Rex Huppke
@rexhuppke.bsky.social
(VERY SERIOUS) USA TODAY humor(ish) columnist. May or may not be notable. Hypocrisy enthusiast. WOKE MOB, CO-FOUNDER. ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE (2017 to present).
Pete Hegseth experiencing the fog of war.
December 2, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Pete Hegseth experiencing the fog of war.
Nov. 5 Fox News interview:
December 2, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Nov. 5 Fox News interview:
Racist lady who shot her puppy has some thoughts. Honestly, for all the horrors in this post, the thing that shocked me the most was that she spelled "leeches" right.
December 2, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Racist lady who shot her puppy has some thoughts. Honestly, for all the horrors in this post, the thing that shocked me the most was that she spelled "leeches" right.
If you find yourself in the presence of Trump supporters on Thanksgiving or at any point during the holidays, here are some questions worth asking, starting with this vitally important one: How is your life better under Donald Trump? Be specific, please.
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
November 26, 2025 at 7:23 PM
If you find yourself in the presence of Trump supporters on Thanksgiving or at any point during the holidays, here are some questions worth asking, starting with this vitally important one: How is your life better under Donald Trump? Be specific, please.
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
November 23, 2025 at 7:20 AM
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
Hold me now,
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking,
"Maybe six feet ain't so far down.”
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking,
"Maybe six feet ain't so far down.”
November 23, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Hold me now,
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking,
"Maybe six feet ain't so far down.”
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking,
"Maybe six feet ain't so far down.”
Let us all thank JD Vance’s tuxedo shirt studs for doing the lord’s work. This could’ve been a lot worse without them. #ThankAStud
November 21, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Let us all thank JD Vance’s tuxedo shirt studs for doing the lord’s work. This could’ve been a lot worse without them. #ThankAStud
When you’re fine and not at all concerned about the Epstein files:
November 20, 2025 at 1:44 AM
When you’re fine and not at all concerned about the Epstein files:
Allow me to freestyle off the New York Times' piece on Olivia Nuzzi and RFK Jr.:
"She loved the way the gargle of his voice echoed off the shelf where she keeps her matcha grinder and jars of room-temperature raw milk. She felt, at times, 'his worm spoke' to her. She enjoyed their dysentery."
"She loved the way the gargle of his voice echoed off the shelf where she keeps her matcha grinder and jars of room-temperature raw milk. She felt, at times, 'his worm spoke' to her. She enjoyed their dysentery."
November 14, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Allow me to freestyle off the New York Times' piece on Olivia Nuzzi and RFK Jr.:
"She loved the way the gargle of his voice echoed off the shelf where she keeps her matcha grinder and jars of room-temperature raw milk. She felt, at times, 'his worm spoke' to her. She enjoyed their dysentery."
"She loved the way the gargle of his voice echoed off the shelf where she keeps her matcha grinder and jars of room-temperature raw milk. She felt, at times, 'his worm spoke' to her. She enjoyed their dysentery."
Kudos to Donald Trump for making every Republican who votes against releasing the Epstein files look even more like they're guilty of running cover for a president who was closely involved with a notorious sex trafficker.
November 12, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Kudos to Donald Trump for making every Republican who votes against releasing the Epstein files look even more like they're guilty of running cover for a president who was closely involved with a notorious sex trafficker.
In which I applaud moderate Democrats for bravely folding to avoid helping any of their voters.
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
November 11, 2025 at 12:55 AM
In which I applaud moderate Democrats for bravely folding to avoid helping any of their voters.
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
The start of my upcoming column on the brave Democratic cave:
November 10, 2025 at 7:56 PM
The start of my upcoming column on the brave Democratic cave:
This is one of those times when social media is important. I don't trust most major news organizations to do much with this photo, even though it speaks volumes about this moment in our nation's history. But the image going viral will get it seen, and might push news orgs to use and discuss it.
November 6, 2025 at 8:21 PM
This is one of those times when social media is important. I don't trust most major news organizations to do much with this photo, even though it speaks volumes about this moment in our nation's history. But the image going viral will get it seen, and might push news orgs to use and discuss it.
Never, under any circumstances, does Trump take responsibility for anything. It borders on remarkable.
November 5, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Never, under any circumstances, does Trump take responsibility for anything. It borders on remarkable.
I honestly think the fact that they’ve already rolled right into the “just makin’ up shit that ain’t even close to real” phase is a good sign. Reeks of desperation.
November 3, 2025 at 10:16 PM
I honestly think the fact that they’ve already rolled right into the “just makin’ up shit that ain’t even close to real” phase is a good sign. Reeks of desperation.
SNAP benefits are in limbo and health insurance premiums are skyrocketing, so Trump and his coterie of new-money slobs rub their wealth in Americans' faces. I hope you'll read the whole column (www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...), but here's an excerpt:
November 3, 2025 at 5:28 PM
SNAP benefits are in limbo and health insurance premiums are skyrocketing, so Trump and his coterie of new-money slobs rub their wealth in Americans' faces. I hope you'll read the whole column (www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...), but here's an excerpt:
Olympic-level flop sweat. He’s gonna wind up blaming Mike Johnson when the shit hits the fan. “I had no idea!”
November 1, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Olympic-level flop sweat. He’s gonna wind up blaming Mike Johnson when the shit hits the fan. “I had no idea!”
Does Trump care about 42 million Americans losing SNAP benefits? What a rude question.
My compassionate column:
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
My compassionate column:
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
October 28, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Does Trump care about 42 million Americans losing SNAP benefits? What a rude question.
My compassionate column:
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
My compassionate column:
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
JD Vance is over there doing a heckuva job maintaining the peace. Clearly the charm offensive is working.
October 23, 2025 at 5:16 PM
JD Vance is over there doing a heckuva job maintaining the peace. Clearly the charm offensive is working.
The East Wing Demolition inspired me to sensibly suggest additional historic buildings and monuments Trump can demolish. (Full column here: www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...)
October 23, 2025 at 4:34 PM
The East Wing Demolition inspired me to sensibly suggest additional historic buildings and monuments Trump can demolish. (Full column here: www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...)
I hope you all will share my moving story about the importance of a White House ballroom. #ballroom (www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...)
October 21, 2025 at 7:35 PM
I hope you all will share my moving story about the importance of a White House ballroom. #ballroom (www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...)