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swearclock ⌚︎

@swearclock.bsky.social

2.3K followers 5 following 5.8K posts

Throw away your watches - they are obsolete. A bot by Rob Manuel. Add your suggestions here: bit.ly/swearclockform

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 8m

Xylophone Buggery It's 12:00PM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1h

How Shit Must You Be To Be Officially Declared Unfit To Be A Member Of The House Of Cunting Lords? So Shit That It's 11:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 2h

Thank Fuck It's 10:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 3h

Shit The Fucking Bed! It's 9:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 5h

Boris Is A Twat It's 7:00AM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 6h

Harry Kane's Post Shag Jizz Dribble It's 6:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 7h

Mary Had A Little Clam It's 5:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 8h

Wank Off A Gerbil In The Name Of Science It's 4:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 9h

Fuck A Chicken Sandwich And Serve It On The Fancy Plates It's 3:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 10h

My Legs Are A Little Wobbly After That Mind-Blowing Poo It's 2:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 11h

Stab My Cock With A Fork Like It's The Sausage On The Classic Grange Hill Title Sequence It's 1:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 12h

Impale Me With Brian Blessed's Pork Sword It's 12:00AM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 14h

Cum Like A Spilled Tanker It's 10:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 15h

Invite Carol Vorderman Over To See Your Lady Garden It's 9:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 16h

Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes Pubes It's 8:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 17h

Johnny Lydon Living In Trump's Brain Having A Big Wet Fart Again It's 7:00PM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 19h

Baby Gravy! It's 5:00PM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 21h

Start A Campaign To Rename Aer Lingus To Annie Lingus It's 3:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 22h

Empty Your Load Into The Dishwasher. It's 2:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 23h

There's No-One Quite Like Grandma, The Racist Brexit Cunt, We Hate You More Than James Corden, And Even More Than Blunt It's 1:00PM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1d

Michael Buble Painting With His Own Semen It's 12:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1d

Meet Your Long Lost Sibling And Immediately Show Them Your Knob It's 11:00AM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1d

Thomas The Wank Engine And The Fat Cuntroller It's 10:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1d

Take Your Nan's Shit Filled Commode On The Antiques Roadshow It's 9:00AM

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1d

Cut Out Your Brain From Your Own Head, Spunk On It Then Put It Back In Again It's 8:00AM