Zohran! 🎉

This, but less cutesy

This is both my fighting and interpretive dance style

Sorrynotsorry: local union buster/"chef" Ann Kim's continual (deserved) misfortune makes me feel better. Good riddance, Young Joni! My only wish is that her long suffering staff find better employment. #stillthenastiesthater Here is your sign to be a good human today at your job

All he wants is for someone - literally anyone - to genuinely love or even like him. It will never, ever happen

This checks out

I'm so bummed. Wait...does anyone think this will buff out?

🎶 Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history! From the town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree! 🎵

I have kept this image in my phone for six years because, well -

Generational talent

Neil Hamburger never fails to heal my soul. I needed that. We took an uber that ended up being a Tesla and lived to tell you about it. (I'm a huge fan of not being on fire.) On to February.

It is important to me that I have a variety of writing instruments surrounding me, always. Standard pencils included for this very reason

*banana horse