"I just can't believe you're leaving," he muttered to me, reclined in his lawn chair. "It's like we grew up together. You feel like my little brother." Just last week he told me that he didn't see me as serious when we first met, but I just kept showing up. "You and I grew up together..."
May 19, 2025 at 4:31 AM
"I just can't believe you're leaving," he muttered to me, reclined in his lawn chair. "It's like we grew up together. You feel like my little brother." Just last week he told me that he didn't see me as serious when we first met, but I just kept showing up. "You and I grew up together..."
Takeaway from public health physicians: Public health as a mission-driven off-ramp from clinical medicine (not in parallel), though important to maintain clinical skills as a fall-back
May 1, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Takeaway from public health physicians: Public health as a mission-driven off-ramp from clinical medicine (not in parallel), though important to maintain clinical skills as a fall-back
Making my rank list has been anticlimactic in that I thought that there'd be a moment of revelation, of certainty in my course forward. Of course, it's just the settling in of whatever years of reflections and choices that have led me to where I am, and yet another choice that inches me there.
February 23, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Making my rank list has been anticlimactic in that I thought that there'd be a moment of revelation, of certainty in my course forward. Of course, it's just the settling in of whatever years of reflections and choices that have led me to where I am, and yet another choice that inches me there.
My first street outreach walk in a while yesterday, it was such a nice reminder of how fulfilling it is to build relationships with people and see the results of that trust. Will probably need to accompany someone to the hospital, but that's the accomplishment of 2 years of knowing someone.
February 23, 2025 at 5:32 PM
My first street outreach walk in a while yesterday, it was such a nice reminder of how fulfilling it is to build relationships with people and see the results of that trust. Will probably need to accompany someone to the hospital, but that's the accomplishment of 2 years of knowing someone.
Post-rotation goals:
- Write daily
- One case daily (plus learning)
- Stretch daily
- Core exercises on all days I don't lift
- Write daily
- One case daily (plus learning)
- Stretch daily
- Core exercises on all days I don't lift
January 16, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Post-rotation goals:
- Write daily
- One case daily (plus learning)
- Stretch daily
- Core exercises on all days I don't lift
- Write daily
- One case daily (plus learning)
- Stretch daily
- Core exercises on all days I don't lift
A nurse flagged me down: "By the way, I've been working here for 15 years, and you give me hope for the future of medicine. Everyone just taps on their phones these days. Thanks for seeing patients, and listening, and just giving a shit. Seriously."
January 16, 2025 at 3:59 AM
A nurse flagged me down: "By the way, I've been working here for 15 years, and you give me hope for the future of medicine. Everyone just taps on their phones these days. Thanks for seeing patients, and listening, and just giving a shit. Seriously."
Lessons from ICU:
- Think about fluids more often. Really the main time to hold off is heart or kidney issues, and even then patients could still be dry intravascular.
- If things aren't adding up, expand the thinking! Why not think about rare or weird stuff? Go there!
- Think about fluids more often. Really the main time to hold off is heart or kidney issues, and even then patients could still be dry intravascular.
- If things aren't adding up, expand the thinking! Why not think about rare or weird stuff? Go there!
January 10, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Lessons from ICU:
- Think about fluids more often. Really the main time to hold off is heart or kidney issues, and even then patients could still be dry intravascular.
- If things aren't adding up, expand the thinking! Why not think about rare or weird stuff? Go there!
- Think about fluids more often. Really the main time to hold off is heart or kidney issues, and even then patients could still be dry intravascular.
- If things aren't adding up, expand the thinking! Why not think about rare or weird stuff? Go there!
What's the age where I stop getting moved by songs about being a teenager? Songs in question are Olivia Rodrigo
January 4, 2025 at 5:17 AM
What's the age where I stop getting moved by songs about being a teenager? Songs in question are Olivia Rodrigo
"What makes a person want to shiver in a train station for nothing more than the promise of a secret image? ... Maybe it was the willingness to play that hinted at a tender, eternally newborn part in all humans." - Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
January 3, 2025 at 6:41 AM
"What makes a person want to shiver in a train station for nothing more than the promise of a secret image? ... Maybe it was the willingness to play that hinted at a tender, eternally newborn part in all humans." - Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
Ranking the years I've been alive - 2024 has been a pretty good one, but I'm fortunate to say that it still likely belongs in the bottom 5 with my other "senior years" (2015, 2019). It hasn't been as bad as those two, but still haunted by the same struggles of existential change...
January 1, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Ranking the years I've been alive - 2024 has been a pretty good one, but I'm fortunate to say that it still likely belongs in the bottom 5 with my other "senior years" (2015, 2019). It hasn't been as bad as those two, but still haunted by the same struggles of existential change...
Something that's stuck with me from sophomore year English: fevers can be formative. This week has been the sickest I've been since COVID, sleeping for most of the day and in the bathroom otherwise. It's all left me pretty numb, with new appreciation for space, to just sit there without expectation.
December 31, 2024 at 6:18 AM
Something that's stuck with me from sophomore year English: fevers can be formative. This week has been the sickest I've been since COVID, sleeping for most of the day and in the bathroom otherwise. It's all left me pretty numb, with new appreciation for space, to just sit there without expectation.
Central question: Aside from starting relationships, how do we deepen them? Part of it being discussing the relationship itself.
December 18, 2024 at 5:12 PM
Central question: Aside from starting relationships, how do we deepen them? Part of it being discussing the relationship itself.
I've always been a Chat GPT when it came to writing, but back then it was unjustified. Now, I've tried Chat a little more, never to substitute my writing, mostly for inspiration, and I'm a stronger hater than ever. I'm always impressed by how good it sounds, but the substance is just not there.
December 17, 2024 at 6:40 AM
I've always been a Chat GPT when it came to writing, but back then it was unjustified. Now, I've tried Chat a little more, never to substitute my writing, mostly for inspiration, and I'm a stronger hater than ever. I'm always impressed by how good it sounds, but the substance is just not there.
I want to work on being a mentor, someone who doesn't just give out advice but a compass. A lot of younger folks have been asking about guidance down their paths, and my first instinct is to respond with my own. But those are just my insights on my journey. I need to be asking more questions.
December 12, 2024 at 6:06 AM
I want to work on being a mentor, someone who doesn't just give out advice but a compass. A lot of younger folks have been asking about guidance down their paths, and my first instinct is to respond with my own. But those are just my insights on my journey. I need to be asking more questions.
Appreciating a video by John A Rich, which is helping me connect the dots between trauma, dehumanization, social justice, and medicine. youtu.be/rBI7iwIVSA4?...
December 10, 2024 at 6:00 AM
Appreciating a video by John A Rich, which is helping me connect the dots between trauma, dehumanization, social justice, and medicine. youtu.be/rBI7iwIVSA4?...
Part of good advising is the trust for me to be honest and transparent, but part of it is also realizing, in real time, that some of my worries are so silly to say out loud that I recognize that they're not actually serious worries at all. Like, yeah...I think I know the answer to this one.
December 9, 2024 at 3:59 PM
Part of good advising is the trust for me to be honest and transparent, but part of it is also realizing, in real time, that some of my worries are so silly to say out loud that I recognize that they're not actually serious worries at all. Like, yeah...I think I know the answer to this one.
"Being bad at being bad is one of the worst things you can be." - Duke WBB
December 5, 2024 at 5:56 AM
"Being bad at being bad is one of the worst things you can be." - Duke WBB
What is it about being punched in the face and head, repeatedly, the fist appearing between blinks, stunning me left, right, and backwards, that triggers the crying reflex? It's not pain, but maybe frustration, or powerlessness. I can feel the tears welling even before the bout is over, and...
December 5, 2024 at 3:48 AM
What is it about being punched in the face and head, repeatedly, the fist appearing between blinks, stunning me left, right, and backwards, that triggers the crying reflex? It's not pain, but maybe frustration, or powerlessness. I can feel the tears welling even before the bout is over, and...
List of things to reflect on:
- Addiction Med (weeks 1 and 2)
- HOP Training
- ERAS and other deadlines
- Auditions
- Addiction Med (weeks 1 and 2)
- HOP Training
- ERAS and other deadlines
- Auditions
September 9, 2024 at 3:53 AM
List of things to reflect on:
- Addiction Med (weeks 1 and 2)
- HOP Training
- ERAS and other deadlines
- Auditions
- Addiction Med (weeks 1 and 2)
- HOP Training
- ERAS and other deadlines
- Auditions
I realized that I was leaning in the doorway in a way I didn't mean, and I didn't really have anything to say, so I figured I should probably get the fuck out of the way until the real doctors arrived. The attending rounded the corner, and I ducked back in to join her. The patient's eyes lit up -
August 31, 2024 at 3:55 AM
I realized that I was leaning in the doorway in a way I didn't mean, and I didn't really have anything to say, so I figured I should probably get the fuck out of the way until the real doctors arrived. The attending rounded the corner, and I ducked back in to join her. The patient's eyes lit up -
Feeling like a soft shell crab this week. Like, a little cranky and snappy to make up for the fact that I haven't found a new shell to call home yet. Or am I thinking of hermit crabs?I often dip into this rut around transitions, like an evil version of senioritis. Trying instead to be soft, open.
August 24, 2024 at 2:51 AM
Feeling like a soft shell crab this week. Like, a little cranky and snappy to make up for the fact that I haven't found a new shell to call home yet. Or am I thinking of hermit crabs?I often dip into this rut around transitions, like an evil version of senioritis. Trying instead to be soft, open.
I'm totally fine with not knowing things, but what I'm hardest on myself for is missing things or making mistakes that I know I'm better than. It's been a humbling week (as always), but sweet goodbyes with patients and their families at discharge + great teammates is always worth it, honestly.
August 15, 2024 at 8:33 PM
I'm totally fine with not knowing things, but what I'm hardest on myself for is missing things or making mistakes that I know I'm better than. It's been a humbling week (as always), but sweet goodbyes with patients and their families at discharge + great teammates is always worth it, honestly.
The older and wider I feel in the hospital, paradoxically the more childish and immature I feel in my usual life. It's weird because I always thought that being a student is what was holding me back from adulthood, but now it feels like the rest of my life is racing ahead, too much too soon.
August 6, 2024 at 3:18 AM
The older and wider I feel in the hospital, paradoxically the more childish and immature I feel in my usual life. It's weird because I always thought that being a student is what was holding me back from adulthood, but now it feels like the rest of my life is racing ahead, too much too soon.
Began Together by the US Surgen General, and it's so, so, so resonant. #Loneliness or #SocialConnection should be at the top of every progress note because it's such a critical part of what makes people well. I used to begrudge my volunteer work at the hospital as a premed...
August 5, 2024 at 2:19 AM
Began Together by the US Surgen General, and it's so, so, so resonant. #Loneliness or #SocialConnection should be at the top of every progress note because it's such a critical part of what makes people well. I used to begrudge my volunteer work at the hospital as a premed...
Today, I had my first real outpatient oncology clinic. I'm really warmed by how routine cancer treatment has become, how treatable it is even if it's not always cured. The last visit was for a first visit for triple-negative cancer. The doctor walks into the room...
August 2, 2024 at 3:29 AM
Today, I had my first real outpatient oncology clinic. I'm really warmed by how routine cancer treatment has become, how treatable it is even if it's not always cured. The last visit was for a first visit for triple-negative cancer. The doctor walks into the room...