Domesticated Primate
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smokingmonkey.bsky.social
Domesticated Primate
@smokingmonkey.bsky.social
unlicensed shaman, amateur psychoanalyst, Taoist Discordian, veteran psychonaut, and generally pleasant traveling companion
Pinned
“If you think there’s a solution, you’re part of the problem” ~George Carlin
Booking agents at venues will straight up fucking ghost you during booking negotiations that they initiated.

Seriously, I am a fucking adult, I have been doing this shit for decades. Just say “no”, for fucks sake, ghosting a convo is juvenile, disrespectful, and fucking unprofessional
November 18, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Reposted by Domesticated Primate
"phillip k dick, but stupid" describes everything now
November 11, 2025 at 7:29 PM
You know it’s too bad that Larry Flynt isn’t still alive, because you just know he’d be offering 10’s of Millions of dollars for those pictures

#whatsalittleblowjobbetweenfriends
November 14, 2025 at 7:50 PM
So... just a "normal" hat then....
YouTube video by Animation Bakery
youtube.com
November 13, 2025 at 5:12 AM
just made a deal that'll keep the Empire out of here forever.” -Tim Kaine probably 11/10/2026
November 10, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Useless, mealy-mouthed, spineless, corrupt fucking boomercrats
November 10, 2025 at 3:41 AM
When my dog decides to sit at the front window and bark at random shit, I like to ask him:

“What do your pup eyes see, Dogolas?”

He never seems to get the reference. I, however, am endlessly amused by my own cleverness
November 2, 2025 at 6:49 PM
It’s weird to me that in the US, conservatives are now pushing radical changes to government and liberals are trying to conserve government

Fucking bizarro world man
October 20, 2025 at 4:09 PM
War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength
“Stabilizing Argentina is America First”
October 11, 2025 at 2:18 AM
I could get so much more done if I didn’t have so much shit to do.
September 29, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Well, I’m waiting…
September 22, 2025 at 1:03 AM
And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
September 18, 2025 at 3:09 PM
The best possible description that I have been able to come up with for fascism, is that it is “political narcissism”.
September 14, 2025 at 6:00 PM
28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds
September 11, 2025 at 11:43 AM
Thoughts and prayers
September 10, 2025 at 8:00 PM
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice and I’m saying it again: “The guy sure looks like plant food to me”.
September 9, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Boooooo
September 2, 2025 at 6:48 PM
So if/when he emerges if he sees his shadow we get 6 more weeks of fascism, is that correct?
September 2, 2025 at 6:47 PM
“You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you’re not a man,you’re a chicken boo”

Just sayin
September 2, 2025 at 5:09 PM
No, no, no, y’all’ve got it wrong. They’re not “Weekend at Bernie’s”-ing his bloated corpse, they’re doing a “Dave” on that shit
August 31, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Reposted by Domesticated Primate
Bedknobs and Boomsticks: in which Ash is sent by the Necronomicon Ex Morits to the English countryside during the Battle of Britain. Where he stops a local witch and her child slaves from raising an army of Deadites. Accidentally allowing the Nazis to conquer England.

Jump scares and hilarity
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
April 4, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Goddamnit I had a long mutipost going about entropy and balance and chaos and order and creation and destruction, accidentally got stoned and distracted. Now it’s gone and I couldn’t be fucked to type all that nonsense out again if it were a paying gig

Fuck it. Post.
a woman with orange hair and glasses is standing in a room with other people .
ALT: a woman with orange hair and glasses is standing in a room with other people .
media.tenor.com
August 8, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Right, so the cicadas showed up a couple/few days after I posted about it. Now they can’t shut the fuck up about it.

If you are unfamiliar with the cicada’s song, it’s a lot like screaming in Bug. But it sounds like summer here in the mid-Atlantic
August 1, 2025 at 12:15 AM
I would encourage all Discordians to do EXACTLY this
July 31, 2025 at 11:24 PM
My favorite bit of advertising horseshit is the phrase “save up to 15% or more”

This can literally mean any number between 0 and 100. Which in turn makes it absolutely meaningless
July 31, 2025 at 5:45 PM