Steven Perkins
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stevenperkins.bsky.social
Steven Perkins
@stevenperkins.bsky.social
920 followers 770 following 4.8K posts
A bomb-diggy drum coming at ya with the poof (he/him)
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stevenperkins.bsky.social
‘Hold Me Closer’ by Cornelia Jakobs just came on Spotify
Meme of a fluffy cat sitting in a garden with its head tipped back and its mouth wide open, as though it is singing along with all its heart
November 28, 2025 at 4:33 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
oh I went to university with like 20 of this guy
When a doctor told me I'd come close to dying, and that the play had to stop using real knives, I remember thinking: "You just don't understand theatre."
November 28, 2025 at 8:56 AM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
Waitrose calling their new loyalty scheme “little treats” is cute but frankly I do not appreciate being told I cannot have any more little treats this month
You've enjoyed all your Little Treats this month. More treats will be here soon.
November 27, 2025 at 3:59 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
people who say stuff like this should be banned from being journalists
Box office or let down? It's down to the questions Katie Razzall Media editor This committee should be box office.
November 24, 2025 at 3:37 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
Incredible juxtaposition here
Two headlines on Apple News. The first, from Taylor: “'I had cancer... I just want to give you a hug': Princess of Wales shares moving moment with pop star Jessie J, who recently finis...” The second, from The Times: “This is why teen girls don’t want to get married”
November 20, 2025 at 11:05 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
Are Downton Abbey-branded gammon flavour crisps a bit on the nose as a concept
A packet of Tyrrell’s “honey-glazed glorious gammon flavour” crisps with the new Downton Abbey film advertised on the packet
November 15, 2025 at 11:19 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
lol
Me writing “I'm Queeeeeen Cathreeeeeeeeen, I'm elegant and supreeeeeme” as a text box pops up and asks “Are you writing in Dutch; Flemish?”
November 13, 2025 at 8:28 AM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
This is the funniest thing I have ever heard
Nick Mohammed explained: "All your devices are taken from you. I was allowed one phone conversation a day with the kids. You are isolated from the outside world. "We weren't even allowed to know the time. So when we were in the castle, you'd be like 'What's the time?' And they'd be like 'It's Traitors time'." Nick continued: "Every single member of production had to just answer with that until someone kicked off and they said, 'It's a basic human right, you can just tell us the time, it doesn't mean anything!'."
November 9, 2025 at 12:52 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
The Mamdani sign generator altered to read “KIPPERS for breakfast, Aunt Helga? Is it St. Swithin’s Day already?”
November 8, 2025 at 11:24 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
oh my god FUCK OFF
Some dickhead’s terrible idea of putting a giant grey semicircle over the right hand side of a column of text with “swipe left for next article” on it
November 7, 2025 at 1:23 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
In the words of Mel Giedroyc: get a grip. Get a ruddy grip.
BBC iPlayer homepage showing “LIVE: Countdown to The Celebrity Traitors Finale: BBC News counts down to the TV event of the year - will the faithful defeat the traitors?”
November 6, 2025 at 7:50 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
on the bright side: Sarah Hadland absolutely *serving*
Sarah Hadland standing side-on with her arms folded in her very best Apprentice cosplay of a billowing red blouse and a high-waisted slim fitting black skirt
November 5, 2025 at 10:19 AM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
The BBC simply refusing to take no for an answer, I see
A screenshot of the cast announcement for Celebrity Apprentice showing Thomas Skinner
November 5, 2025 at 9:55 AM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
the Wendy's logo
November 1, 2025 at 7:18 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
to be fair it's also quite absurd to think that there's going to be some sort of King Ralph incident where the seven people ahead of him all perish but 65-year-old Andrew Mountbatten Windsor is still kicking around
November 1, 2025 at 6:51 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
Screengrab from The Simpsons of two inspectors from children’s services holding up Maggie and remarking “stupid babies need the most attention”
November 1, 2025 at 9:33 AM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
Trying to fill in the gaps from my #TheArchers hiatus and Google’s AI is as helpful as ever. (Unless I missed something very dramatic, I’m pretty sure the mother of Shula’s
children is… Shula.)
AI summary for Google search “rochelle the archers”: “Rochelle is a character on the BBC radio drama The Archers, played by actress Rosie Stancliffe. She is the mother of Shula's children, but her sudden reappearance has left many listeners and characters mystified and suspicious, and there is speculation about her past and true motives, including a connection to an animal rights group.”
October 31, 2025 at 7:16 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
my emails after online shopping
Still of Lisa Simpson looking desperate and pleading “Grade me! Look at me! Evaluate and rank me! Oh!”
October 31, 2025 at 8:46 AM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
me waking up in the morning after a refreshing three hours' sleep
Celia Imrie on Celebrity Traitors opening a sealed letter and reading it. The subtitle on screen says "Am I dead?"
October 30, 2025 at 9:17 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
Sorry but this is unacceptable when Celebrity Traitors starts in 16 minutes????
Sign for the Northern Line saying the next train isn’t for another five minutes
October 29, 2025 at 8:46 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
I ask the questions that the professional film critics are simply too cowardly to acknowledge
“Unrelated: what if the real reason Natalie Wood went insane in Splendor in the Grass was because she'd never had a pizza”
October 28, 2025 at 5:08 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
Adverts should be representative of traditional British families.
A still from the “red car and blue car had a race” Milky Way advert
October 27, 2025 at 3:21 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
wow the nepotism at the BBC is out of control
A screengrab of Fleur East presenting Strictly: It Takes Two, during the credits where the producer is "Fleur Cousens"
October 24, 2025 at 7:06 PM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
I was trying to remember which episodes of The Simpsons it is where Marge rapes Homer (yes, unfortunately, there is an episode where that happens) and the Google AI overview is giving strong "...and there never was" vibes
"AI Overview: there is no Simpsons episode where Marge rapes Homer. The user is likely misremembering the plot of the episode 'Homer Badman', where a woman falsely accuses Homer of sexual harassment, but Marge is not involved in this plotline. The episode is about Homer having to clear his name of the false accusation."
October 24, 2025 at 11:04 AM
stevenperkins.bsky.social
Pop singers The Reynolds Girls say ‘I’d rather jack’ than Fleetwood Mac
Filmmaker Guillermo del Toro says 'I'd rather die' than use generative Al
October 24, 2025 at 7:41 AM