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onlinefunctions.bsky.social
open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
i post with my heart
critical care paramedic, landlord classicide stan, terminally online shitposter

"a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself."
"at the end of everything, hold on to anything."
*no worries*
I extremely never go easy. It's my responsibility to make him strong and honest. He will earn his victories or he will perish.
November 30, 2025 at 3:14 AM
The whole thing collapsing into the sewers below killing the entire cabinet like the Erfurt latrine disaster
November 30, 2025 at 3:13 AM
the kid gets to steal exactly one round off of me when I get complacent and then I'm locked in harder than anyone's ever locked in before
November 30, 2025 at 3:10 AM
My thoughts about Suntory is that it's a clinical whiskey, like it has tried too hard to capture whiskey with laboratory precision instead of by an old Scottish guy tasting the mash with a ladel then adjusting it by vibes
November 30, 2025 at 3:07 AM
doo boys
November 29, 2025 at 9:18 PM
no Morty, you deserve better, have some self respect
November 27, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Aren't the kids like 40 now?
November 27, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Season one was good, season two started to suck because they realized nostalgia could print money, season three was borderline unwatchable, and I could not bring myself to return to the poisoned well for 4 and now I guess 5? Lol
November 27, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Woke up and immediately announced that like the ATM from American Psycho it was time to feed me a stray cat
November 26, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Copilot started popping up on my shit uninvited and unprompted so for the first time since Windows 8 I'm running Linux lol
November 26, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Big oof. But thank you anyways for putting in the work. Stay solid!
November 25, 2025 at 8:49 PM
You should try to harvest some and boil them for the medicinal properties
November 25, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Lumpenprole ass takes yeah agreed
November 25, 2025 at 5:42 PM