for scent experts at Cinco Jotas, a 142-year-old company in Jabugo, Spain, who take whiffs of pork to determine whether the meat passes muster. ‘I will find a way to sniff...
www.wsj.com
December 6, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Thank you for your service, ham sniffers.
"Surprising"?
Japan’s bear meat vending machine proves a surprising success
The machine in the northern prefecture of Akita sells locally killed wild bear captured by local hunters
www.theguardian.com
December 6, 2025 at 8:36 AM
"Surprising"?
Reposted by Transmetropolitan Headlines In Real Life
Been threatening to do this for a while, and I finally did: my "Transmetropolitan Headlines In Real Life" account is now on Bluesky.
Be sure to tag it with any (REAL, NOT PARODY/FAKE) headlines that look like they were torn from the pages of Transmet!
Be sure to tag it with any (REAL, NOT PARODY/FAKE) headlines that look like they were torn from the pages of Transmet!
Follows this account if:
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
December 6, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Been threatening to do this for a while, and I finally did: my "Transmetropolitan Headlines In Real Life" account is now on Bluesky.
Be sure to tag it with any (REAL, NOT PARODY/FAKE) headlines that look like they were torn from the pages of Transmet!
Be sure to tag it with any (REAL, NOT PARODY/FAKE) headlines that look like they were torn from the pages of Transmet!
An oldie but a goldie: uk.pcmag.com/pokemon-go/8...
Swedish sex pig couple shoots laser at Pokemon Go players
Putting the poke in Pokemon
uk.pcmag.com
December 6, 2025 at 1:30 AM
An oldie but a goldie: uk.pcmag.com/pokemon-go/8...
Follows this account if:
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
December 6, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Follows this account if:
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
Next on SPKF:
"Soon, CNN will run live odds on world events where its viewers can gamble on them in real time on their smartphones."
CNN Partners With a Gambling App That Lets You Wager on Starvation in Gaza
The app company’s two biggest investors are also heavily invested in the Israeli military.
truthout.org
December 6, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Next on SPKF: