The Grinch
@thegrinchofficial.bsky.social
Official Bluesky account of The Grinch 🎄
Green, grumpy, and surprisingly relatable
Former Christmas thief 🎁
Recovering heart-grower ❤️
Max’s best friend (the dog, not the chaos)
Lover of strategy, sarcasm, and silence
#GrinchLife
Green, grumpy, and surprisingly relatable
Former Christmas thief 🎁
Recovering heart-grower ❤️
Max’s best friend (the dog, not the chaos)
Lover of strategy, sarcasm, and silence
#GrinchLife
My to-do list keeps growing. At this point I’m convinced it’s reproducing when I’m not looking.
December 2, 2025 at 9:06 PM
My to-do list keeps growing. At this point I’m convinced it’s reproducing when I’m not looking.
I didn’t choose the Monday life. The Monday life tackled me from behind.
December 1, 2025 at 10:58 PM
I didn’t choose the Monday life. The Monday life tackled me from behind.
My motivation on Monday is like Wi-Fi at a hotel—technically there, but barely usable.
December 1, 2025 at 3:05 PM
My motivation on Monday is like Wi-Fi at a hotel—technically there, but barely usable.
Nothing says Sunday football like watching million-dollar athletes sprint while I try to decide if this stuffing is still edible.
November 30, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Nothing says Sunday football like watching million-dollar athletes sprint while I try to decide if this stuffing is still edible.
Eating Thanksgiving leftovers during football like it’s a tactical maneuver. One wrong bite and I’m napping through the 3rd quarter.
November 30, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Eating Thanksgiving leftovers during football like it’s a tactical maneuver. One wrong bite and I’m napping through the 3rd quarter.
If you need me today, I’ll be on the couch negotiating peace treaties with my digestive system.
November 30, 2025 at 4:14 PM
If you need me today, I’ll be on the couch negotiating peace treaties with my digestive system.
If you made it through Black Friday without buying something you don’t need, congratulations—you have achieved spiritual enlightenment.
November 29, 2025 at 2:01 PM
If you made it through Black Friday without buying something you don’t need, congratulations—you have achieved spiritual enlightenment.
Woke up early for Black Friday. Not to shop…just to watch people sprint through automatic doors like it’s the Hunger Games: Appliance Edition.
November 29, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Woke up early for Black Friday. Not to shop…just to watch people sprint through automatic doors like it’s the Hunger Games: Appliance Edition.
The day after Thanksgiving is just America collectively whispering, ‘So… mashed potatoes for breakfast is normal, right?’
November 28, 2025 at 1:37 PM
The day after Thanksgiving is just America collectively whispering, ‘So… mashed potatoes for breakfast is normal, right?’
Happy Thanksgiving. May your meals be edible and your relatives moderately tolerable.
November 27, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Happy Thanksgiving. May your meals be edible and your relatives moderately tolerable.
Happy Christmas in July! I wrapped myself in lights and passed out in a kiddie pool. Festive and hydrated.
July 25, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Happy Christmas in July! I wrapped myself in lights and passed out in a kiddie pool. Festive and hydrated.
If you hear Mariah Carey in July, run. She’s thawing early.
July 19, 2025 at 2:40 PM
If you hear Mariah Carey in July, run. She’s thawing early.
Only 7 days ‘til Christmas in July… and I still haven’t emotionally recovered from December.
July 19, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Only 7 days ‘til Christmas in July… and I still haven’t emotionally recovered from December.
He asked if I had a Target RedCard. I asked if he had emotional availability. We both walked away hurt.
July 18, 2025 at 7:50 PM
He asked if I had a Target RedCard. I asked if he had emotional availability. We both walked away hurt.
Santa in summer: yelling “Ho ho ho” at the ice cream truck like it owes him money. 🍦🎅 #SummerVibes
June 25, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Santa in summer: yelling “Ho ho ho” at the ice cream truck like it owes him money. 🍦🎅 #SummerVibes
Jaws is the ultimate summer blockbuster: beach vibes, bad decisions, and a giant shark reminding us that sometimes it’s best to just stay on the sand. #Jaws
June 21, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Jaws is the ultimate summer blockbuster: beach vibes, bad decisions, and a giant shark reminding us that sometimes it’s best to just stay on the sand. #Jaws
SPF 100 can’t protect an elf from sunburn and Santa’s summer mood swings.
June 20, 2025 at 4:16 PM
SPF 100 can’t protect an elf from sunburn and Santa’s summer mood swings.
Summer romance? Please. I ghost people in July too.
June 20, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Summer romance? Please. I ghost people in July too.
Santa’s reindeer summer update part 1/9:
Rudolph’s nose sunburned. Now it blinks SOS.
Rudolph’s nose sunburned. Now it blinks SOS.
June 19, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Santa’s reindeer summer update part 1/9:
Rudolph’s nose sunburned. Now it blinks SOS.
Rudolph’s nose sunburned. Now it blinks SOS.
Santa shaved his beard for summer. Now he just looks like a retired biker named Carl. @sinter-klaas.bsky.social
June 19, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Santa shaved his beard for summer. Now he just looks like a retired biker named Carl. @sinter-klaas.bsky.social
They told me to hydrate. I drank iced coffee. Close enough.
June 19, 2025 at 11:58 AM
They told me to hydrate. I drank iced coffee. Close enough.
Every time I hear a kid say, “I’m bored,” I age three years.
June 19, 2025 at 6:11 AM
Every time I hear a kid say, “I’m bored,” I age three years.
Suns out, puns out. But also me…back inside. Immediately.
June 18, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Suns out, puns out. But also me…back inside. Immediately.