That's one of the hardest things about your job. When you're doing your best work, absolutely no one notices, because that's how you've designed the entire effort! For things to just be seamless.

That is my entire professional life. 🙃

My strategies to make people like their jobs (and thus me) are: 1) listen and take them seriously, 2) solve easy problems for them, 3) remove unnecessary shit from their criical path, 4) provide clarity /direction, 5) make accountability/priority clear, 6) advocate for them when shit hits the fan.

The biggest sign of an effective PM isn't someone who hits all their deadlines, but someone whose team actually likes them, because it means the PM conducted psychological warfare correctly.

Do you know how hard it is to make people LIKE doing their jobs? Yet it's the key to getting stuff done.

It's truly mind boggling. I feel like I've been operating based on the clinical criteria and my actual child, but the providers have been operating from clinical criteria that exists in their head and whatever characteristics they've decided my kid has that fits that criteria.

I still have the even cheaper Walmart knock-off of this in my living room.

So...we're in a good place overall. I'd already talked to his school about the assessment and potential next steps if he was diagnosed, so I already have a good idea of what to expect there, and we'll look into private OT.

I just wish this had happened years ago.

On the upside, the 9-year-old is a confident kid, happy and comfortable in who he is, and that came across in the assessment. He's also totally unphased by the diagnosis. Just went, "I knew it," and has been unbothered since. It helps that I'm also autistic, and he's got autistic friends at school.

The thing is, I asked for him to be assessed at least once a year starting when he was 2. He was assessed for ADHD year after year, and slapped with anxiety and conduct disorder diagnoses, despite the fact that he's never met criteria for either, just so he could continue to receive care.

I'm so mad.

I'M SO MAD.

There is so much more we could have been doing this whole time if I hadn't consistently gotten the brush-off, every single time I said, "What about an autism assessment?"

Because my kid doesn't meet some fuckass 20th century stereotypes about autism!!!

He *can* make eye contact, after a reminder, and hold a conversation where an adult asks him things like, "Do you like school?" and "What's your favorite subject?" and "What do you like to do with your friends?" because ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS PLAY INTO HIS SPECIAL INTERESTS.

The reason he doesn't "look" autistic to a medical professional who spends 20 minutes twice a year with him and mostly talks to his parents is because he's extremely bright, talks like an adult, and makes excellent grades at schools.

I'm so mad. I can understand that his stimming, his sensory aversions, and even his struggles with emotional regulation have overlap with ADHD, but the social deficits are so specific and put him so clearly in the "autistic" bucket. Especially when he fails to meet ADHD criteria for 4 years running!

His teachers have reported repeatedly, over multiple years, that he can't read other kids' facial expressions, body language, or obvious emotions--a thing I can confirm--and he only makes eye contact when prompted, but that's probably just ADHD because he thinks people are booooring. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

...repeatedly brought up by his teachers (starting when he was 16 months old and running consistently through the 3rd grade!), his dad, and me. She said ADHD could cause kids not to be interested in social interactions with other kids if he wasn't interested in what they were doing.

7 years of being told, by a developmental pediatrician, that it wasn't even worth assessing him, because "she could tell" that he wasn't autistic. She assessed him for ADHD 4 years in a row, despite the fact that he never got close to meeting criteria, and ignored ALL of the social deficits...

To be clear, the slice would have to be small because I'm reintroducing dairy and going too hard too soon can cause problems.

Normally I eat half the pie myself. On Thanksgiving.

Oh this is ILLEGAL illegal.

I just had mine a few weeks ago. Enjoy eating again!