swearclock ⌚︎
@swearclock.bsky.social
Throw away your watches - they are obsolete. A bot by Rob Manuel. Add your suggestions here: bit.ly/swearclockform
Lube Up A Carrot And Wank In The Library It's 3:00PM
November 29, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Lube Up A Carrot And Wank In The Library It's 3:00PM
Take A Warm Sperm Bath With Billy Idol, Surrounded By Floating Strings Of Jizz Like Uncooked Noodles It's 2:00PM
November 29, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Take A Warm Sperm Bath With Billy Idol, Surrounded By Floating Strings Of Jizz Like Uncooked Noodles It's 2:00PM
Sorry, I've Got A Mouth Full Of Cock It's 1:00PM
November 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Sorry, I've Got A Mouth Full Of Cock It's 1:00PM
Polish My Arse With Mr Sheen It's 12:00PM
November 29, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Polish My Arse With Mr Sheen It's 12:00PM
Fucking Shit Balls It's 11:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Fucking Shit Balls It's 11:00AM
Please Wank Responsibly. It's 10:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Please Wank Responsibly. It's 10:00AM
Wankers! It's 9:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Wankers! It's 9:00AM
Where's Your Fucking Platform Ticket You Trainspotter Nonce It's 8:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Where's Your Fucking Platform Ticket You Trainspotter Nonce It's 8:00AM
Fanny Blossoms It's 7:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Fanny Blossoms It's 7:00AM
Ride A Porcelain Horse And Piss Out Of One's Arsehole It's 6:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Ride A Porcelain Horse And Piss Out Of One's Arsehole It's 6:00AM
Smear My Hairy Fartbox With Marmalade And Call Me Paddington It's 5:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Smear My Hairy Fartbox With Marmalade And Call Me Paddington It's 5:00AM
Lick A Moist Skid Mark It's 4:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Lick A Moist Skid Mark It's 4:00AM
Boris Johnson's Child Support Payments It's 3:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Boris Johnson's Child Support Payments It's 3:00AM
Shit On A Plate It's 2:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Shit On A Plate It's 2:00AM
Eat Shit And Hope You're Stocked Up On Rennie And Listerine It's 1:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Eat Shit And Hope You're Stocked Up On Rennie And Listerine It's 1:00AM
Cum Flavoured Farts From The Queen It's 12:00AM
November 29, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Cum Flavoured Farts From The Queen It's 12:00AM
Christ On Crack It's 11:00PM
November 28, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Christ On Crack It's 11:00PM
Cup My Balls And Force Feed Me Kenco It's 10:00PM
November 28, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Cup My Balls And Force Feed Me Kenco It's 10:00PM
Trim Your Neckbeard Over My Fanny Salad It's 9:00PM
November 28, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Trim Your Neckbeard Over My Fanny Salad It's 9:00PM
Being Wanked Off By Theresa May's Unfeasibly Long Arms. It's 8:00PM
November 28, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Being Wanked Off By Theresa May's Unfeasibly Long Arms. It's 8:00PM
Get The Clothes Pegs Off My Tits Please Noooooooooo Slowly Ahhhhh That Fucking Hurts You Sadistic Bastard, I'm Never Doing The Daz Doorstep Challenge Again, Mr. Baker It's 7:00PM
November 28, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Get The Clothes Pegs Off My Tits Please Noooooooooo Slowly Ahhhhh That Fucking Hurts You Sadistic Bastard, I'm Never Doing The Daz Doorstep Challenge Again, Mr. Baker It's 7:00PM
Stick Your Finger Up Your Shitty Arse Then Dab It Repeatedly On The Rim And Inside The Workplace Bottle Of Vodka Of Your Sadistic Workaholic Boss Just Because It's 6:00PM
November 28, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Stick Your Finger Up Your Shitty Arse Then Dab It Repeatedly On The Rim And Inside The Workplace Bottle Of Vodka Of Your Sadistic Workaholic Boss Just Because It's 6:00PM
Milk My Cat's Nipple's It's 5:00PM
November 28, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Milk My Cat's Nipple's It's 5:00PM
Boot Your Grandad In The Conkers It's 4:00PM
November 28, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Boot Your Grandad In The Conkers It's 4:00PM
Wank Along To The University Challenge Tune It's 3:00PM
November 28, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Wank Along To The University Challenge Tune It's 3:00PM