Robert Electricity
@robertelectricity.bsky.social
Pinned
Oh, you host a political podcast? Wow, that's sooooo interesting. You should stop immediately.
I will do yoga when I am dead. Feel free to pose my corpse.
November 26, 2025 at 2:40 AM
I will do yoga when I am dead. Feel free to pose my corpse.
me: *sets alarm for 30 minutes*
me thirty minutes later: Holy shit, what the fuck is that noise??
me thirty minutes later: Holy shit, what the fuck is that noise??
November 26, 2025 at 2:23 AM
me: *sets alarm for 30 minutes*
me thirty minutes later: Holy shit, what the fuck is that noise??
me thirty minutes later: Holy shit, what the fuck is that noise??
Occasionally I will meet a person and quickly realize that at no point in their life has anyone told them to shut the fuck up.
November 26, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Occasionally I will meet a person and quickly realize that at no point in their life has anyone told them to shut the fuck up.
"Interdict" is a funny word because part of it sounds like "dicked."
November 26, 2025 at 2:22 AM
"Interdict" is a funny word because part of it sounds like "dicked."
Quiet sneezers freak me out. Careful with that or your head might explode.
November 25, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Quiet sneezers freak me out. Careful with that or your head might explode.
My upcoming self-help book will be called "How to Fuck Off All on Your Own."
November 25, 2025 at 3:54 PM
My upcoming self-help book will be called "How to Fuck Off All on Your Own."
If you see your mom this Thanksgiving, tell her I said, "What's up, hottie?"
November 25, 2025 at 1:45 AM
If you see your mom this Thanksgiving, tell her I said, "What's up, hottie?"
I bet Jeffrey Ross is really good at roasting turkeys.
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I bet Jeffrey Ross is really good at roasting turkeys.
If there are space aliens, I hope they have big titties.
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 AM
If there are space aliens, I hope they have big titties.
I was listening to an advertisement for an upcoming podcast series, and within that advertisement were three other advertisements. Yes, we have advertisements in our advertisements, because fuck you, that's why.
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I was listening to an advertisement for an upcoming podcast series, and within that advertisement were three other advertisements. Yes, we have advertisements in our advertisements, because fuck you, that's why.
I am happy to be non-religious, because going to church was a horrifying way to spend a Sunday morning.
November 24, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I am happy to be non-religious, because going to church was a horrifying way to spend a Sunday morning.
Because of my susceptibility to sinus infections, I sometimes find myself in a state that can be described as "not contagious, just gross."
November 24, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Because of my susceptibility to sinus infections, I sometimes find myself in a state that can be described as "not contagious, just gross."
I don't even use the selfie camera on my phone, but occasionally I will see my face reflection on the screen when it's off and is that seriously what I look like?
November 22, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I don't even use the selfie camera on my phone, but occasionally I will see my face reflection on the screen when it's off and is that seriously what I look like?
Are your standards high, or are you just a pain in the ass?
November 22, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Are your standards high, or are you just a pain in the ass?
I saw this sign at the office and thought, "Man, I hate the fucking Eagles."
November 22, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I saw this sign at the office and thought, "Man, I hate the fucking Eagles."
I wish sex included achievements.
November 21, 2025 at 3:56 PM
I wish sex included achievements.
I have received so many unwanted surveys over the years, but not once have I gotten one asked if I wanted any of this AI nonsense. So I don't want to hear any whining from the rich fucks forcing this shit on us when it all comes crashing down.
November 21, 2025 at 3:55 PM
I have received so many unwanted surveys over the years, but not once have I gotten one asked if I wanted any of this AI nonsense. So I don't want to hear any whining from the rich fucks forcing this shit on us when it all comes crashing down.
Titties, y'all. Titties.
November 21, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Titties, y'all. Titties.
Look, I just need some of you to stop looking at your phone and do things like WALK or DRIVE.
November 20, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Look, I just need some of you to stop looking at your phone and do things like WALK or DRIVE.
One good thing about me being bald is you will never ever see me sporting a manbun.
November 20, 2025 at 3:51 PM
One good thing about me being bald is you will never ever see me sporting a manbun.
One of my favorite parts of being friends with people is when a friend reveals their dark side, because that's when you get to the real person. Not the "best behavior" version. The real nitty gritty. I like that.
November 20, 2025 at 3:50 PM
One of my favorite parts of being friends with people is when a friend reveals their dark side, because that's when you get to the real person. Not the "best behavior" version. The real nitty gritty. I like that.
"Punching the chipmunk" is the most aggressive term for women's masturbation that I have ever heard.
November 20, 2025 at 2:12 AM
"Punching the chipmunk" is the most aggressive term for women's masturbation that I have ever heard.
I was alive during the 1980s and I can assure you that we all used break dancing as our primary method of travel.
November 20, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I was alive during the 1980s and I can assure you that we all used break dancing as our primary method of travel.
I am a big fan of cunnilingus. The results speak for themselves. The spelling of the word, however, is tedious.
November 20, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I am a big fan of cunnilingus. The results speak for themselves. The spelling of the word, however, is tedious.
me when my wife buys a huge cucumber:
a cartoon character named stewie from the family guy sits on a ledge
ALT: a cartoon character named stewie from the family guy sits on a ledge
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 2:11 AM
me when my wife buys a huge cucumber: