You think there's gonna be a little novelty Malort keychain or a sticker or something in there, WRONG more malort

ok pausing this to possibly go to sleep

she also is the character most likely to say the word "ka-chow", but i'm not sure if it would be an ironic usage or not. kinda cringe either way, but she is a terminally offline jock woman, so. take what you can get i guess.

she also tends to just. pull some little sister shit by finding new and inventive ways to annoy riau and cedar every day, entirely for her own amusement. she doesn't do it to mune, tho, bc he's kind of too oblivious abt most things and it feels mean to try.

she and mune are workout buddies, and they tend to wingman for each other a lot (at least until the events of endwalker). even though she tends to act like she's just a meathead, she's actually quite smart, she just. y'know. does not give a flying fuck about her brother's works, one way or another

which is a privilege not even his sister, elm, gets! but that's fine by her, she's not around for the nerd shit, honestly. the most she gets involved is helping to build and move sets or furniture, run lighting if needed, and generally act as security. oh, and hit on girls. mostly just that, tbh.

could never find the other attractive in a romantic or sexual sense bc it's just like looking in the world's most annoying mirror. but bc of this, riau's one of the few people who cedar trusts to edit, finish, or change his works, bc he knows that riau won't fuck it up

he and riau have a like. extremely catty old-gay-men-who-hate-each-other-but-can't-live-without-the-other relationship. it's like if statler and waldorf had both refused to ever explore each other's bodies. they understand each other on an almost platonic-soulmate type level, but bc of that they-

his family's rich enough to help him fund it, and it definitely for sure is NOT being used as a money laundering front, don't worry about it, it's totally cool and also extremely normal, don't look at the accounting books, it's fine!!!

also he sounds like a pitched-down nathan lane

naturally, this has poisoned him irreparably and now he needs to create art and poetry and music and screenplays or else his brain will explode. which fucking sucks when he runs out of inspiration relatively often. so he made a traveling theater troupe, to both perform AND inspire him! haha! ha! ha!

speaking of leader of the troupe. it's cedar! he's uh. one of those people who's been doomed since day one to suffer creative impulses. his family's well off, but he's had pretty bad asthma since childhood, so he's spent most of his life indoors, studying books and poetry and art and music

he also got hired into the theater group kind of unintentionally bc he got into a physical altercation with a guy in gridania and the leader of the troupe went "oh no. idk what's going on but we need to grab that fruity twunk before the cops show up and get the fuck out of here."

he's also down absolutely pathetic for his pirate cousin's best friend/first mate. like fully and embarrassingly abysmal over him. and it's one of the few situations where all of riau's bravado, all of his ego, all of his pride go completely out the window, bc he's TERRIFIED of coming on too strong

he's fun bc on one hand, yeah, he's often a snobby, high-strung bitch with a huge ego, but on the other hand, having grown up in a pretty dangerous swampland, he's not really afraid of getting down and dirty if the situation requires. he's willing to do hard work, he'd just *prefer* to be a princess

riau! probably the most femme of my boys. a passionate primadonna who has fought valiantly to master both his temper as well as his thick cajun accent. bc i think it's funnier to assume that the south shroud is just fantasy louisiana, and nobody can convince me otherwise.

he also is the stunt coordinator and general actor for a traveling theater troupe that definitely doesn't have mob connections don't worry about it it's normal and fine

other mune facts:
- can shed his tail like a gecko. hates when it happens bc the way it wiggles grosses him out
- thought his dad died bc his mom never talked abt him growing up. it's actually bc it was a one night stand & she didn't want to explain that
- did not know he could breathe underwater!

then there's mune! muneharu! my himbo! my pink puppy! my golden retriever! he doesn't know who the WoL is, he just recognizes him as the guy he always ended up behind in line at Sultanabucks with a complicated drink order. if he had a pokemon it would be a slowpoke