You should go to sleep and then in about four hours wake up with a start exclaiming “OH GOD DAMN IT NOW I REMEMBER”

I was about to say “no one is going to get this but you lol” BUT MAYBE NOT

SEARCH YOUR MEMORIES

Nick Cave bait

We have always been at war with eggs

No sharp objects for our toddling terror

Seeing him run around with a chainsaw yelling “chainsawwww!” was so intensely cringe I had an out of body experience

Even when no one can hear you. Even when it’s just in your own head. It just seems super weird not to

This website sure has a lot of types of guy

Go back home. Sell your car. Melt down your license. Give away all your possessions. Vanish into the mists of the silent forest at the edge of town. Perfect solution.

I had a childhood full of random nosebleeds. Now I only get them when I’m in a really dry environment, and stress seems to be a factor. The first time I saw the Grand Canyon in person I got lightheaded and my nose instantly started bleeding. Have you seen the Grand Canyon lately?

It’s a common mistake

You clearly made the mistake of waking up

Yes this I too would like this

I don’t know but she has my sword

Solution: pizza bed

Tbh I’d probably get sick of constant cheerleading VERY quickly. Like okay thanks this one thing is safe but what will protect me from the cheerleaders