Scrap Iron
@scrap-iron.bsky.social
I used to be funny. I spend far too much time on Fesshole and Anon Opin.
Oranges are the only fruit that parade down the Shankhill Road.
December 15, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Oranges are the only fruit that parade down the Shankhill Road.
"That spider is after your Lindors, Marla!"
December 15, 2025 at 3:19 PM
"That spider is after your Lindors, Marla!"
This behaviour could be the origin of the missing teaspoon enigma.
December 15, 2025 at 10:28 AM
This behaviour could be the origin of the missing teaspoon enigma.
You're a 32 year old company secretary, aren't you?
Be discrete, your younger male colleagues might notice your vase.
Be discrete, your younger male colleagues might notice your vase.
December 15, 2025 at 10:16 AM
You're a 32 year old company secretary, aren't you?
Be discrete, your younger male colleagues might notice your vase.
Be discrete, your younger male colleagues might notice your vase.
Covert data collection. The precursor to the Tesco club card. Books lined with Fablon were obvious targets for fundraising and invitations to the pta.
Woodchip? Not so much.
Woodchip? Not so much.
December 15, 2025 at 10:02 AM
Covert data collection. The precursor to the Tesco club card. Books lined with Fablon were obvious targets for fundraising and invitations to the pta.
Woodchip? Not so much.
Woodchip? Not so much.
Fablon was so expensive, it was stocked on shelves even higher up than "Fiesta" at our local Woolworths.
Having the choice to protect my exercise books with either sticky back plastic or some wallpaper of mum's choice usually meant choosing to either wrap them in woodchip or anaglypta.
Having the choice to protect my exercise books with either sticky back plastic or some wallpaper of mum's choice usually meant choosing to either wrap them in woodchip or anaglypta.
December 15, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Fablon was so expensive, it was stocked on shelves even higher up than "Fiesta" at our local Woolworths.
Having the choice to protect my exercise books with either sticky back plastic or some wallpaper of mum's choice usually meant choosing to either wrap them in woodchip or anaglypta.
Having the choice to protect my exercise books with either sticky back plastic or some wallpaper of mum's choice usually meant choosing to either wrap them in woodchip or anaglypta.
Calling your son Rover was always going to invite pandemonium.
December 15, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Calling your son Rover was always going to invite pandemonium.
Ideal for kniphofias.
December 15, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Ideal for kniphofias.
At least your viagra wasn't opened by "the wife", so be like her. Learn to be grateful for small mercies, Peewee.
December 13, 2025 at 11:14 AM
At least your viagra wasn't opened by "the wife", so be like her. Learn to be grateful for small mercies, Peewee.
Lucky you. A row's all I get.
December 11, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Lucky you. A row's all I get.
Graham Souness: the greatest player to pull on an England shirt. Plus several United shirts and most other teams too.
December 11, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Graham Souness: the greatest player to pull on an England shirt. Plus several United shirts and most other teams too.
Just keep quiet and no one will notice.
December 11, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Just keep quiet and no one will notice.
The Skull of Thomas Aquinas knoweth not His Shadow.
December 11, 2025 at 9:05 AM
The Skull of Thomas Aquinas knoweth not His Shadow.
Parklife = when the explanation is longer than the joke.
December 11, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Parklife = when the explanation is longer than the joke.
Mirabel Vance comes home to find the jizzer stuck in the sofa.
December 11, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Mirabel Vance comes home to find the jizzer stuck in the sofa.
Chris McCausland fesses.
December 10, 2025 at 10:51 AM
Chris McCausland fesses.
Christopher McCandless fesses. The Director's cut.
December 10, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Christopher McCandless fesses. The Director's cut.
What do we get for our trouble and pain?
Just a rented room in Whalley Range?
Just a rented room in Whalley Range?
December 10, 2025 at 8:48 AM
What do we get for our trouble and pain?
Just a rented room in Whalley Range?
Just a rented room in Whalley Range?
Down the Rabbit hole with this fess.
December 10, 2025 at 8:42 AM
Down the Rabbit hole with this fess.
Kids today, huh?
No window of opportunity.
No window of opportunity.
December 10, 2025 at 8:33 AM
Kids today, huh?
No window of opportunity.
No window of opportunity.
That's eggsasperating.
December 10, 2025 at 8:29 AM
That's eggsasperating.
1988 and Victoria distracted the whole Comedy Store audience, insisting that she and Ian should honeymoon in Crete.
December 9, 2025 at 7:12 PM
1988 and Victoria distracted the whole Comedy Store audience, insisting that she and Ian should honeymoon in Crete.