swearclock ⌚︎
@swearclock.bsky.social
Throw away your watches - they are obsolete. A bot by Rob Manuel. Add your suggestions here: bit.ly/swearclockform
Gnash On My Ovaries It's 10:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Gnash On My Ovaries It's 10:00PM
Call The Vet To Whole-Arm Fist Me It's 9:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Call The Vet To Whole-Arm Fist Me It's 9:00PM
I've Fucked A Sheep, I've Fucked A Goat, I've Had My Cock Right Down Its Throat It's 8:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I've Fucked A Sheep, I've Fucked A Goat, I've Had My Cock Right Down Its Throat It's 8:00PM
Redheads Firey Bush It's 7:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Redheads Firey Bush It's 7:00PM
Steam A Cat Shit And Use The Water To Make A Proper Cup Of Tea. It's 6:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Steam A Cat Shit And Use The Water To Make A Proper Cup Of Tea. It's 6:00PM
Piss In My Mouth And Let Me Gargle Your Name It's 5:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Piss In My Mouth And Let Me Gargle Your Name It's 5:00PM
Her Majesty Quim Ejizzabreath It's 4:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Her Majesty Quim Ejizzabreath It's 4:00PM
Cunty Bollocks. It's 3:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Cunty Bollocks. It's 3:00PM
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November 18, 2025 at 2:00 PM
I'm Hard For You Lard It's 2:00PM
Humpty Dumpty Sat On A Cock It's 1:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Humpty Dumpty Sat On A Cock It's 1:00PM
Shit Through A Colander Held Over My Face And Give Me Faecal Freckles It's 12:00PM
November 18, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Shit Through A Colander Held Over My Face And Give Me Faecal Freckles It's 12:00PM
Let Them Eat Cum It's 11:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Let Them Eat Cum It's 11:00AM
Barge Into A&E Unannounced And Demand A Helmet X-Ray It's 10:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Barge Into A&E Unannounced And Demand A Helmet X-Ray It's 10:00AM
Pull A Tape Worm From My Rusty Bullet Hole It's 9:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Pull A Tape Worm From My Rusty Bullet Hole It's 9:00AM
Emulate Monkeys By Fucking Your Siblings And Flinging Your Own Shit At Strangers. It's 8:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Emulate Monkeys By Fucking Your Siblings And Flinging Your Own Shit At Strangers. It's 8:00AM
Jim'll Fix It For You To Be Fucked Up The Arse It's 7:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Jim'll Fix It For You To Be Fucked Up The Arse It's 7:00AM
Slather Your Genitals In Peanut Butter And Go And Play With The Bears It's 6:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Slather Your Genitals In Peanut Butter And Go And Play With The Bears It's 6:00AM
Take A Shit In A Shoe And Win The Turner Prize It's 5:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Take A Shit In A Shoe And Win The Turner Prize It's 5:00AM
Force Gordon Ramsey Into An Arranged Marrage With A Beaver It's 4:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Force Gordon Ramsey Into An Arranged Marrage With A Beaver It's 4:00AM
Splash Your Gash On The Net For Cash It's 3:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Splash Your Gash On The Net For Cash It's 3:00AM
Die Hard Is A Pancake Day Movie It's 2:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Die Hard Is A Pancake Day Movie It's 2:00AM
Popping Pills Like It's Fucking 2001 Again It's 1:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Popping Pills Like It's Fucking 2001 Again It's 1:00AM
Smell My Finger It's 12:00AM
November 18, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Smell My Finger It's 12:00AM
Frighteningly Powerful Diarrhoea. It's 11:00PM
November 17, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Frighteningly Powerful Diarrhoea. It's 11:00PM
Jizz In Your Wife's Best China Mug It's 10:00PM
November 17, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Jizz In Your Wife's Best China Mug It's 10:00PM