Domesticated Primate
@smokingmonkey.bsky.social
unlicensed shaman, amateur psychoanalyst, Taoist Discordian, veteran psychonaut, and generally pleasant traveling companion
Pinned
“If you think there’s a solution, you’re part of the problem” ~George Carlin
Booking agents at venues will straight up fucking ghost you during booking negotiations that they initiated.
Seriously, I am a fucking adult, I have been doing this shit for decades. Just say “no”, for fucks sake, ghosting a convo is juvenile, disrespectful, and fucking unprofessional
Seriously, I am a fucking adult, I have been doing this shit for decades. Just say “no”, for fucks sake, ghosting a convo is juvenile, disrespectful, and fucking unprofessional
November 18, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Booking agents at venues will straight up fucking ghost you during booking negotiations that they initiated.
Seriously, I am a fucking adult, I have been doing this shit for decades. Just say “no”, for fucks sake, ghosting a convo is juvenile, disrespectful, and fucking unprofessional
Seriously, I am a fucking adult, I have been doing this shit for decades. Just say “no”, for fucks sake, ghosting a convo is juvenile, disrespectful, and fucking unprofessional
Reposted by Domesticated Primate
"phillip k dick, but stupid" describes everything now
November 11, 2025 at 7:29 PM
"phillip k dick, but stupid" describes everything now
You know it’s too bad that Larry Flynt isn’t still alive, because you just know he’d be offering 10’s of Millions of dollars for those pictures
#whatsalittleblowjobbetweenfriends
#whatsalittleblowjobbetweenfriends
November 14, 2025 at 7:50 PM
You know it’s too bad that Larry Flynt isn’t still alive, because you just know he’d be offering 10’s of Millions of dollars for those pictures
#whatsalittleblowjobbetweenfriends
#whatsalittleblowjobbetweenfriends
So... just a "normal" hat then....
YouTube video by Animation Bakery
youtube.com
November 13, 2025 at 5:12 AM
just made a deal that'll keep the Empire out of here forever.” -Tim Kaine probably 11/10/2026
November 10, 2025 at 10:03 PM
just made a deal that'll keep the Empire out of here forever.” -Tim Kaine probably 11/10/2026
Useless, mealy-mouthed, spineless, corrupt fucking boomercrats
November 10, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Useless, mealy-mouthed, spineless, corrupt fucking boomercrats
When my dog decides to sit at the front window and bark at random shit, I like to ask him:
“What do your pup eyes see, Dogolas?”
He never seems to get the reference. I, however, am endlessly amused by my own cleverness
“What do your pup eyes see, Dogolas?”
He never seems to get the reference. I, however, am endlessly amused by my own cleverness
November 2, 2025 at 6:49 PM
When my dog decides to sit at the front window and bark at random shit, I like to ask him:
“What do your pup eyes see, Dogolas?”
He never seems to get the reference. I, however, am endlessly amused by my own cleverness
“What do your pup eyes see, Dogolas?”
He never seems to get the reference. I, however, am endlessly amused by my own cleverness
It’s weird to me that in the US, conservatives are now pushing radical changes to government and liberals are trying to conserve government
Fucking bizarro world man
Fucking bizarro world man
October 20, 2025 at 4:09 PM
It’s weird to me that in the US, conservatives are now pushing radical changes to government and liberals are trying to conserve government
Fucking bizarro world man
Fucking bizarro world man
War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength
“Stabilizing Argentina is America First”
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength
“Stabilizing Argentina is America First”
October 11, 2025 at 2:18 AM
War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength
“Stabilizing Argentina is America First”
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength
“Stabilizing Argentina is America First”
I could get so much more done if I didn’t have so much shit to do.
September 29, 2025 at 9:58 PM
I could get so much more done if I didn’t have so much shit to do.
Well, I’m waiting…
September 22, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Well, I’m waiting…
And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
September 18, 2025 at 3:09 PM
And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
The best possible description that I have been able to come up with for fascism, is that it is “political narcissism”.
September 14, 2025 at 6:00 PM
The best possible description that I have been able to come up with for fascism, is that it is “political narcissism”.
28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds
September 11, 2025 at 11:43 AM
28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds
Thoughts and prayers
September 10, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Thoughts and prayers
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice and I’m saying it again: “The guy sure looks like plant food to me”.
September 9, 2025 at 5:36 PM
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice and I’m saying it again: “The guy sure looks like plant food to me”.
So if/when he emerges if he sees his shadow we get 6 more weeks of fascism, is that correct?
September 2, 2025 at 6:47 PM
So if/when he emerges if he sees his shadow we get 6 more weeks of fascism, is that correct?
“You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you’re not a man,you’re a chicken boo”
Just sayin
Just sayin
September 2, 2025 at 5:09 PM
“You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you’re not a man,you’re a chicken boo”
Just sayin
Just sayin
No, no, no, y’all’ve got it wrong. They’re not “Weekend at Bernie’s”-ing his bloated corpse, they’re doing a “Dave” on that shit
August 31, 2025 at 4:09 PM
No, no, no, y’all’ve got it wrong. They’re not “Weekend at Bernie’s”-ing his bloated corpse, they’re doing a “Dave” on that shit
Reposted by Domesticated Primate
Bedknobs and Boomsticks: in which Ash is sent by the Necronomicon Ex Morits to the English countryside during the Battle of Britain. Where he stops a local witch and her child slaves from raising an army of Deadites. Accidentally allowing the Nazis to conquer England.
Jump scares and hilarity
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Jump scares and hilarity
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
April 4, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Bedknobs and Boomsticks: in which Ash is sent by the Necronomicon Ex Morits to the English countryside during the Battle of Britain. Where he stops a local witch and her child slaves from raising an army of Deadites. Accidentally allowing the Nazis to conquer England.
Jump scares and hilarity
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Jump scares and hilarity
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Goddamnit I had a long mutipost going about entropy and balance and chaos and order and creation and destruction, accidentally got stoned and distracted. Now it’s gone and I couldn’t be fucked to type all that nonsense out again if it were a paying gig
Fuck it. Post.
Fuck it. Post.
a woman with orange hair and glasses is standing in a room with other people .
ALT: a woman with orange hair and glasses is standing in a room with other people .
media.tenor.com
August 8, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Goddamnit I had a long mutipost going about entropy and balance and chaos and order and creation and destruction, accidentally got stoned and distracted. Now it’s gone and I couldn’t be fucked to type all that nonsense out again if it were a paying gig
Fuck it. Post.
Fuck it. Post.
Right, so the cicadas showed up a couple/few days after I posted about it. Now they can’t shut the fuck up about it.
If you are unfamiliar with the cicada’s song, it’s a lot like screaming in Bug. But it sounds like summer here in the mid-Atlantic
If you are unfamiliar with the cicada’s song, it’s a lot like screaming in Bug. But it sounds like summer here in the mid-Atlantic
August 1, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Right, so the cicadas showed up a couple/few days after I posted about it. Now they can’t shut the fuck up about it.
If you are unfamiliar with the cicada’s song, it’s a lot like screaming in Bug. But it sounds like summer here in the mid-Atlantic
If you are unfamiliar with the cicada’s song, it’s a lot like screaming in Bug. But it sounds like summer here in the mid-Atlantic
I would encourage all Discordians to do EXACTLY this
July 31, 2025 at 11:24 PM
I would encourage all Discordians to do EXACTLY this
My favorite bit of advertising horseshit is the phrase “save up to 15% or more”
This can literally mean any number between 0 and 100. Which in turn makes it absolutely meaningless
This can literally mean any number between 0 and 100. Which in turn makes it absolutely meaningless
July 31, 2025 at 5:45 PM
My favorite bit of advertising horseshit is the phrase “save up to 15% or more”
This can literally mean any number between 0 and 100. Which in turn makes it absolutely meaningless
This can literally mean any number between 0 and 100. Which in turn makes it absolutely meaningless