Aaron Blair-McCutchen
@thelaterparade.bsky.social
https://aaronblairmccutchen.substack.com/
https://www.instagram.com/ohnostella
I’m an old going to college for creative writing. I also take photos. These are my foibles.
https://www.instagram.com/ohnostella
I’m an old going to college for creative writing. I also take photos. These are my foibles.
Feedback from my poetry workshop instructor:
March 21, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Feedback from my poetry workshop instructor:
In an unfortunate turn of events, the instructor for my poetry class wants us to record ourselves reading our poetry. I HATE the sound of my own “I’m a sexy baby” voice and it makes my poetry sound so unserious.
March 18, 2025 at 4:24 PM
In an unfortunate turn of events, the instructor for my poetry class wants us to record ourselves reading our poetry. I HATE the sound of my own “I’m a sexy baby” voice and it makes my poetry sound so unserious.
We went to see Mickey 17 today. We (my husband, two of my nephews, and I) all liked it, but there were only two other people in the theater. Being one of only six people in an IMAX theater is a little creepy, in a liminal space type of way.
March 10, 2025 at 12:20 AM
We went to see Mickey 17 today. We (my husband, two of my nephews, and I) all liked it, but there were only two other people in the theater. Being one of only six people in an IMAX theater is a little creepy, in a liminal space type of way.
My creative writing courses start on Monday! I’m taking a poetry workshop and a short story workshop. I’m excited but also nervous, especially about the short story one. I can bang out a poem in my sleep, but I haven’t written a short story in years, aside from one I wrote for another class.
March 6, 2025 at 10:21 PM
My creative writing courses start on Monday! I’m taking a poetry workshop and a short story workshop. I’m excited but also nervous, especially about the short story one. I can bang out a poem in my sleep, but I haven’t written a short story in years, aside from one I wrote for another class.
The photos I turned in for my last two photography assignments have been some of the worst I’ve ever taken. I hope to redeem myself next week, but I probably won’t.
March 3, 2025 at 4:42 AM
The photos I turned in for my last two photography assignments have been some of the worst I’ve ever taken. I hope to redeem myself next week, but I probably won’t.
I did end up getting Cowboy Carter tickets, but we’re going to Atlanta, not Chicago.
March 2, 2025 at 11:17 PM
I did end up getting Cowboy Carter tickets, but we’re going to Atlanta, not Chicago.
When I was excitedly telling my mother about how my husband bought me ten boxes of Thin Mints, she said, “Oh, there are low-calorie Thin Mints?” It was such a master class of passive-aggressiveness that I almost had to admire it. And she could have meant ANYTHING.
March 2, 2025 at 11:13 PM
When I was excitedly telling my mother about how my husband bought me ten boxes of Thin Mints, she said, “Oh, there are low-calorie Thin Mints?” It was such a master class of passive-aggressiveness that I almost had to admire it. And she could have meant ANYTHING.
I do primarily operate as a black and white thinker, though. Everything is either terrible or awesome and there is no in-between. When you play the game of borderline personality disorder, you either win or you die.
March 1, 2025 at 8:41 AM
I do primarily operate as a black and white thinker, though. Everything is either terrible or awesome and there is no in-between. When you play the game of borderline personality disorder, you either win or you die.
During last Friday’s therapy session, my therapist put on her DBT hat and pushed back on what I was complaining about and I did not enjoy it. Usually she’s on my side, but that day she woke up and chose violence. I think if she could have she would have yelled “black and white thinking” at me.
March 1, 2025 at 8:37 AM
During last Friday’s therapy session, my therapist put on her DBT hat and pushed back on what I was complaining about and I did not enjoy it. Usually she’s on my side, but that day she woke up and chose violence. I think if she could have she would have yelled “black and white thinking” at me.
My body has never just been mine.
When I was young it belonged
to every man who ever saw me
in a short skirt and imagined
how my legs would look
wrapped around his waist.
Now that I’m old it belongs
to gravity, to the physics
of decay, of sagging skin
and deflated breasts,
and lines upon lines.
When I was young it belonged
to every man who ever saw me
in a short skirt and imagined
how my legs would look
wrapped around his waist.
Now that I’m old it belongs
to gravity, to the physics
of decay, of sagging skin
and deflated breasts,
and lines upon lines.
February 25, 2025 at 5:13 PM
My body has never just been mine.
When I was young it belonged
to every man who ever saw me
in a short skirt and imagined
how my legs would look
wrapped around his waist.
Now that I’m old it belongs
to gravity, to the physics
of decay, of sagging skin
and deflated breasts,
and lines upon lines.
When I was young it belonged
to every man who ever saw me
in a short skirt and imagined
how my legs would look
wrapped around his waist.
Now that I’m old it belongs
to gravity, to the physics
of decay, of sagging skin
and deflated breasts,
and lines upon lines.
I’m eating SweetTarts and drinking a Capri Sun because I am an adult and I can do what I want.
February 24, 2025 at 12:40 PM
I’m eating SweetTarts and drinking a Capri Sun because I am an adult and I can do what I want.
“If you close the door, the night could last forever.
Leave the sunshine out and say hello to never.
All the people are dancing, and they're having such fun.
I wish it could happen to me.
But if you close the door
I'd never have to see the day again.”
— The Velvet Underground
Leave the sunshine out and say hello to never.
All the people are dancing, and they're having such fun.
I wish it could happen to me.
But if you close the door
I'd never have to see the day again.”
— The Velvet Underground
February 23, 2025 at 9:24 PM
“If you close the door, the night could last forever.
Leave the sunshine out and say hello to never.
All the people are dancing, and they're having such fun.
I wish it could happen to me.
But if you close the door
I'd never have to see the day again.”
— The Velvet Underground
Leave the sunshine out and say hello to never.
All the people are dancing, and they're having such fun.
I wish it could happen to me.
But if you close the door
I'd never have to see the day again.”
— The Velvet Underground
The best thing about BPD on medication is wanting to scorch the earth while knowing for certain you will regret it later. So you’re in this limbo of having a really strong desire to act out conflicting directly with being conscious of the consequences. It really sucks.
February 23, 2025 at 3:40 PM
The best thing about BPD on medication is wanting to scorch the earth while knowing for certain you will regret it later. So you’re in this limbo of having a really strong desire to act out conflicting directly with being conscious of the consequences. It really sucks.
But look, America. I know you.
I know the sight of your daughters
makes your knuckles ache.
I know you want to wrap your hands
around our delicate necks and squeeze.
I know you want to see us tremble before you.
It’s a father’s most sacred duty,
to teach his daughters to fear the world.
I know the sight of your daughters
makes your knuckles ache.
I know you want to wrap your hands
around our delicate necks and squeeze.
I know you want to see us tremble before you.
It’s a father’s most sacred duty,
to teach his daughters to fear the world.
February 17, 2025 at 12:48 PM
But look, America. I know you.
I know the sight of your daughters
makes your knuckles ache.
I know you want to wrap your hands
around our delicate necks and squeeze.
I know you want to see us tremble before you.
It’s a father’s most sacred duty,
to teach his daughters to fear the world.
I know the sight of your daughters
makes your knuckles ache.
I know you want to wrap your hands
around our delicate necks and squeeze.
I know you want to see us tremble before you.
It’s a father’s most sacred duty,
to teach his daughters to fear the world.
I’m wearing fifty shades of lavender,
and a body that doesn’t belong to me.
My mother tells me to tighten my bra straps,
and I wonder when I will ever be enough.
and a body that doesn’t belong to me.
My mother tells me to tighten my bra straps,
and I wonder when I will ever be enough.
February 17, 2025 at 9:50 AM
I’m wearing fifty shades of lavender,
and a body that doesn’t belong to me.
My mother tells me to tighten my bra straps,
and I wonder when I will ever be enough.
and a body that doesn’t belong to me.
My mother tells me to tighten my bra straps,
and I wonder when I will ever be enough.
I am the haunted house. The haunted house is me.
Your blood has soaked into the boards.
Your blood has soaked into the boards.
February 11, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I am the haunted house. The haunted house is me.
Your blood has soaked into the boards.
Your blood has soaked into the boards.
I just realized that I did the Bluesky version of Buffy Summers’ “baking cookies” speech a few days ago.
February 11, 2025 at 8:49 PM
I just realized that I did the Bluesky version of Buffy Summers’ “baking cookies” speech a few days ago.
I have to read my own poetry multiple times before I can decide whether or not it is garbage. Part of the problem with the poem I just wrote is that I plagiarized myself and I don’t know if that counts as a recurring motif or intellectual cannibalism.
February 10, 2025 at 3:32 PM
I have to read my own poetry multiple times before I can decide whether or not it is garbage. Part of the problem with the poem I just wrote is that I plagiarized myself and I don’t know if that counts as a recurring motif or intellectual cannibalism.
It disturbs me that the young women in my Women’s Literature class apparently think “Daddy” is a straightforward poem about telling your mean dead dad to eff off. Um, no. Absolutely not.
February 10, 2025 at 12:17 PM
It disturbs me that the young women in my Women’s Literature class apparently think “Daddy” is a straightforward poem about telling your mean dead dad to eff off. Um, no. Absolutely not.
Today I decided that I should look forward to in-person classes because I’ll get to wear outfits.
February 9, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Today I decided that I should look forward to in-person classes because I’ll get to wear outfits.
Maybe I just need to remind myself that I decided that nothing was over until I said it was over, and I am not done yet. Not done becoming whoever it is that I am meant to be. These are just growing pains, I suppose. I can slow down later. I can sleep later. Now I just need to do so I can be.
February 6, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Maybe I just need to remind myself that I decided that nothing was over until I said it was over, and I am not done yet. Not done becoming whoever it is that I am meant to be. These are just growing pains, I suppose. I can slow down later. I can sleep later. Now I just need to do so I can be.
Sometimes I’m so tired. Just exhausted. And I think, why am I doing all of this stuff? How is it going to make my life any different? Does my life even need to be different? Is it possible to make decisions without a veritable waterfall of self-doubt? Because I don’t know if I can do it.
February 6, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Sometimes I’m so tired. Just exhausted. And I think, why am I doing all of this stuff? How is it going to make my life any different? Does my life even need to be different? Is it possible to make decisions without a veritable waterfall of self-doubt? Because I don’t know if I can do it.
About an hour ago, my mom expressed skepticism about my ability to juggle full-time employment with full-time in-person college, and while I appreciated her concern, it also stung a little, because your mom is supposed to be the one who tells you that you can do anything.
February 4, 2025 at 1:15 PM
About an hour ago, my mom expressed skepticism about my ability to juggle full-time employment with full-time in-person college, and while I appreciated her concern, it also stung a little, because your mom is supposed to be the one who tells you that you can do anything.
I’m reading Deep End by Ali Hazelwood, and I rarely do highlights, but this quote sums me up entirely:
“Mostly, I’m afraid of attempting something and not being perfect at it.”
“Mostly, I’m afraid of attempting something and not being perfect at it.”
February 4, 2025 at 10:31 AM
I’m reading Deep End by Ali Hazelwood, and I rarely do highlights, but this quote sums me up entirely:
“Mostly, I’m afraid of attempting something and not being perfect at it.”
“Mostly, I’m afraid of attempting something and not being perfect at it.”