Pat Lange
@pfunklange.bsky.social
I'm going to go jump off a normal hill. I'm going to fling myself down a regular mountain. I'll plummet from a completely typical escarpment. Just a very standard day, all things considered.
February 10, 2026 at 3:42 AM
I'm going to go jump off a normal hill. I'm going to fling myself down a regular mountain. I'll plummet from a completely typical escarpment. Just a very standard day, all things considered.
Somehow "Bachelor Chow" is the less disturbing name for this concept.
Futurama did it
February 10, 2026 at 3:01 AM
Somehow "Bachelor Chow" is the less disturbing name for this concept.
Reposted by Pat Lange
What is this, the Super Bowl of punting?
February 9, 2026 at 2:12 AM
What is this, the Super Bowl of punting?
No Hell hot enough.
Minnesota: "School officials say the [5-year-old] child was used as bait. They say [ICE] agents made little Liam knock on the door to ask to be let in in order to see if anyone else was home."
January 22, 2026 at 12:28 AM
No Hell hot enough.
Reposted by Pat Lange
Drunk Bears Fan Grating Ram
January 19, 2026 at 12:15 AM
Drunk Bears Fan Grating Ram
Can Aaron Rodgers retire while he's chasing the NFL's all-time most head coaches defeated record?
January 13, 2026 at 7:22 PM
Can Aaron Rodgers retire while he's chasing the NFL's all-time most head coaches defeated record?
In the year 2026, I would like to see technology advance beyond "resealable" bags where there's actually just a little piece of tape there.
January 13, 2026 at 2:14 PM
In the year 2026, I would like to see technology advance beyond "resealable" bags where there's actually just a little piece of tape there.
There's still time for Aaron Rodgers to complete the full Favre and retire as a Viking.
January 13, 2026 at 4:18 AM
There's still time for Aaron Rodgers to complete the full Favre and retire as a Viking.
Eagles are going to win this thing like 22-20 and hate every minute of it. It's an incredible bit.
January 12, 2026 at 12:21 AM
Eagles are going to win this thing like 22-20 and hate every minute of it. It's an incredible bit.
Before this Bears game I joked that they should build the whole offense out of fourth quarters, and instead they moved the entire game into the fourth quarter. Incredible.
January 11, 2026 at 4:58 AM
Before this Bears game I joked that they should build the whole offense out of fourth quarters, and instead they moved the entire game into the fourth quarter. Incredible.
Reposted by Pat Lange
I don't think I've ever seen this particular mishap befall a running back before.
January 3, 2026 at 10:32 PM
I don't think I've ever seen this particular mishap befall a running back before.
Here in real time Caleb Williams needs only 109 yards to overtake Erik Kramer's single-season Bears passing record. We can make a caveat for the longer season, but history tells us that keeping a QB upright for a full year (knock on wood) is an achievement in itself for this team.
Happy New Year to those on the surface! Here in the Bears Passing Bathysphere it is still 1988. Tomczak steps in for the injured McMahon and passes passably. The team wins four in a row, but he's felled by a separated shoulder in week 13. Harbaugh closes out a 16-0 win over the Packers.
January 1, 2026 at 5:09 PM
Here in real time Caleb Williams needs only 109 yards to overtake Erik Kramer's single-season Bears passing record. We can make a caveat for the longer season, but history tells us that keeping a QB upright for a full year (knock on wood) is an achievement in itself for this team.
I bet the guy who invented shaving looked like shit for a long time.
January 1, 2026 at 3:22 AM
I bet the guy who invented shaving looked like shit for a long time.
Reposted by Pat Lange
We beveled a can of Bush's Beans as requested.
December 23, 2025 at 11:13 PM
We beveled a can of Bush's Beans as requested.
It's weird that it's been two full years since the last 28-24 game. 28-24 feels like a score that happens once a week.
🏈 NE 28 - 24 BAL
FINAL
❌ No Scorigami. That score has happened 77 times before.
Last time: Sep 24, 2023
Los Angeles Chargers defeated Minnesota Vikings
FINAL
❌ No Scorigami. That score has happened 77 times before.
Last time: Sep 24, 2023
Los Angeles Chargers defeated Minnesota Vikings
December 22, 2025 at 4:47 AM
It's weird that it's been two full years since the last 28-24 game. 28-24 feels like a score that happens once a week.
Justin Herbert has one working hand and has scrambled 73 times tonight.
December 9, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Justin Herbert has one working hand and has scrambled 73 times tonight.
My new favorite Mike Ditka fact is that he benched two different quarterbacks for calling audibles.
MIKE DITKA POWER FOOTBALL
ACCOLADE 1991
SEGA GENESIS
ACCOLADE 1991
SEGA GENESIS
December 8, 2025 at 3:08 AM
My new favorite Mike Ditka fact is that he benched two different quarterbacks for calling audibles.
"I guess the dog is getting organic peanut butter today," I think, not for the first or last time.
December 2, 2025 at 12:51 AM
"I guess the dog is getting organic peanut butter today," I think, not for the first or last time.
Millennials, just circling back here, did we kill napkins? Looking for some resolution on the napkin-killing initiative.
November 25, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Millennials, just circling back here, did we kill napkins? Looking for some resolution on the napkin-killing initiative.
Reposted by Pat Lange
CORRECTION: A *third* potato has been named after Prince.
November 22, 2025 at 6:29 PM
CORRECTION: A *third* potato has been named after Prince.
Thinking once again about migratory legends of type 6070B: Death of an Underground Person. The business of hidden worlds goes on all around us, and sometimes our involvement in them is brief, confusing, and incidental.
Death of an Underground Person
sites.pitt.edu
November 22, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Thinking once again about migratory legends of type 6070B: Death of an Underground Person. The business of hidden worlds goes on all around us, and sometimes our involvement in them is brief, confusing, and incidental.
Honestly I didn't know the post-safety onside kick was a thing you could do.
November 18, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Honestly I didn't know the post-safety onside kick was a thing you could do.
Denver can't get a first down and their punter has the yips. This is somehow incredible television.
November 7, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Denver can't get a first down and their punter has the yips. This is somehow incredible television.