alexis
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alexis
@transistance.us
480 followers 850 following 1.3K posts
This Machine Kills Fascists
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Err… ye-yes! That is… uhh… that’s exactly what we are up to! Oh, but GOSH DARN IT, you figured us out! Your only choice is to eliminate the electoral college completely! That would really stick it to us. Trust me, we would definitely hate that, definitely!
A post from Donald Trump in Truth Social that says: “The Democrats are fighting hard to get rid of the Popular Vote in future Elections. They want all future Presidential Elections to be based exclusively on the Electoral College!”
December 10, 2024 at 3:51 PM
Progress so far on my first attempt at whittling (it’s supposed to be a basic knife lol)
A picture of a Victorinox 7 Tool Swiss Army knife with alox scales, and a work in progress of a knife whittled out of a branch of wood.
November 17, 2024 at 6:36 PM
I attempted homemade peanut butter! It tastes good and is incredibly tedious to make when you’ve got a shit food processor!

Next attempt: homemade grape and strawberry jam
An open mason jar filled with homemade peanut butter A closed mason jar of homemade peanut butter
November 15, 2024 at 4:02 PM
…… uhhh… hahaha ha… ha ha… is it… gosh, it’s really cold in here, isn’t it? >.>
Alexis’s hand holding a Swiss Army knife with the short blade extended
November 7, 2024 at 1:55 AM
The meme of a guy sitting at a table outside with a sign that says "change my mind" at the bottom. The text of the sign says "Outer space should carry 511 electoral votes"
November 5, 2024 at 11:51 PM
GIF of the Samuel L Jackson movie scene in which he says “Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell!”
November 5, 2024 at 5:34 PM
Like fr I can do this all night
The crazy guy at a pinboard meme but with the Elon musk quote that says “If they will raid a house for a squirrel they’re sure as shit going to come after you”
November 5, 2024 at 5:49 AM
November 5, 2024 at 5:25 AM
Sorry for beating a dead horse but credit to Elon: he finally made the most meme-able thing in internet history
An image of the Ralph Wiggum on a bus “I’m in danger” meme but with the text of Elon’s Twitter post that says “If they will raid a house for a squirrel they’re sure as shit going to come after you”
November 5, 2024 at 5:18 AM
This is Ivy! She’s a Siberian husky, she’s very huggable and snuggable, and she has the IQ of a cucumber but I love her very much!
A Siberian husky with white and red-tinted fur and blue eyes. She is intently watching a TV that is off-screen, and her face does not accurately portray her general lack of brain cells and pure love
November 5, 2024 at 4:41 AM
The ancient aliens guy meme photo with the text “I’m not saying they’ll raid the house for a squirrel… but they’ll sure as shit come after you.”
November 5, 2024 at 4:19 AM
It’s important to read reviews before buying a product. That way you KNOW whether or not it’s any good.
An Apple Books review giving five stars. The review title says “I like this” and the body of the review says “Cause I’m a dinosaur”
October 5, 2024 at 12:58 AM
When I cleaned my kitchen I just found a cockroach but it’s cool I’m not bitter or anything
A Couple Renovated Their Kitchen-and Stumbled Upon Buried Treasure From the 17th Century While digging deeper for more space, this family uncovered relics from a civil war. BY TIM NEWCOMB MAY 9, 2024
May 10, 2024 at 1:05 PM
Prompted by a comment, here’s a source about the TikTok thing (fuck the NY Times in general but still): www.nytimes.com/2024/04/24/t...
The bipartisan committee swiftly embraced the effort. “What we recognized was that there were so many different approaches and the technical issues were so complex,” Mr. Krishnamoorthi said.
May 3, 2024 at 3:13 PM
While I hate using The NY Times as a source due to their general shittery: www.nytimes.com/2024/04/24/t...
Its efforts got a lift after lawmakers including Mr. Gallagher accused TikTok of intentionally pushing pro-Palestinian and anti-Israel content to its users last year. Mr. Krishnamoorthi and others said the Israel-Gaza conflict stoked lawmakers’ appetites to regulate the app.
May 3, 2024 at 3:10 PM
And then the Patriots became the man for a long time and I fucking rooooooode that wave and have no regrets, much like the wealthy who fought their way out of poverty. And now the Patriots are the impoverished again and I don’t understand why nobody likes us… much… like the… oh no…
The famous dril tweet that reads: "im not owned! im not owned!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
February 28, 2024 at 4:28 AM
tbf this is kinda all you need to know to understand me as a person
Two skeets from me explaining the formative life advice I received from my parents that made me an anti-authoritarian punk bitch: Always root for the underdog. Unless they're playing against the New England Patriots, in which case root for the New England Patriots.
February 28, 2024 at 4:22 AM
Dean Phillips is in 4th place in a 2 person race in MI.* If I were an 80s comedian I’d make the joke “4th place behind uncommitted? Sounds like my ex-wife!” before promptly making billions of dollars and, ironically, later funding the presidential campaign of Dean Phillips.

* credit for this in pic
February 28, 2024 at 3:02 AM
Trump just said in an interview that a dishwasher company came to him and said they're not allowed to use water anymore and all I can see when I look at him now is the living embodiment of Grandpa Simpson.
Screenshot of Grandpa Simpson saying "So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time."
February 21, 2024 at 12:37 AM
While grammar checking this before posting, I learned that there’s a fine line between “trying my best” and “making myself wet”
The original version of this skeet which read “Estoy aprendo español y estoy leo Bluesky Ñ. Pero mí español no es muy bueno, está muy difícil. ¡Soy hacer mí mojer!” This translates to “I am learning Spanish and I am reading Bluesky Ñ. But my Spanish is not very good, it is very difficult. I'm making myself wet!”, which was certainly not the intended message.
February 18, 2024 at 5:38 PM
Slap a T and a little bit of 🇺🇸 on those and you can pawn them off on idiot racist hicks for 400 bucks.
A Temu listing for gold high top sneaks for $18, far less than the $400 Donald Trump is asking for.
February 18, 2024 at 3:44 AM
The current state of Donald Trump’s campaign rallies:
A screenshot from the movie Spinal Tap of a theatre entrance sign reading “Puppet show and Spinal Tap”
February 18, 2024 at 1:31 AM
HEY GALS I THINK I CAN WIN THIS ONE
A paid Twitter ad with a poll asking who I think will win the Super Bowl, 3 days after the Super Bowl ended. The poll has two days left because only idiots advertise on Twitter anymore.
February 15, 2024 at 5:05 AM
A tweet describing bitcoin as: “imagine if keeping your car idling 24/7 produced solved Sudokus you could trade for heroin”
February 15, 2024 at 4:16 AM
YES I CAN WRITE CURSIVE THIS IS CURSIVE I KNOW THAT ITS CURSIVE CAUSE I CAN WRITE CURSIVE YOU CANT WRITE CURSIVE FUCK YOU
February 15, 2024 at 3:00 AM