little lamb
@puddleofbrain.bsky.social
In 1977 a heavenly being spoke to me about a head injury that I sustained in 1968
Paulie: it’s blue, Tone, and you chew it up just like a candy
Tony: does that mean it reaches your bloodstream faster than the pills?
Paulie: it may Tone
Tony: does that mean it reaches your bloodstream faster than the pills?
Paulie: it may Tone
November 18, 2025 at 6:48 AM
Paulie: it’s blue, Tone, and you chew it up just like a candy
Tony: does that mean it reaches your bloodstream faster than the pills?
Paulie: it may Tone
Tony: does that mean it reaches your bloodstream faster than the pills?
Paulie: it may Tone
Have you ever actually tried the goods and services from tv commercials? They’re horrid
November 18, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Have you ever actually tried the goods and services from tv commercials? They’re horrid
When I was a little kid I used to cry and cry every time I was around a fraction but now I think whole numbers are ratchet
November 18, 2025 at 3:41 AM
When I was a little kid I used to cry and cry every time I was around a fraction but now I think whole numbers are ratchet
There are some whole numbers that were everywhere when I was growing up that it feels like I haven’t seen for years now. Seven, for example, and twelve
November 18, 2025 at 3:31 AM
There are some whole numbers that were everywhere when I was growing up that it feels like I haven’t seen for years now. Seven, for example, and twelve
Your grandkids aren’t going to know what a pineapple is bro. Or a sea. Or a sponge. Or a square but that one’s not due to the world burning to ashes, I just think the odds are that they’re going to be pretty stupid
November 18, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Your grandkids aren’t going to know what a pineapple is bro. Or a sea. Or a sponge. Or a square but that one’s not due to the world burning to ashes, I just think the odds are that they’re going to be pretty stupid
Hey siri set reminder for one week from now for piss bottle still life
November 18, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Hey siri set reminder for one week from now for piss bottle still life
I can’t wait to repost my Christmas joke
November 18, 2025 at 2:12 AM
I can’t wait to repost my Christmas joke
Me and my buddies call ourselves seniors of junior high because it sounds more mature than eighth graders
November 18, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Me and my buddies call ourselves seniors of junior high because it sounds more mature than eighth graders
If my dad caught me watching Wicked he would be way too weirdly supportive and try to buy me a witch for Christmas or send me to witch camp or something. That’s why I have to sneak it, not because he thinks it’s gay
November 18, 2025 at 1:56 AM
If my dad caught me watching Wicked he would be way too weirdly supportive and try to buy me a witch for Christmas or send me to witch camp or something. That’s why I have to sneak it, not because he thinks it’s gay
Sir I don’t want to alarm you but there’s a man with four fingers on the television. Real firecracker of a son. Crazy blue haired wife. The hair sir, not her. She’s actually the more reasonable of the two sir.
November 18, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Sir I don’t want to alarm you but there’s a man with four fingers on the television. Real firecracker of a son. Crazy blue haired wife. The hair sir, not her. She’s actually the more reasonable of the two sir.
It actually wasn’t considered tacky to brag about your dowry until relatively recently, historically speaking. Have you ever read Foucault?
November 18, 2025 at 1:39 AM
It actually wasn’t considered tacky to brag about your dowry until relatively recently, historically speaking. Have you ever read Foucault?
Your daughter has announced her engagement to [The Family Annihilator]
Would you like to check in on your home life?
[yes] [no]
Would you like to check in on your home life?
[yes] [no]
November 18, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Your daughter has announced her engagement to [The Family Annihilator]
Would you like to check in on your home life?
[yes] [no]
Would you like to check in on your home life?
[yes] [no]
I only joined the national guard for the looting and I don’t want anything that Americans own. Tacky.
November 18, 2025 at 1:32 AM
I only joined the national guard for the looting and I don’t want anything that Americans own. Tacky.
I showed my 3rd grade teacher a picture of the guy taking his headphones off in disgust and told her it was my dad
November 18, 2025 at 1:29 AM
I showed my 3rd grade teacher a picture of the guy taking his headphones off in disgust and told her it was my dad
I’m going to make you an allegory you can’t refuse
November 18, 2025 at 1:23 AM
I’m going to make you an allegory you can’t refuse
Grandson: is it true that they only had four fingers papa?
Grandfather: oh yes my dear boy, and yellow skin to boot
Grandfather: oh yes my dear boy, and yellow skin to boot
November 18, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Grandson: is it true that they only had four fingers papa?
Grandfather: oh yes my dear boy, and yellow skin to boot
Grandfather: oh yes my dear boy, and yellow skin to boot
The first time I saw a Simpson I was like holy shit that guy has four fingers but then I recovered my wits and started observing him and trying to learn his funhouse mirror ways
November 18, 2025 at 12:41 AM
The first time I saw a Simpson I was like holy shit that guy has four fingers but then I recovered my wits and started observing him and trying to learn his funhouse mirror ways
I heard your man making up allegories and the figure intended to represent the position of ignorance bore a striking resemblance to you
November 18, 2025 at 12:34 AM
I heard your man making up allegories and the figure intended to represent the position of ignorance bore a striking resemblance to you
Does your mom know you’re out here making up allegories
November 18, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Does your mom know you’re out here making up allegories
You guys have jelly skulls but you have hot pepper brains
November 17, 2025 at 11:54 PM
You guys have jelly skulls but you have hot pepper brains
Being weird and tone deaf is half the battle
November 17, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Being weird and tone deaf is half the battle
Telling a crying baby his life is a black hallway with no windows or doors
November 17, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Telling a crying baby his life is a black hallway with no windows or doors
Baby: wah wah. waaah
Me: I get it little man. A few years ago I was at the end of my rope. Nothing seemed to be going my way and it didnt seem like there was any chance of that improving. My life was a black hallway with no windows or doors. Can I give you a pamphlet that changed everything for me?
Me: I get it little man. A few years ago I was at the end of my rope. Nothing seemed to be going my way and it didnt seem like there was any chance of that improving. My life was a black hallway with no windows or doors. Can I give you a pamphlet that changed everything for me?
November 17, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Baby: wah wah. waaah
Me: I get it little man. A few years ago I was at the end of my rope. Nothing seemed to be going my way and it didnt seem like there was any chance of that improving. My life was a black hallway with no windows or doors. Can I give you a pamphlet that changed everything for me?
Me: I get it little man. A few years ago I was at the end of my rope. Nothing seemed to be going my way and it didnt seem like there was any chance of that improving. My life was a black hallway with no windows or doors. Can I give you a pamphlet that changed everything for me?
Handing a crying baby a loaded gun because it seems like it might not be able to deal with the pain anymore
November 17, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Handing a crying baby a loaded gun because it seems like it might not be able to deal with the pain anymore