Seantom
@seantom.bsky.social
Comedian. Barista. Homo.
Producer/Host of Don’t Tell Your Mother! Queer Comedy Show
Venmo: Sean-Thomasson-1
https://cash.app/$Seantom88
https://linktr.ee/_seantom_
Producer/Host of Don’t Tell Your Mother! Queer Comedy Show
Venmo: Sean-Thomasson-1
https://cash.app/$Seantom88
https://linktr.ee/_seantom_
I never realize how much I’m holding in my farts until I’m alone in the bathroom and let out a hot air balloon’s worth
November 25, 2025 at 8:56 PM
I never realize how much I’m holding in my farts until I’m alone in the bathroom and let out a hot air balloon’s worth
A movie that takes place where you’re from
November 24, 2025 at 7:17 PM
A movie that takes place where you’re from
Reposted by Seantom
everyone automatically clacks these twice upon picking them up because deep down we all know we’re crabs
February 22, 2024 at 3:14 AM
everyone automatically clacks these twice upon picking them up because deep down we all know we’re crabs
There’s this construction worker just outside my cafe and his arms are massive. I want him to tear me apart.
November 3, 2025 at 6:47 PM
There’s this construction worker just outside my cafe and his arms are massive. I want him to tear me apart.
I miss the days of humans scamming us. AI took that job too. We can’t have anything.
September 27, 2025 at 1:49 PM
I miss the days of humans scamming us. AI took that job too. We can’t have anything.
Satan: here’s your cash back baby girl!
August 26, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Satan: here’s your cash back baby girl!
At a restaurant that skipped a Rihanna song but not a Chris Brown song… send help
August 17, 2025 at 11:59 PM
At a restaurant that skipped a Rihanna song but not a Chris Brown song… send help
Recently an old man commented on my septum piercing, asking ‘is that a fish hook?’ Are you saying I’m a catch? You wanna take care of me?? I wouldn’t expect a corpse to have an original thought but you could at least try. Have a day, sir. Careful down those stairs!
July 28, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Recently an old man commented on my septum piercing, asking ‘is that a fish hook?’ Are you saying I’m a catch? You wanna take care of me?? I wouldn’t expect a corpse to have an original thought but you could at least try. Have a day, sir. Careful down those stairs!
Eating this kale salad like it’ll cancel out the ocean of alcohol in my bloodstream
July 19, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Eating this kale salad like it’ll cancel out the ocean of alcohol in my bloodstream
Trying intermittent fasting has never been so easy (I’m broke)
July 7, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Trying intermittent fasting has never been so easy (I’m broke)
Was almost hit by a car in a crosswalk twice in two days. Twice. I’m so upset. Upset that they didn’t finish the job. Where’s the commitment? Where’s the follow through? What are we even doing?
June 23, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Was almost hit by a car in a crosswalk twice in two days. Twice. I’m so upset. Upset that they didn’t finish the job. Where’s the commitment? Where’s the follow through? What are we even doing?
I JADORE when a customer tips me .25 cents on credit card. After tip share and tax, I will cherish my 2.4 cents
June 21, 2025 at 6:13 PM
I JADORE when a customer tips me .25 cents on credit card. After tip share and tax, I will cherish my 2.4 cents
It’s super neat when it’s supposed to rain 100% just in time for your 20 minute walk to work, stop raining when you get there, then continue to rain once you leave. I was destined to be wet.
May 28, 2025 at 3:17 PM
It’s super neat when it’s supposed to rain 100% just in time for your 20 minute walk to work, stop raining when you get there, then continue to rain once you leave. I was destined to be wet.
Time down in the subway is different. If you’re waiting 10 minutes, it’s actually 25 minutes. If you’re waiting 15 minutes, it’s 2 hours. If it’s 30 minutes, congrats you live here now.
May 27, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Time down in the subway is different. If you’re waiting 10 minutes, it’s actually 25 minutes. If you’re waiting 15 minutes, it’s 2 hours. If it’s 30 minutes, congrats you live here now.
Me: *pointing at baby’s sweater* Oh wow I have that same sweater!
Dad: yes, well her’s is from Baby Gap
Me: I also shop at Baby Gap!
Dad: okay
Men have no sense of humor
Dad: yes, well her’s is from Baby Gap
Me: I also shop at Baby Gap!
Dad: okay
Men have no sense of humor
May 11, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Me: *pointing at baby’s sweater* Oh wow I have that same sweater!
Dad: yes, well her’s is from Baby Gap
Me: I also shop at Baby Gap!
Dad: okay
Men have no sense of humor
Dad: yes, well her’s is from Baby Gap
Me: I also shop at Baby Gap!
Dad: okay
Men have no sense of humor
“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?” Yes Katy, we are all full of plastic. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??
April 26, 2025 at 4:55 PM
“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?” Yes Katy, we are all full of plastic. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??
Giving the customers unbroken eye contact while I stroke the steam wand. Working the tip for that tip.
April 26, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Giving the customers unbroken eye contact while I stroke the steam wand. Working the tip for that tip.
It’s sunny, 70 and breezy in BK and I’m forced to work. Criminally homophobic.
April 24, 2025 at 7:25 PM
It’s sunny, 70 and breezy in BK and I’m forced to work. Criminally homophobic.
If I sent you a meme and you tell me I already sent it to you, don’t. I have adhd and I’m trying my best.
April 14, 2025 at 8:00 PM
If I sent you a meme and you tell me I already sent it to you, don’t. I have adhd and I’m trying my best.
Is Harry Jowsey queer or is he queerbaiting? I’m so sick of it and I can’t look away
April 14, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Is Harry Jowsey queer or is he queerbaiting? I’m so sick of it and I can’t look away
Had a celsius for the first time today now I’m horny and scared
April 12, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Had a celsius for the first time today now I’m horny and scared
“Step out of your comfort zone” what is this ‘comfort’ you speak of?
April 12, 2025 at 1:45 PM
“Step out of your comfort zone” what is this ‘comfort’ you speak of?
Remember when Janet said “cause my swag is serious, something heavy like a first day period”? That’s my queen
April 10, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Remember when Janet said “cause my swag is serious, something heavy like a first day period”? That’s my queen
On the wall of the bar bathroom someone’s written “straight guys can do butt stuff too”. Someone tried to erase it and obvi some repressed straight man is in dire need of some butt stuff
April 9, 2025 at 9:46 PM
On the wall of the bar bathroom someone’s written “straight guys can do butt stuff too”. Someone tried to erase it and obvi some repressed straight man is in dire need of some butt stuff
He was cute but he didn’t tip: a tragedy in 3 parts
March 29, 2025 at 2:36 PM
He was cute but he didn’t tip: a tragedy in 3 parts