elly’s scream hole (PRIVATE)
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neurovore.bsky.social
elly’s scream hole (PRIVATE)
@neurovore.bsky.social
vent account for posting through bad brain days and mommy issues (BlueSky please allow private/locking accounts, I’m BEGGING YOU)

TW: dysfunctional family, emotionally and financially abusive parent, complex trauma, ableism, homophobia, and transphobia
Pinned
gonna have to pin this apparently: my account is a side/private account for venting about emotional abuse I experience, and I don’t want anyone besides

BlueSky won’t allow account locking or delisting from keyword searches, so if I block you it’s nothing personal
locking tf in [puts on weighted jacket, spends several hours lying down, playing vidya, or whatever I need to do in the moment to make my anger subside]
November 26, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Reposted by elly’s scream hole (PRIVATE)
There’s nothing normal about expecting family members to be in the same room when one has abused the other. This is abnormal. This is harmful. This is perpetuating more abusive patterns. When you elevate family traditions over protecting the abused, you are re-creating the abuse
November 23, 2025 at 3:01 PM
I really want to get chores and shit done today before I have to drive to my parents’ house and stay over

but lol! lmao…guess I have to calm down and seethe and cry first

thanks Eileen, you’re a real peach
November 26, 2025 at 3:22 PM
gonna have to pin this apparently: my account is a side/private account for venting about emotional abuse I experience, and I don’t want anyone besides

BlueSky won’t allow account locking or delisting from keyword searches, so if I block you it’s nothing personal
November 26, 2025 at 3:14 PM
leave it to my mother to ruin my morning by picking a fight about the Thanksgiving myth and yelling at me over text for (stupidly) trying to reason with her

reduced me to screaming at my phone about what a willfully ignorant fucking idiot she is

I hate her so much
November 26, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Reposted by elly’s scream hole (PRIVATE)
You're not struggling to feel better because you'e "bad" or "not trying hard enough." You're struggling because you've been injured, & that injury has been reinforced for years. Healing psychological wounds is complex. You're not "doing it wrong."

Easy does it. Patience. Grace.
November 15, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Reposted by elly’s scream hole (PRIVATE)
Acknowledging something hurt exactly as much as it did is not a sign of "weakness."

It's a sign that a survivor is serious about reckoning with what actually happened-- & that our abusers' & bullies' attempts to get us to ignore & minimize their harm have failed.
November 15, 2025 at 6:22 PM
every time I come back to my apartment from a visit to my parents’ house, I feel this heavy grief and desire to cry

partly because I don’t like leaving my dog, but also the pain of knowing that I won’t feel free of that place until both of them die
November 16, 2025 at 10:21 PM
one of the parishioners at my church went on a mission trip to South African orphanages and women’s shelters with his mother, who’s a Methodist minister

she nearly broke down crying when describing the conditions under the USAID cuts

I s2g I will curse the Boer Devil to my last dying breath
November 10, 2025 at 1:52 AM
my mother’s been bitching about my sister all morning and it’s seriously getting on my nerves

I’m definitely gonna check in with my sister when I get home tonight
November 2, 2025 at 12:35 PM
I knew it was coming and I was dreading it but I more or less got told by my supervisor that I need to start learning how to use generative AI 🫠🫠🫠🫠
October 21, 2025 at 4:52 PM
good news though, my four month old nephew got baptized today and I’m one of his godparents 👶🕊️💕
October 19, 2025 at 9:59 PM
according to a reliable source close to my parish who attended the diocesan convention yesterday, they’re leaving in late January, but are staying between now and then to help with the transitional process

I’m still very sad about it, but at least there’s a few months left where he’s still here
just learned through the parish newsletter that my rector and his husband will soon be leaving the parish

I kinda sorta felt like it was coming, but I really am not handling it well
October 19, 2025 at 9:55 PM
just learned through the parish newsletter that my rector and his husband will soon be leaving the parish

I kinda sorta felt like it was coming, but I really am not handling it well
October 18, 2025 at 2:34 AM
had an extremely fucked up version of a recurring nightmare, as one does on their 34th birthday
October 17, 2025 at 11:44 AM
like clockwork, I got eight ranting early this morning lmaooooooooo
I’m like one more childish anti-woke rant away from losing it on her, and like

any dopamine hit I get from actually saying something rational is followed by the deep dread I have of a long text rant from her days or weeks later
October 12, 2025 at 11:24 AM
it brings me no joy whatsoever to feel this way about my own mother, but I really can’t be around her unceasingly for too long

and not having my brother there will definitely make visits feel a bit more strained, ugh
thankful to the Nor’easter for sparing me from being around my mother for one extra day

my brother’s moving out over the next two weeks and she’s been more insecure (read: making me feel insane) than usual
October 11, 2025 at 11:39 PM
thankful to the Nor’easter for sparing me from being around my mother for one extra day

my brother’s moving out over the next two weeks and she’s been more insecure (read: making me feel insane) than usual
October 11, 2025 at 8:37 PM
signed up for NorthSky, but everything from the mod crashouts to Link’s perma-ban are making me super cynical

it seems like the ATProtocol might be tainted to some degree by the ppl who developed it, but idk
October 6, 2025 at 6:20 PM
after on-and-off condescension and beating around the bush, my mother finally outright said she thinks I might get ripped off + my insurance rates will go up

you could have told me this outright instead of patronizing me whilst I groped around in the dark, but okay!
never tell your emotionally unstable parent anything about your car problems

biggest mistake of my life
October 2, 2025 at 1:23 AM
I did get to talk to the lady from church about the incident two weeks ago + the possibility that money/church finances interfered with acknowledging G@z@

she was really sweet and validated a lot of my feelings, and helped balance my own thoughts so that I wasn’t coming at this purely out of anger
October 1, 2025 at 6:36 PM
never tell your emotionally unstable parent anything about your car problems

biggest mistake of my life
October 1, 2025 at 5:17 PM
one of the things that really sucks about having a parent whose brain got super cooked from years of right-wing websites: it crosses into ‘directly involves my marginalizations or those of ppl I care about” territory
oh dear, my mother found out about the Br!dg!tt3 M@cr0n conspiracy theory
September 25, 2025 at 11:21 PM
oh dear, my mother found out about the Br!dg!tt3 M@cr0n conspiracy theory
September 25, 2025 at 11:12 PM
he cut his hair again after tons of encouragement, I think he’s really gonna go for it this time!!!

I’m so happy for him and how many people are being supportive
watching one of my favorite antifascist journalists openly struggling with being a dysphoric, deeply closeted trans man is so fucking heartbreaking
September 25, 2025 at 9:48 PM