Chris King
@northernwrites.bsky.social
Former knife swallower
Unlikely to be the Chris King you are looking for. Unless I am. Then I am currently unable to take your call.
Unlikely to be the Chris King you are looking for. Unless I am. Then I am currently unable to take your call.
How long before they do a telefon or bring out a cash tracker?
December 9, 2025 at 4:42 PM
How long before they do a telefon or bring out a cash tracker?
You will be visited by three spirits
December 9, 2025 at 11:59 AM
You will be visited by three spirits
It's £28 in central London
December 3, 2025 at 9:35 PM
It's £28 in central London
My hotel or the weirdest greyhound stadium ever?
December 3, 2025 at 9:25 PM
My hotel or the weirdest greyhound stadium ever?
"This is not the beautiful game...."
December 2, 2025 at 9:18 PM
"This is not the beautiful game...."
Punishments if Dante devised an up to date Middle-class circle of hell
December 1, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Punishments if Dante devised an up to date Middle-class circle of hell
What happens when you forget to put water into a microwave rice cooker
November 30, 2025 at 10:08 AM
What happens when you forget to put water into a microwave rice cooker
Kids got me up at 7am so they could volunteer at the Leeds Abbey Dash. At least it meant I was out for when Nova Bakehouse opened
November 30, 2025 at 9:56 AM
Kids got me up at 7am so they could volunteer at the Leeds Abbey Dash. At least it meant I was out for when Nova Bakehouse opened
A police witness has just referred to this character as "a man in his 40s".
November 29, 2025 at 7:47 PM
A police witness has just referred to this character as "a man in his 40s".
This has to be the most underused gadget I have in my kitchen, but also, it is one of the easiest to use. No idea why it hides in the cupboard as much as it does.
November 29, 2025 at 9:46 AM
This has to be the most underused gadget I have in my kitchen, but also, it is one of the easiest to use. No idea why it hides in the cupboard as much as it does.
Mash Gang have gone from Magpie brewery to shortly being £5 for 4 in supermarkets. Really hope the value of the product isn't diminished.
Am told Kirkstall are brewing and distributing for them
Am told Kirkstall are brewing and distributing for them
November 23, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Mash Gang have gone from Magpie brewery to shortly being £5 for 4 in supermarkets. Really hope the value of the product isn't diminished.
Am told Kirkstall are brewing and distributing for them
Am told Kirkstall are brewing and distributing for them
"This is what religion sounds like to non-believers.
Gospel! Gospel! Gospel!
Body of Christ
Mandem Judas squealing to the rozers.
Trinity! Trinity! Trinity!
Jews, Romans Brap! Brap! Brap!
Lamb of god, with no mint sauce.
Noah's flood, where did that water go?
Go to Rome. Geezer in the big house"
Gospel! Gospel! Gospel!
Body of Christ
Mandem Judas squealing to the rozers.
Trinity! Trinity! Trinity!
Jews, Romans Brap! Brap! Brap!
Lamb of god, with no mint sauce.
Noah's flood, where did that water go?
Go to Rome. Geezer in the big house"
November 23, 2025 at 1:57 PM
"This is what religion sounds like to non-believers.
Gospel! Gospel! Gospel!
Body of Christ
Mandem Judas squealing to the rozers.
Trinity! Trinity! Trinity!
Jews, Romans Brap! Brap! Brap!
Lamb of god, with no mint sauce.
Noah's flood, where did that water go?
Go to Rome. Geezer in the big house"
Gospel! Gospel! Gospel!
Body of Christ
Mandem Judas squealing to the rozers.
Trinity! Trinity! Trinity!
Jews, Romans Brap! Brap! Brap!
Lamb of god, with no mint sauce.
Noah's flood, where did that water go?
Go to Rome. Geezer in the big house"
Sex slang on Duolingo
November 20, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Sex slang on Duolingo
Eldest wanted a maritozzo. Three hours later.
November 16, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Eldest wanted a maritozzo. Three hours later.
I like Angela Hartnett. One of the better ones to come out of the Ramsey lot. But I see Waitrose have swapped Heston for her name on the bloody expensive Christmas stuff.
November 16, 2025 at 11:24 AM
I like Angela Hartnett. One of the better ones to come out of the Ramsey lot. But I see Waitrose have swapped Heston for her name on the bloody expensive Christmas stuff.
In what world do these gadgets exist?
November 15, 2025 at 1:09 PM
In what world do these gadgets exist?
Hold on. Is the Guardian against strike action now?
November 13, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Hold on. Is the Guardian against strike action now?
It is not even 3pm.
Absolute chancer
Absolute chancer
November 13, 2025 at 2:52 PM
It is not even 3pm.
Absolute chancer
Absolute chancer
I was going to ask if you were familiar with the Tour de France Caravan, but others beat me too it - however, as no one has shown you the leek mobile....
November 13, 2025 at 1:37 PM
I was going to ask if you were familiar with the Tour de France Caravan, but others beat me too it - however, as no one has shown you the leek mobile....
It's the Alan Partridge big plate of poppies
November 9, 2025 at 4:28 PM
It's the Alan Partridge big plate of poppies
My 16yo who is not a young man but still... Wears this.
Now if you'd have asked 34 years ago it would have been Joop. Everyone wore Joop.
Now if you'd have asked 34 years ago it would have been Joop. Everyone wore Joop.
November 9, 2025 at 10:16 AM
My 16yo who is not a young man but still... Wears this.
Now if you'd have asked 34 years ago it would have been Joop. Everyone wore Joop.
Now if you'd have asked 34 years ago it would have been Joop. Everyone wore Joop.
Clearing stuff out. I have a vague recollection that this ball was used when Middlesex dismantled Glamorgan in the 1990s.
November 8, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Clearing stuff out. I have a vague recollection that this ball was used when Middlesex dismantled Glamorgan in the 1990s.
Minds lost.
Image: a screen grab from a football match in Watford where the fans behind a goal have created a Tifo (each fan holding a coloured shape) of a poppy in a Union Flag as a TV screen shows poppies raining down
Image: a screen grab from a football match in Watford where the fans behind a goal have created a Tifo (each fan holding a coloured shape) of a poppy in a Union Flag as a TV screen shows poppies raining down
November 7, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Minds lost.
Image: a screen grab from a football match in Watford where the fans behind a goal have created a Tifo (each fan holding a coloured shape) of a poppy in a Union Flag as a TV screen shows poppies raining down
Image: a screen grab from a football match in Watford where the fans behind a goal have created a Tifo (each fan holding a coloured shape) of a poppy in a Union Flag as a TV screen shows poppies raining down