Sorrowscopes
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Things are terrible
(we follow our contributors)
(we follow our contributors)
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Sorrowscopes
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
· Nov 14
A lot of very funny and talented people have written for Sorrowscopes over the years- here they are!
bsky.app/starter-pack...
bsky.app/starter-pack...
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
November 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Aries: Is this the best you can do? Seriously?
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Aries: Is this the best you can do? Seriously?
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Taurus: Make time for your family this week. You might need a kidney some day.
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Taurus: Make time for your family this week. You might need a kidney some day.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Cancer: The pattern of your sweat stain on your T-shirt is the closest you’ve come to making art in years. What happened to you? What happened to that passionate child you used to be?
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Cancer: The pattern of your sweat stain on your T-shirt is the closest you’ve come to making art in years. What happened to you? What happened to that passionate child you used to be?
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Leo: Congratulations! Or deepest sympathies. It's still unclear.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Leo: Congratulations! Or deepest sympathies. It's still unclear.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Virgo: Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. Not today though. Today it is Jeff.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Virgo: Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. Not today though. Today it is Jeff.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Libra: Big changes are in store for you at work this week! (A slightly faster printer.)
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Libra: Big changes are in store for you at work this week! (A slightly faster printer.)
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Scorpio: You’ll wake up with a feeling of doom and ennui. Don’t be overly concerned. Eventually the sun will envelop the earth.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Scorpio: You’ll wake up with a feeling of doom and ennui. Don’t be overly concerned. Eventually the sun will envelop the earth.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Sagittarius: Your family has already planted a tree on the spot where you're to be buried. It's nothing sinister exactly they just all agree it should be "so big and hungry for [you]." Little bit sinister.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Sagittarius: Your family has already planted a tree on the spot where you're to be buried. It's nothing sinister exactly they just all agree it should be "so big and hungry for [you]." Little bit sinister.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Capricorn: Prepare for a busy, productive day (you’ll be forced into harvesting ore).
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Capricorn: Prepare for a busy, productive day (you’ll be forced into harvesting ore).
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Aquarius: Some self reflection will show you that you and your partner have a symbiotic relationship, in that you turn them into a darker version of Spider-Man.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Aquarius: Some self reflection will show you that you and your partner have a symbiotic relationship, in that you turn them into a darker version of Spider-Man.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Pisces: Your brain fog will lift just in time to see your mental ship dashed against some psychic rocks.
November 9, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Pisces: Your brain fog will lift just in time to see your mental ship dashed against some psychic rocks.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
THE NEW SORROWSCOPES ARE HERE! TELL YOUR FRIENDS. TELL YOUR ENEMIES. TELL THE GHOSTS OF THE SALEM WITCHES WHO CRY FOR JUSTICE
October 20, 2024 at 6:29 PM
THE NEW SORROWSCOPES ARE HERE! TELL YOUR FRIENDS. TELL YOUR ENEMIES. TELL THE GHOSTS OF THE SALEM WITCHES WHO CRY FOR JUSTICE
SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
November 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
Aries: Is this the best you can do? Seriously?
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Aries: Is this the best you can do? Seriously?
Taurus: Make time for your family this week. You might need a kidney some day.
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Taurus: Make time for your family this week. You might need a kidney some day.
Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
Cancer: The pattern of your sweat stain on your T-shirt is the closest you’ve come to making art in years. What happened to you? What happened to that passionate child you used to be?
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Cancer: The pattern of your sweat stain on your T-shirt is the closest you’ve come to making art in years. What happened to you? What happened to that passionate child you used to be?
Leo: Congratulations! Or deepest sympathies. It's still unclear.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Leo: Congratulations! Or deepest sympathies. It's still unclear.
Virgo: Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. Not today though. Today it is Jeff.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Virgo: Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. Not today though. Today it is Jeff.
Libra: Big changes are in store for you at work this week! (A slightly faster printer.)
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Libra: Big changes are in store for you at work this week! (A slightly faster printer.)
Scorpio: You’ll wake up with a feeling of doom and ennui. Don’t be overly concerned. Eventually the sun will envelop the earth.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Scorpio: You’ll wake up with a feeling of doom and ennui. Don’t be overly concerned. Eventually the sun will envelop the earth.
Sagittarius: Your family has already planted a tree on the spot where you're to be buried. It's nothing sinister exactly they just all agree it should be "so big and hungry for [you]." Little bit sinister.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Sagittarius: Your family has already planted a tree on the spot where you're to be buried. It's nothing sinister exactly they just all agree it should be "so big and hungry for [you]." Little bit sinister.
Capricorn: Prepare for a busy, productive day (you’ll be forced into harvesting ore).
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Capricorn: Prepare for a busy, productive day (you’ll be forced into harvesting ore).