Serious Llama
@seriousllama.bsky.social
Murder Muppet and @benharris1.bsky.social’s Person, fan of camelids, & etc. DC will always be home, but my heart also belongs to CA, CO, and NM.
Wearing mittens has caused me to realize how much I rely on being able to display my middle digit.
January 30, 2026 at 3:44 PM
Wearing mittens has caused me to realize how much I rely on being able to display my middle digit.
One of the schools where I work with tutoring clients has hired a private snow removal team to clear enough curb-side space for their buses. Good for them, but it’s not a scalable solution and no one is doing the same at charter and DCPS schools (that I’ve seen).
January 29, 2026 at 7:01 PM
One of the schools where I work with tutoring clients has hired a private snow removal team to clear enough curb-side space for their buses. Good for them, but it’s not a scalable solution and no one is doing the same at charter and DCPS schools (that I’ve seen).
I have no idea if there will be available and accessible street parking when I get to work this afternoon or if everything will be a giant ice berm ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
I’d use transit, but 2 of 3 locations I need to visit aren’t on bus routes.
I’d use transit, but 2 of 3 locations I need to visit aren’t on bus routes.
January 29, 2026 at 2:14 PM
I have no idea if there will be available and accessible street parking when I get to work this afternoon or if everything will be a giant ice berm ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
I’d use transit, but 2 of 3 locations I need to visit aren’t on bus routes.
I’d use transit, but 2 of 3 locations I need to visit aren’t on bus routes.
I have done five hours of shoveling over the last two days. If God could send me an ab or some visible biceps, that’d be chill.
January 27, 2026 at 10:43 PM
I have done five hours of shoveling over the last two days. If God could send me an ab or some visible biceps, that’d be chill.
If you’ll ever be out in temps in the teens or lower (or just holding onto a steering wheel in cold weather), down mittens are the GOAT.
January 25, 2026 at 3:41 PM
If you’ll ever be out in temps in the teens or lower (or just holding onto a steering wheel in cold weather), down mittens are the GOAT.
Last night I went to a party at my parents’ house that ended with my 80-year-old stepmother and 75-year-old father drinking straight from a champagne bottle. Proud of my folks.
January 25, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Last night I went to a party at my parents’ house that ended with my 80-year-old stepmother and 75-year-old father drinking straight from a champagne bottle. Proud of my folks.
Everyday this week I’ve thought, “Maybe this cold is ending.” And every day the actual thing that is happening is that OG Sudafed and antihistamines are making my life tolerable.
January 23, 2026 at 5:57 PM
Everyday this week I’ve thought, “Maybe this cold is ending.” And every day the actual thing that is happening is that OG Sudafed and antihistamines are making my life tolerable.
Love a bit of winter color in the garden. My hellebores are setting blooms, and the mahonia is putting on a cheerful show ahead of the impending snow storm.
January 22, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Love a bit of winter color in the garden. My hellebores are setting blooms, and the mahonia is putting on a cheerful show ahead of the impending snow storm.
Sending early morning texts to people in the Mountain and Pacific time zones as a little treat.
January 22, 2026 at 1:32 PM
Sending early morning texts to people in the Mountain and Pacific time zones as a little treat.
Have any journalists looked into the role that Park Police are playing in local policing and immigration-related arrests? Their cruisers and helicopters have been a constant presence in Petworth lately.
January 20, 2026 at 3:34 PM
Have any journalists looked into the role that Park Police are playing in local policing and immigration-related arrests? Their cruisers and helicopters have been a constant presence in Petworth lately.
DC, go to the Luxmuralis show at the Washington National Cathedral this week.
January 20, 2026 at 1:35 AM
DC, go to the Luxmuralis show at the Washington National Cathedral this week.
Signing up for the group fitness class versus attending the class on a Sunday morning is a real sowing/reaping situation.
January 18, 2026 at 3:39 PM
Signing up for the group fitness class versus attending the class on a Sunday morning is a real sowing/reaping situation.
Went out to an art museum and then walked to a bar with my spouse and our mutual friend. On the way to the bar, a pickup with windows down and 3 camouflaged men drove through a x-walk. Dude in the back seat was cradling a rifle. No way to tell if ICE or militia. What a shit situation we’re in.
January 18, 2026 at 1:41 AM
Went out to an art museum and then walked to a bar with my spouse and our mutual friend. On the way to the bar, a pickup with windows down and 3 camouflaged men drove through a x-walk. Dude in the back seat was cradling a rifle. No way to tell if ICE or militia. What a shit situation we’re in.
The design of my apartment can best be described as “Well, choices were made.”
January 17, 2026 at 4:55 PM
The design of my apartment can best be described as “Well, choices were made.”
Reposted by Serious Llama
Seems unfair that you only get to use the bouncy slide to get off a plane when things have gone wrong. The bouncy slide should be a treat they give to the best passengers who did the flight correctly.
January 17, 2026 at 4:17 PM
Seems unfair that you only get to use the bouncy slide to get off a plane when things have gone wrong. The bouncy slide should be a treat they give to the best passengers who did the flight correctly.
In a bar watching some snowboarding documentaries, as one does. All of these dudes are either Brock, Sebastian, or Charles William Johnson III.
January 17, 2026 at 12:01 AM
In a bar watching some snowboarding documentaries, as one does. All of these dudes are either Brock, Sebastian, or Charles William Johnson III.
A student asked me on Wednesday why I was masking again. I said I had gotten a cold over winter break, and it reminded me that I hate being sick.
Child: But I'm not sick!!
Email from child's mother, this morning: Child has been at home yesterday and today with the flu.
🤨
Child: But I'm not sick!!
Email from child's mother, this morning: Child has been at home yesterday and today with the flu.
🤨
January 16, 2026 at 7:37 PM
A student asked me on Wednesday why I was masking again. I said I had gotten a cold over winter break, and it reminded me that I hate being sick.
Child: But I'm not sick!!
Email from child's mother, this morning: Child has been at home yesterday and today with the flu.
🤨
Child: But I'm not sick!!
Email from child's mother, this morning: Child has been at home yesterday and today with the flu.
🤨
The National Park Service can’t find funding to replace a playground they ripped out years ago from Grant Circle in Petworth. They *can* fund Park Service police to sit in a cruiser just outside the circle this morning. And why are their cops doing anything in our neighborhoods?
January 16, 2026 at 4:42 PM
The National Park Service can’t find funding to replace a playground they ripped out years ago from Grant Circle in Petworth. They *can* fund Park Service police to sit in a cruiser just outside the circle this morning. And why are their cops doing anything in our neighborhoods?
To put this in clearer perspective, when Bowser took office in 2015, there were 26 road fatalities the previous year. Last year there were 25 fatalities. In ten years of holding office, Bowser hasn’t meaningfully improved the road fatality rate.
In 2025, DC had the lowest number of roadway fatalities since 2014.
Big picture:
1. Roadway fatalities: -52%
2. Major roadway injuries: -29%
3. Driver fatalities: -67%
Our strategies to improve traffic safety are working.
Big picture:
1. Roadway fatalities: -52%
2. Major roadway injuries: -29%
3. Driver fatalities: -67%
Our strategies to improve traffic safety are working.
January 16, 2026 at 2:12 AM
To put this in clearer perspective, when Bowser took office in 2015, there were 26 road fatalities the previous year. Last year there were 25 fatalities. In ten years of holding office, Bowser hasn’t meaningfully improved the road fatality rate.
Super excited to pay my quarterly taxes today and help fund the federal government, such as it is.
January 15, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Super excited to pay my quarterly taxes today and help fund the federal government, such as it is.
The secret to a last marriage is having tedious bits that neither of you will give up and that you both secretly love.
January 14, 2026 at 9:58 PM
The secret to a last marriage is having tedious bits that neither of you will give up and that you both secretly love.
Maturity is transitioning from being the person who is always late to meetings to being the person who hates when the Zoom is two minutes late to start.
January 14, 2026 at 2:02 PM
Maturity is transitioning from being the person who is always late to meetings to being the person who hates when the Zoom is two minutes late to start.
An American friend of mine has been living in England for the past 20 years. When we visit or text and I update her on on-the-ground realities, we both feel crazy: “Oh yeah, the Guard is just everywhere in DC now,” and “Sure, it’s all beef tallow all the time these days.”
January 14, 2026 at 1:13 PM
An American friend of mine has been living in England for the past 20 years. When we visit or text and I update her on on-the-ground realities, we both feel crazy: “Oh yeah, the Guard is just everywhere in DC now,” and “Sure, it’s all beef tallow all the time these days.”
I just want the Senate to take the president’s threats half as seriously as Denmark does. Convict and remove this time.
BREAKING: Denmark has deployed an advance force and military equipment to Greenland, tasked with preparing to receive reinforcements from the rest of the Danish Armed Forces and allied nations.
Follow the story on DR, Denmark’s public-service news outlet.
www.dr.dk/nyheder/indl...
Follow the story on DR, Denmark’s public-service news outlet.
www.dr.dk/nyheder/indl...
Efter pres fra USA: Danmark er nu begyndt at sende militære forstærkninger til Grønland
En fortrop fra Forsvaret er ankommet til Grønland, erfarer DR.
www.dr.dk
January 14, 2026 at 1:02 PM
I just want the Senate to take the president’s threats half as seriously as Denmark does. Convict and remove this time.