Modern Alcumist
@streetlampkid.bsky.social
Slurpin' that vacation juice
Pinned
It's what it's.
I need to take a massive amount of hallucinogenics
February 12, 2026 at 2:04 AM
I need to take a massive amount of hallucinogenics
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
Loot that drops after defeating me:
Blood (common)
Shit (common)
Money (uncommon)
The rock I swallowed that one time on the playground when I was 7 (rare)
Blood (common)
Shit (common)
Money (uncommon)
The rock I swallowed that one time on the playground when I was 7 (rare)
Loot that drops after defeating me:
Leaves (common)
Acorns (common)
A Cool Rock (uncommon)
Edible mushroom (rare)
Little jar with a plant clipping or bug (rare)
Leaves (common)
Acorns (common)
A Cool Rock (uncommon)
Edible mushroom (rare)
Little jar with a plant clipping or bug (rare)
Loot that drops after defeating me:
Cat fur (common, material)
Chapstick (common, medicine)
US quarters (uncommon, currency)
Unfinished spicy drawing (rare, collectible)
Cat fur (common, material)
Chapstick (common, medicine)
US quarters (uncommon, currency)
Unfinished spicy drawing (rare, collectible)
February 5, 2026 at 8:51 PM
Loot that drops after defeating me:
Blood (common)
Shit (common)
Money (uncommon)
The rock I swallowed that one time on the playground when I was 7 (rare)
Blood (common)
Shit (common)
Money (uncommon)
The rock I swallowed that one time on the playground when I was 7 (rare)
Is gloving just hooping for lazier people?
February 1, 2026 at 3:06 PM
Is gloving just hooping for lazier people?
Consciousness was a mistake. We should go back to being bugs
February 1, 2026 at 2:39 AM
Consciousness was a mistake. We should go back to being bugs
*Always tired*
*Low appetite*
*Consistently feels worthless*
*Little to no interest in things I used to love*
*Low appetite*
*Consistently feels worthless*
*Little to no interest in things I used to love*
a cartoon dog is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee in front of a fire with the words this is fine .
Alt: a cartoon dog is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee. The room around him is on fire and he looks unbothered with the words "this is fine."
media.tenor.com
February 1, 2026 at 2:16 AM
*Always tired*
*Low appetite*
*Consistently feels worthless*
*Little to no interest in things I used to love*
*Low appetite*
*Consistently feels worthless*
*Little to no interest in things I used to love*
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
For Sci-Fi Cutaway Saturday: This 1969 Davis Meltzer illustration includes a pool and a ping-pong table on the moon.
January 31, 2026 at 11:31 PM
For Sci-Fi Cutaway Saturday: This 1969 Davis Meltzer illustration includes a pool and a ping-pong table on the moon.
Gotta wake up every day and jerk off into the wind
January 31, 2026 at 4:40 AM
Gotta wake up every day and jerk off into the wind
I think the Internet has proven that a person's entire life is determined by what they were doing the first time they got horny
January 23, 2026 at 7:31 PM
I think the Internet has proven that a person's entire life is determined by what they were doing the first time they got horny
It's what it's.
January 22, 2026 at 4:22 AM
It's what it's.
When am I going to get paid for my whimsy?
Why don't I get a check after a long day of skipping through a glen?
Where are my medical benefits after making flower crowns for the local field mice?
It's almost like y'all think ordering my food in a bad cockney accent has no value.
Why don't I get a check after a long day of skipping through a glen?
Where are my medical benefits after making flower crowns for the local field mice?
It's almost like y'all think ordering my food in a bad cockney accent has no value.
January 20, 2026 at 6:33 PM
When am I going to get paid for my whimsy?
Why don't I get a check after a long day of skipping through a glen?
Where are my medical benefits after making flower crowns for the local field mice?
It's almost like y'all think ordering my food in a bad cockney accent has no value.
Why don't I get a check after a long day of skipping through a glen?
Where are my medical benefits after making flower crowns for the local field mice?
It's almost like y'all think ordering my food in a bad cockney accent has no value.
What if we kissed on the $7000 gorilla throne?
January 15, 2026 at 10:07 PM
What if we kissed on the $7000 gorilla throne?
Point groups? I'll point them out the door.
January 15, 2026 at 7:38 PM
Point groups? I'll point them out the door.
Sincerity is hot
January 15, 2026 at 2:50 PM
Sincerity is hot
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
TEN......THOUSAND DOLLAR RAM
TEN......MIL DINERO RAM~!!
- THE PRICEMASTER HAS SPOKEN -
TEN......MIL DINERO RAM~!!
- THE PRICEMASTER HAS SPOKEN -
January 14, 2026 at 10:12 AM
TEN......THOUSAND DOLLAR RAM
TEN......MIL DINERO RAM~!!
- THE PRICEMASTER HAS SPOKEN -
TEN......MIL DINERO RAM~!!
- THE PRICEMASTER HAS SPOKEN -
I'm taking some time off dating for a while.
Which means my body is going to be like Prairie Chapel Ranch because I'm going Full Bush 😎👉👉
Which means my body is going to be like Prairie Chapel Ranch because I'm going Full Bush 😎👉👉
January 14, 2026 at 2:08 AM
I'm taking some time off dating for a while.
Which means my body is going to be like Prairie Chapel Ranch because I'm going Full Bush 😎👉👉
Which means my body is going to be like Prairie Chapel Ranch because I'm going Full Bush 😎👉👉
It's okay to hold two beliefs that contradict one another. Not every human experience needs to be completely logically consistent. It's okay to just be.
January 13, 2026 at 3:22 PM
It's okay to hold two beliefs that contradict one another. Not every human experience needs to be completely logically consistent. It's okay to just be.
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
The bread I bought has slices that are too big.
It makes overwhelming toast.
This is a total disaster.
It makes overwhelming toast.
This is a total disaster.
January 13, 2026 at 12:54 PM
The bread I bought has slices that are too big.
It makes overwhelming toast.
This is a total disaster.
It makes overwhelming toast.
This is a total disaster.
I'm a goon for VHS
January 13, 2026 at 1:19 AM
I'm a goon for VHS
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
all at once a queer accident happened
December 30, 2025 at 1:47 PM
all at once a queer accident happened
My favorite thing about cooking fish is that you can't burn it due to their aquatic origin
December 27, 2025 at 9:27 PM
My favorite thing about cooking fish is that you can't burn it due to their aquatic origin
Is it inappropriate to follow people on insta who negged you on a dating app?
December 26, 2025 at 11:51 AM
Is it inappropriate to follow people on insta who negged you on a dating app?
Just learned I'm older than Leslie Knope is in the first season of Parks and Rec.
If you need me, I'll be swallowing glass.
If you need me, I'll be swallowing glass.
December 15, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Just learned I'm older than Leslie Knope is in the first season of Parks and Rec.
If you need me, I'll be swallowing glass.
If you need me, I'll be swallowing glass.
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me
December 12, 2025 at 3:47 PM
I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me
At work, you might be able to have your phone volume up or stink like BO, but you should never do both.
December 10, 2025 at 6:23 PM
At work, you might be able to have your phone volume up or stink like BO, but you should never do both.