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The Grinch

@thegrinchofficial.bsky.social

2K followers 3.8K following 270 posts

Official Bluesky account of The Grinch 🎄 Green, grumpy, and surprisingly relatable Former Christmas thief 🎁 Recovering heart-grower ❤️ Max’s best friend (the dog, not the chaos) Lover of strategy, sarcasm, and silence #GrinchLife

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The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jul 25

Happy Christmas in July! I wrapped myself in lights and passed out in a kiddie pool. Festive and hydrated.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jul 19

If you hear Mariah Carey in July, run. She’s thawing early.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jul 19

Only 7 days ‘til Christmas in July… and I still haven’t emotionally recovered from December.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jul 18

He asked if I had a Target RedCard. I asked if he had emotional availability. We both walked away hurt.

Santa Claus @sinter-klaas.bsky.social · Jan 26

How you all liking that Target Santa now?

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 25

Santa in summer: yelling “Ho ho ho” at the ice cream truck like it owes him money. 🍦🎅 #SummerVibes

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 21

Jaws is the ultimate summer blockbuster: beach vibes, bad decisions, and a giant shark reminding us that sometimes it’s best to just stay on the sand. #Jaws

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 21

If “Jaws” came out today, some influencer would try to ride the shark for the ‘gram. #Jaws

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 20

Just rewatched Jaws and honestly… the real villain? The mayor. Man saw a literal murder shark and said, “But tourism tho.” #Jaws

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 20

SPF 100 can’t protect an elf from sunburn and Santa’s summer mood swings.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 20

Summer romance? Please. I ghost people in July too.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 19

Santa’s reindeer summer update part 1/9:

Rudolph’s nose sunburned. Now it blinks SOS.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 19

Santa shaved his beard for summer. Now he just looks like a retired biker named Carl. @sinter-klaas.bsky.social

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 19

They told me to hydrate. I drank iced coffee. Close enough.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 19

Every time I hear a kid say, “I’m bored,” I age three years.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 18

Suns out, puns out. But also me…back inside. Immediately.

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The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 18

Summer goal: sweat less than my iced coffee melts. Currently losing. #SlipperySeason

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 18

Don’t invite me to your barbecue unless you’re serving sarcasm and emotional distance. #HotAndBothered

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 18

Someone said “smile more” so I bared my teeth. Now I’m on a watchlist. #Grinch

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 18

I missed Valentine’s Day, Easter, and three TikTok trends I refuse to understand. But I’m back to ruin July early.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 17

Took a break before AI took over the internet and everyone started tweeting like robots. Oh wait… still applies.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jun 17

Back from hiatus. My inbox is 97% spam and 3% Santa memes. Honestly, it’s better than expected.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jan 20

Bought a planner for 2025. First entry: 'Will I actually use this planner? TBD.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jan 20

I’m officially on a don’t ask me for anything until I’ve had my coffee diet. It’s highly effective.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jan 20

I’ve been alive for decades, and I still can’t fold a fitted sheet. Some mysteries are eternal.

The Grinch @thegrinchofficial.bsky.social · Jan 20

Why do I keep buying plants? I can barely keep myself watered.