Sexual Wizard
@sexualwizard.bsky.social
livin (and bonin) in an ancient hollow tree with perkins the intolerable owl and rizigar the worthless manservant. i have no onlyfans, so email me for 348 tips that will drive witches wild and some wizards too c'mon y'all
I was number 69 on every app
September 17, 2024 at 5:58 AM
I was number 69 on every app
smh this is unbelievable my tome where I keep a record of every sex potion I have ever concocted has a solid 30% of its pages stuck together and that is absolutely NOT how these elixirs are intended to be utilized.
RIZIGAR!! COME HERE THIS INSTANT.
RIZIGAR!! COME HERE THIS INSTANT.
September 13, 2024 at 8:34 PM
smh this is unbelievable my tome where I keep a record of every sex potion I have ever concocted has a solid 30% of its pages stuck together and that is absolutely NOT how these elixirs are intended to be utilized.
RIZIGAR!! COME HERE THIS INSTANT.
RIZIGAR!! COME HERE THIS INSTANT.
you can take one look at that big dumb doofus and know that he knows precisely nothing about "eating the cats" if you are picking up what I'm putting down here hint hint yes I am indeed talking about pussy
September 13, 2024 at 8:24 PM
you can take one look at that big dumb doofus and know that he knows precisely nothing about "eating the cats" if you are picking up what I'm putting down here hint hint yes I am indeed talking about pussy
Fall 2024 sexy sex potion time
take one (1) cinnamon stick, use a good food-grade vibrator to grind it up real fine and add five candy corns, four drops of wyvern cum, pour it into a starbucks PSL, and have your naughty neighbor yell at it a little before drinking it down before going downtown.
take one (1) cinnamon stick, use a good food-grade vibrator to grind it up real fine and add five candy corns, four drops of wyvern cum, pour it into a starbucks PSL, and have your naughty neighbor yell at it a little before drinking it down before going downtown.
September 13, 2024 at 8:10 PM
Fall 2024 sexy sex potion time
take one (1) cinnamon stick, use a good food-grade vibrator to grind it up real fine and add five candy corns, four drops of wyvern cum, pour it into a starbucks PSL, and have your naughty neighbor yell at it a little before drinking it down before going downtown.
take one (1) cinnamon stick, use a good food-grade vibrator to grind it up real fine and add five candy corns, four drops of wyvern cum, pour it into a starbucks PSL, and have your naughty neighbor yell at it a little before drinking it down before going downtown.
oh the obvious answer is one of those hot dog toasters they used to sell at the sharper image
If you could have sex with a personified version of any household appliance, what would you choose?
Me, I’m going vacuum
Me, I’m going vacuum
September 21, 2023 at 4:40 AM
oh the obvious answer is one of those hot dog toasters they used to sell at the sharper image
waiiiiiiiiit a minute.... falcor is a *L*UCK dragon?? oh my lands, i have made a terrible mistake
September 21, 2023 at 4:24 AM
waiiiiiiiiit a minute.... falcor is a *L*UCK dragon?? oh my lands, i have made a terrible mistake
how come everyone is so horny for some dumb zigzaggity building instead of this strapping wizard with a literal sack full of chests stuffed with dildos for every being in every species (and also a jar of bee buttholes please don't tell the FDA)
September 21, 2023 at 4:20 AM
how come everyone is so horny for some dumb zigzaggity building instead of this strapping wizard with a literal sack full of chests stuffed with dildos for every being in every species (and also a jar of bee buttholes please don't tell the FDA)
lowkey kinda jealous that literally any skeleton can take off their femur and use it as a dildo or a xylophone mallet
September 21, 2023 at 12:19 AM
lowkey kinda jealous that literally any skeleton can take off their femur and use it as a dildo or a xylophone mallet
I just tried to transmogrify my very own sexy alf hog and I regret this choice so very much where's the nearest magical exterminator because this thing simply will NOT stop
September 20, 2023 at 6:59 PM
I just tried to transmogrify my very own sexy alf hog and I regret this choice so very much where's the nearest magical exterminator because this thing simply will NOT stop
nobody spill the beans! moments before i left twitter i slipped elon what he thought was one of my patented sex potions and i said it'd help him make more babies named after a handful of smashed typewriter keys but tee heee hee it actually makes it so he has random cums whenever he speaks 🤭💦
September 20, 2023 at 5:50 AM
nobody spill the beans! moments before i left twitter i slipped elon what he thought was one of my patented sex potions and i said it'd help him make more babies named after a handful of smashed typewriter keys but tee heee hee it actually makes it so he has random cums whenever he speaks 🤭💦
worry not, damsel! for you can clean off the reagent that emerged from my wand with this magical paper towel
September 19, 2023 at 9:57 PM
worry not, damsel! for you can clean off the reagent that emerged from my wand with this magical paper towel
all you ladies on etsy are gonna flip when you see my awesome hand made wizard jorts $5.98 and if you want my essence in them, $6.95
September 19, 2023 at 9:57 PM
all you ladies on etsy are gonna flip when you see my awesome hand made wizard jorts $5.98 and if you want my essence in them, $6.95
my secret alchemical process consumes the intimate apparel section of the Sears Wishbook and produces a special compound for you
September 19, 2023 at 9:56 PM
my secret alchemical process consumes the intimate apparel section of the Sears Wishbook and produces a special compound for you
Magick is real and so are Pokemon
September 19, 2023 at 9:55 PM
Magick is real and so are Pokemon
a cautionary tale to my magickal brethren: don't get a ceiling fan!!!! Can someone come over with a broom and help me retrieve my hat pls
September 19, 2023 at 9:53 PM
a cautionary tale to my magickal brethren: don't get a ceiling fan!!!! Can someone come over with a broom and help me retrieve my hat pls
how come you never hear about two ghosts fucking?
September 19, 2023 at 9:52 PM
how come you never hear about two ghosts fucking?
Sexy potion portions portend the plying of panties
September 19, 2023 at 9:51 PM
Sexy potion portions portend the plying of panties
If i'm so powerful, how come i keep making such worthless taquitos this is unbelievable such a failure
September 19, 2023 at 9:50 PM
If i'm so powerful, how come i keep making such worthless taquitos this is unbelievable such a failure
your honor lets be honest with one another a restraining order is absurd when one can cast a spell to make ones boner close that distance
September 19, 2023 at 9:50 PM
your honor lets be honest with one another a restraining order is absurd when one can cast a spell to make ones boner close that distance
well doc, i was trying to get on this broomstick to fly and i slipped and shooop up it went
September 19, 2023 at 9:50 PM
well doc, i was trying to get on this broomstick to fly and i slipped and shooop up it went
girl i want you to move south of the equator like the sun on the vernal equinox
September 19, 2023 at 9:49 PM
girl i want you to move south of the equator like the sun on the vernal equinox
sex potion for the ladies to use on your favorite wizard: bottom shelf rum, 1 popcorn jelly belly, down the hatch and a punch in the gut
September 19, 2023 at 9:49 PM
sex potion for the ladies to use on your favorite wizard: bottom shelf rum, 1 popcorn jelly belly, down the hatch and a punch in the gut
playing strip poker with these tarot cards turned out to be a biiiiiig mistake
September 19, 2023 at 9:48 PM
playing strip poker with these tarot cards turned out to be a biiiiiig mistake
no officer i have never seen the lady in the photo and yes i’ve always had that frog
September 19, 2023 at 9:47 PM
no officer i have never seen the lady in the photo and yes i’ve always had that frog
i put a magic mirror above my bed but forgot that its got a talking dude in it ughhhhh go awayyyyy
September 19, 2023 at 9:47 PM
i put a magic mirror above my bed but forgot that its got a talking dude in it ughhhhh go awayyyyy