TheConnASSeur
theconnasseur.bsky.social
TheConnASSeur
@theconnasseur.bsky.social
I like four things: Amazon muscle mommies, big-tittied black women, twinks with pumpkin asses, and the dream of a more equitable future for all people built on the principles of democratic socialism.
You ever think about how weird it is that Mickey Mouse has a dog named Pluto, but he also has a friend named Goofy who is a dog?

WTF is going on there? Is Pluto a dog dog or like a sex pervert dog? Is Goofy just like a werewolf? Is Pluto Mickey's gimp? How deep does the rabbit hole go?!
December 12, 2025 at 3:56 PM
It's kind of fucked up that we're now rooting for Netflix to devour WB over a somehow more evil megacorp. The future is pretty fucking dumb I guess.
December 10, 2025 at 9:52 PM
So let's be real. We're like what, 2 maybe 3 months from the President of the United States just straight up saying the n-word in a public speech, right? Then all of the Republicans pretending like it's totally cool to do that now and Fox News will claim it totally isn't about hate.
December 10, 2025 at 6:32 AM
"911 was an inside job!": 50/50 Someone agrees with you.

"Epstein was murdered by the President!": Everyone agrees with you but 50/50 that they know who actually was PotUS when it happened.

Life's kinda stupid in the future, I guess.
a cartoon of batman wearing a blue cape and mask with his hand on his chin .
ALT: a cartoon of batman wearing a blue cape and mask with his hand on his chin .
media.tenor.com
December 9, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Reposted by TheConnASSeur
The findings raise questions about Kohler’s use of the term “end-to-end encryption” and the inherent privacy limitations of a device that films the goings-on of a toilet bowl.
Engineer proves that Kohler’s smart toilet cameras aren’t very private
Kohler is getting the scoop on people’s poop.
arstechnica.com
December 5, 2025 at 6:07 PM
One of my favorite things to see on social media are those before and after photos of trans people looking so try hard and awkward on one side and just quietly happy on the other.

It's nice. I bet that feels like a lifetimes worth of kicking off work shoes and slipping into big comfy slippers.
December 5, 2025 at 5:44 PM
My X-Files fan theory: Special Agent Fox Mulder is autistic. He's just so handsome that no one notices.
December 5, 2025 at 3:05 AM
A scone is just a biscuit for people with universal healthcare.
December 4, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Anyone else think it's weird that Judy Hopps is supposed to be a justice obsessed super cop, but she's also portrayed as being friends with mobsters?
December 4, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I genuinely wish we could have seen Zack Snyder's take on Condiment King. How the hell do you even grimdark that character? I must know. This is probably what it feels like to be a Cenobite.
December 2, 2025 at 6:24 PM
At some point we're all going to have to deal with the fact that Joel Schumacher's Batman films were based on the campy TV show and not the comics, and as such, Batman Forever is pure gay cinema.
a corner of a bathroom with a door and a shadow on the wall
ALT: a corner of a bathroom with a door and a shadow on the wall
media.tenor.com
December 1, 2025 at 9:01 PM
"OMG! Why is Trump ordering the Sec of Def to commit war crimes?!"

Because that's what criminal gangs do. They force their members to commit crimes so that their fate is tied to the gang. IF Trump is ever out of power, Kegseth faces war crime charges. His life now depends on Trump staying in power.
November 30, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Show about time traveling lesbians that know kung-fu and science called "Time Dykes!" They ride hover bikes and visit lesser known lesbian icons throughout history and occasionally fight dinosaurs.

I'm thinking it could go for 10 seasons easy.
November 29, 2025 at 9:03 AM
All education should be free. Forever. No strings. No limits. Not just that, it should come with a housing stipend. If someone wants to spend their entire life doing nothing but reading Shakespeare or botany and staying out of trouble, it's worth it so society to just let them do that.
November 27, 2025 at 6:11 PM
FYI I'm an American Indian living in the United States of America.

No one is paying me to admit to loving Batman Forever. I do that for free, baby!
a man in a green camouflage costume is standing on a metal platform
ALT: a man in a green camouflage costume is standing on a metal platform
media.tenor.com
November 26, 2025 at 2:16 PM
It's weird how all of these right-wing military fetishists who drive hummers, jerk off to firearms, and dress in camo to buy milk don't know the first fucking thing about actually serving in the military. It makes me worry that all of my My Little Pony merch doesn't make me a pony.
November 25, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Sometimes I think about the fact that we could have had a busty black milf as president instead and I get really sad. We almost had it all.
a man with a mustache is sitting on a swing in the park .
ALT: a man with a mustache is sitting on a swing in the park .
media.tenor.com
November 22, 2025 at 7:52 AM
Heard some teens rapping, "born too soon to goon" and "born too late for the poon" and I was frankly stunned. It's nice to hear that 2000's slang is coming back, but I think that also means that I'm getting old. 🤔

I pray these kids don't discover Limp Bizkit.
November 20, 2025 at 4:21 PM
I love how people keep posting stuff on Bluesky like "Wakeup America!!! This is fascism!!"

Who are you talking to?! We're on Bluesky, not Twitter. We're wide fucking awake!

Anyway. Post more butts people.
November 20, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Someone ask Guillermo del Toro what kind of hog Frankenstein gave his Creation. He accidentally blocked me before he could answer my questions. I need to know length AND girth. He'll know what you mean.
November 19, 2025 at 7:33 PM
I'm waiting for people to realize that Valve fully intends to let you install and play Steam games on your Android phones locally. Or did you think they just did that ARM work for their VR headset?
November 19, 2025 at 7:12 PM
"When you're a voter, they let you do it. I moved on him like a bitch. I can't help myself. I'm just attracted to fiscal responsibility. I grabbed him by the balet and voted Democrat."

Just a little locker room talk.
November 19, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I've been thinking a lot about how much I hate the look of modern movies. They all look so flat. The lighting is boring. The framing is basic. The colors are all matched and smashed. Sets are disgustingly empty. Watch the worst movies from the 90's and they still feel grounded and look incredible.
November 19, 2025 at 3:10 PM
I think Trump is shopping around for countries to flee to when the shit hits the fan.
November 18, 2025 at 9:27 PM
"Quiet, piggy!"

"Now, listen here, cocksucker!"

I always think of the sickest burns when it's too late.
November 18, 2025 at 3:34 PM