Robert Electricity
@robertelectricity.bsky.social
Pinned
Oh, you host a political podcast? Wow, that's sooooo interesting. You should stop immediately.
As you go about your days during this busy holiday season, always remember the wisdom of George Costanza:
a man and a woman standing in front of an airplane that says american airlines
ALT: a man and a woman standing in front of an airplane that says american airlines
media.tenor.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:54 PM
As you go about your days during this busy holiday season, always remember the wisdom of George Costanza:
Please stop making humanoid robots. C-3PO always sucked.
November 28, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Please stop making humanoid robots. C-3PO always sucked.
Yeah, well, your mom is in the bible!
November 28, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Yeah, well, your mom is in the bible!
I think it's time I admitted that I do not like stealth video games. They rarely work well. Either the game fails to give you enough indicators of enemy awareness, or there is no room for error, or it's just half-baked. Overt violence always ends up being the better option.
November 28, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I think it's time I admitted that I do not like stealth video games. They rarely work well. Either the game fails to give you enough indicators of enemy awareness, or there is no room for error, or it's just half-baked. Overt violence always ends up being the better option.
I hope we're all feeling thankful for our morning after Thanksgiving poops. 💩
November 28, 2025 at 4:19 PM
I hope we're all feeling thankful for our morning after Thanksgiving poops. 💩
The worst part of having people over for Thanksgiving dinner is having to wear pants.
November 27, 2025 at 9:44 PM
The worst part of having people over for Thanksgiving dinner is having to wear pants.
I just need to figure out how to combine gambling and pornography and I can make billions of dollars.
November 27, 2025 at 2:13 AM
I just need to figure out how to combine gambling and pornography and I can make billions of dollars.
Yams are SO gross. How gross are they? The only time I told my dad “no” was when he tried to get me to eat yams. One bite and I knew I would rather face his ire.
November 27, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Yams are SO gross. How gross are they? The only time I told my dad “no” was when he tried to get me to eat yams. One bite and I knew I would rather face his ire.
wife: What do women want?
me: Food.
wife: Correct. What else?
me: A reliable partner.
wife: Correct.
me: Who will drive them to food.
wife: Very good.
me: Food.
wife: Correct. What else?
me: A reliable partner.
wife: Correct.
me: Who will drive them to food.
wife: Very good.
November 27, 2025 at 2:11 AM
wife: What do women want?
me: Food.
wife: Correct. What else?
me: A reliable partner.
wife: Correct.
me: Who will drive them to food.
wife: Very good.
me: Food.
wife: Correct. What else?
me: A reliable partner.
wife: Correct.
me: Who will drive them to food.
wife: Very good.
I will do yoga when I am dead. Feel free to pose my corpse.
November 26, 2025 at 2:40 AM
I will do yoga when I am dead. Feel free to pose my corpse.
me: *sets alarm for 30 minutes*
me thirty minutes later: Holy shit, what the fuck is that noise??
me thirty minutes later: Holy shit, what the fuck is that noise??
November 26, 2025 at 2:23 AM
me: *sets alarm for 30 minutes*
me thirty minutes later: Holy shit, what the fuck is that noise??
me thirty minutes later: Holy shit, what the fuck is that noise??
Occasionally I will meet a person and quickly realize that at no point in their life has anyone told them to shut the fuck up.
November 26, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Occasionally I will meet a person and quickly realize that at no point in their life has anyone told them to shut the fuck up.
"Interdict" is a funny word because part of it sounds like "dicked."
November 26, 2025 at 2:22 AM
"Interdict" is a funny word because part of it sounds like "dicked."
Quiet sneezers freak me out. Careful with that or your head might explode.
November 25, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Quiet sneezers freak me out. Careful with that or your head might explode.
My upcoming self-help book will be called "How to Fuck Off All on Your Own."
November 25, 2025 at 3:54 PM
My upcoming self-help book will be called "How to Fuck Off All on Your Own."
If you see your mom this Thanksgiving, tell her I said, "What's up, hottie?"
November 25, 2025 at 1:45 AM
If you see your mom this Thanksgiving, tell her I said, "What's up, hottie?"
I bet Jeffrey Ross is really good at roasting turkeys.
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I bet Jeffrey Ross is really good at roasting turkeys.
If there are space aliens, I hope they have big titties.
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 AM
If there are space aliens, I hope they have big titties.
I was listening to an advertisement for an upcoming podcast series, and within that advertisement were three other advertisements. Yes, we have advertisements in our advertisements, because fuck you, that's why.
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I was listening to an advertisement for an upcoming podcast series, and within that advertisement were three other advertisements. Yes, we have advertisements in our advertisements, because fuck you, that's why.
I am happy to be non-religious, because going to church was a horrifying way to spend a Sunday morning.
November 24, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I am happy to be non-religious, because going to church was a horrifying way to spend a Sunday morning.
Because of my susceptibility to sinus infections, I sometimes find myself in a state that can be described as "not contagious, just gross."
November 24, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Because of my susceptibility to sinus infections, I sometimes find myself in a state that can be described as "not contagious, just gross."
I don't even use the selfie camera on my phone, but occasionally I will see my face reflection on the screen when it's off and is that seriously what I look like?
November 22, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I don't even use the selfie camera on my phone, but occasionally I will see my face reflection on the screen when it's off and is that seriously what I look like?
Are your standards high, or are you just a pain in the ass?
November 22, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Are your standards high, or are you just a pain in the ass?
I saw this sign at the office and thought, "Man, I hate the fucking Eagles."
November 22, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I saw this sign at the office and thought, "Man, I hate the fucking Eagles."
I wish sex included achievements.
November 21, 2025 at 3:56 PM
I wish sex included achievements.