SimpsonsQOTD
@simpsonsqotd.bsky.social
Ah! I love these lazy Saturdays.
Pinned
"Oh, save me, Jebus!"
December 9, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Oh, save me, Jebus!"
"Well, you know, the problem
here was water leakage.
If you just buy a 50-cent washer..."
"I've got a better idea.
Get the hell out!"
"Look, I got some washers in my truck.
I'll give you one."
"Marge, get my gun."
here was water leakage.
If you just buy a 50-cent washer..."
"I've got a better idea.
Get the hell out!"
"Look, I got some washers in my truck.
I'll give you one."
"Marge, get my gun."
December 8, 2025 at 7:03 PM
"Well, you know, the problem
here was water leakage.
If you just buy a 50-cent washer..."
"I've got a better idea.
Get the hell out!"
"Look, I got some washers in my truck.
I'll give you one."
"Marge, get my gun."
here was water leakage.
If you just buy a 50-cent washer..."
"I've got a better idea.
Get the hell out!"
"Look, I got some washers in my truck.
I'll give you one."
"Marge, get my gun."
"Ah, he's still repressing.
Maximum hostility factor."
"'I engaged in intercourse with your
spouse or significant other.'
Now, that's psychiatry. Huh? Huh?"
"Very funny, wise guy."
Maximum hostility factor."
"'I engaged in intercourse with your
spouse or significant other.'
Now, that's psychiatry. Huh? Huh?"
"Very funny, wise guy."
December 7, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Ah, he's still repressing.
Maximum hostility factor."
"'I engaged in intercourse with your
spouse or significant other.'
Now, that's psychiatry. Huh? Huh?"
"Very funny, wise guy."
Maximum hostility factor."
"'I engaged in intercourse with your
spouse or significant other.'
Now, that's psychiatry. Huh? Huh?"
"Very funny, wise guy."
"Are you guys working?"
"Yes, sir, Mr. Simpson."
"Could you, um, work any harder than this?"
"Sure thing, boss."
"Yes, sir, Mr. Simpson."
"Could you, um, work any harder than this?"
"Sure thing, boss."
December 6, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Are you guys working?"
"Yes, sir, Mr. Simpson."
"Could you, um, work any harder than this?"
"Sure thing, boss."
"Yes, sir, Mr. Simpson."
"Could you, um, work any harder than this?"
"Sure thing, boss."
"Please, don't take the steam tray. Sir?!"
December 5, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Please, don't take the steam tray. Sir?!"
"Johnny Tightlips, where'd they hit you?"
"I ain't saying nothing."
"What do I tell the doctor?"
"Tell him to suck a lemon."
"I ain't saying nothing."
"What do I tell the doctor?"
"Tell him to suck a lemon."
December 3, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Johnny Tightlips, where'd they hit you?"
"I ain't saying nothing."
"What do I tell the doctor?"
"Tell him to suck a lemon."
"I ain't saying nothing."
"What do I tell the doctor?"
"Tell him to suck a lemon."
"You know, I think you're right.
First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going
to punch Lenny in the back of the head."
First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going
to punch Lenny in the back of the head."
December 2, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"You know, I think you're right.
First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going
to punch Lenny in the back of the head."
First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going
to punch Lenny in the back of the head."
"Wow. Even Moe's moved to fancy new digs."
"Hey, this isn't faux dive.
This is a dive."
"You're a long way from home, yuppie boy.
I'll start a tab."
"Hey, this isn't faux dive.
This is a dive."
"You're a long way from home, yuppie boy.
I'll start a tab."
December 1, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Wow. Even Moe's moved to fancy new digs."
"Hey, this isn't faux dive.
This is a dive."
"You're a long way from home, yuppie boy.
I'll start a tab."
"Hey, this isn't faux dive.
This is a dive."
"You're a long way from home, yuppie boy.
I'll start a tab."
"You'd better have a good reason for doing that, boy."
"It makes me feel like a big man."
"Let me check my reason list. Yep, it's on here."
"It makes me feel like a big man."
"Let me check my reason list. Yep, it's on here."
November 30, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"You'd better have a good reason for doing that, boy."
"It makes me feel like a big man."
"Let me check my reason list. Yep, it's on here."
"It makes me feel like a big man."
"Let me check my reason list. Yep, it's on here."
"You're right! I've been wasting my
life away in that dump for years.
That's it! I'm going to find a new bar to drink in
and I'm going to get drunker than
I've ever been in my entire life!
Bart, where's my wallet?"
"Right here, dad."
life away in that dump for years.
That's it! I'm going to find a new bar to drink in
and I'm going to get drunker than
I've ever been in my entire life!
Bart, where's my wallet?"
"Right here, dad."
November 29, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"You're right! I've been wasting my
life away in that dump for years.
That's it! I'm going to find a new bar to drink in
and I'm going to get drunker than
I've ever been in my entire life!
Bart, where's my wallet?"
"Right here, dad."
life away in that dump for years.
That's it! I'm going to find a new bar to drink in
and I'm going to get drunker than
I've ever been in my entire life!
Bart, where's my wallet?"
"Right here, dad."
"Hey, miss doesn't-find-me- attractive-sexually-anymore
I just tripled my productivity."
I just tripled my productivity."
November 28, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Hey, miss doesn't-find-me- attractive-sexually-anymore
I just tripled my productivity."
I just tripled my productivity."
"It was the best thanksgiving ever.
I mean, emotionally, it was terrible
but the turkey was so moist."
I mean, emotionally, it was terrible
but the turkey was so moist."
November 27, 2025 at 7:04 PM
"It was the best thanksgiving ever.
I mean, emotionally, it was terrible
but the turkey was so moist."
I mean, emotionally, it was terrible
but the turkey was so moist."
"Homer, that crazy lady who lives
in our trash pile attacked me again."
"That's not the way she tells it."
in our trash pile attacked me again."
"That's not the way she tells it."
November 26, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Homer, that crazy lady who lives
in our trash pile attacked me again."
"That's not the way she tells it."
in our trash pile attacked me again."
"That's not the way she tells it."
"Fiddle-dee-dee.
That will require a tetanus shot."
That will require a tetanus shot."
November 25, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Fiddle-dee-dee.
That will require a tetanus shot."
That will require a tetanus shot."
"Two wrongs don't make a right, Bart."
"Yes, they do."
"No, they don't. Dad!"
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
"Yes, they do."
"No, they don't. Dad!"
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
November 24, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Two wrongs don't make a right, Bart."
"Yes, they do."
"No, they don't. Dad!"
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
"Yes, they do."
"No, they don't. Dad!"
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
"One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere.
Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe
So I decided to go to Morganville,
which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time..."
Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe
So I decided to go to Morganville,
which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time..."
November 23, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere.
Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe
So I decided to go to Morganville,
which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time..."
Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe
So I decided to go to Morganville,
which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time..."
"Give it up, dad, piggy ain't coming back."
November 22, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Give it up, dad, piggy ain't coming back."
"Mr. Hutz, do you know you're not wearing any pants?"
"What?"
"What?"
November 20, 2025 at 7:03 PM
"Mr. Hutz, do you know you're not wearing any pants?"
"What?"
"What?"
"In case all that smiling didn't cheer you up there's one thing that never fails:
A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy."
A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy."
November 19, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"In case all that smiling didn't cheer you up there's one thing that never fails:
A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy."
A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy."
"So that's it? After 20 years, so long, good luck?"
"I don't recall saying good luck."
"I don't recall saying good luck."
November 18, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"So that's it? After 20 years, so long, good luck?"
"I don't recall saying good luck."
"I don't recall saying good luck."
"Nobody ruins my family vacation but me and maybe the boy."
November 17, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"Nobody ruins my family vacation but me and maybe the boy."
"Welcome to remedial science 1-A.
My wife recently passed away.
I thought teaching might ease my loneliness."
"Will this be on the test?"
"No."
My wife recently passed away.
I thought teaching might ease my loneliness."
"Will this be on the test?"
"No."
November 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"Welcome to remedial science 1-A.
My wife recently passed away.
I thought teaching might ease my loneliness."
"Will this be on the test?"
"No."
My wife recently passed away.
I thought teaching might ease my loneliness."
"Will this be on the test?"
"No."
"Hey, they got chairs with wheels.
And here I am, using my legs like a sucker."
And here I am, using my legs like a sucker."
November 15, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Hey, they got chairs with wheels.
And here I am, using my legs like a sucker."
And here I am, using my legs like a sucker."